"What Turns Women On... And What Just Annoys Them"
Sex Advice for Men / Online Dating Home / Opposite Sex Channel
One of the truly weird things that I've been learning as I've been counseling men on how to improve their sexual relationships is how many things men do that they THINK women LIKE...
But actually just annoys the heck out of them.
In fact, many of the articles and books that are out there telling men "how to drive her crazy in the bedroom", actually RECOMMEND some of the things that women find most irritating when men do them.
Unbelievable.
I don't know how men EVER do things right because I have discovered that WOMEN, when asked... also sometimes say these same things...
In other words, if you were to ask a close female friend "what turns women on in bed," there's a chance that she'd give you sex advice that, if a man did it to her… it would probably annoy the crap out of her.
Freak show, right?
Why does this happen?
This is a really hard question, and I've been thinking about it for a while, and I've come with 3 possible answers...
Women are, themselves, completely unaware of what turns them on until a skilled lover actually DOES it to them.
2. Women are embarrassed by the truth of what turns them on, thinking "I'm the only freak, I better not tell the truth"
3. Women are reading the same magazine articles and figure it must be good advice or it wouldn't be in an article... even if they feel like it wouldn't really work on themselves, personally.
And to some extent, I think all 3 of these things are probably true.
So let's get into it—
What do men do in bed that they THINK is going to lead to orgasm, but that most women actually find kind of annoying...
ANNOYING SEX BEHAVIOR #1: Trying Too Hard To Please Her
All you hear in women's magazines is about how men are selfish lovers, or men don't pay enough attention to a woman's orgasm, or men should ask their woman what they want him to do...
Turns out that most women find that when guys try that hard to please them that it's... annoying.
"Is this okay?"
"Do you like it when I do this?"
"Is that too hard?"
"What do you want me to do next?"
"What works for you?"
"Did you come yet?"
The problem with this behavior-- this overly sensitive try-hard attitude-- is that it is, in
the end, sort of weak and feminine.
Women find it annoying when you are so concerned with their happiness that you seem to be too insecure to just let yourself experience the love
making with them.
When a man is so focused on figuring out what SHE wants, it feels like he's tentative and weak to her... So even if she does tell you what she
likes, and even if it does FEEL good... it kills some of that sense of being swept up by a real man who knows what he wants and knows how to get it… in other words, it may kill her ATTRACTION for you.
And when you kill her attraction like that, it is very, very annoying.
Women want a man to LEAD. And they want him to know what HE likes. They want a man who is wild, untamed, and masculine.
What do YOU as a MAN really like to do to your woman in the bedroom? What unleashes YOUR passion for her body? What excites and thrills YOU?
Turns out, there's an excellent chance she's going to like it when you do THOSE things.
And even if she doesn't, because you are so free and open with your desires, it will encourage her to tell you, without being asked, EXACTLY what she wants too.
But more importantly, when she feels that you are doing the things that turn YOU on, when she feels the POWER of your lust and passion...
THAT is the biggest turn on for her-- your masculine passion directed at HER body.
And that is one of the most powerful ways to unlock the little gates in her head that sometimes hold her back... and give her a massive, screaming
orgasm.
ANNOYING SEX BEHAVIOR #2: Using A "Canned Technique" You Read About
Of course, at some point, you have to be able to learn something new and use it, or you'll always be doing the same old thing over and over
again-- and I've learned plenty of "techniques" to use in bed from books and articles that
were great.
Here's where the problem comes in--
Too many guys read about some technique that's "guaranteed to drive her crazy", and they sit down and memorize the move... stick this there and do this other thing like that...
And then forget all about 2 critical factors...
The first is that ALL WOMEN ARE DIFFERENT. Just because it worked for the woman who wrote the article when her boyfriend did it, does not mean it will be good for your woman as well.
Think about it-- there are men who prefer a blowjob to intercourse any day of the week... and there are many men who don't like them AT ALL.
People are just different and that's the reality of it.
So trying to force something to work that your woman isn't getting off on is... annoying.
The other problem is that if you go about doing this technique in some dogmatic way, hoping that it's going to have a certain effect on her… Then you are making the same mistake as "Annoying Behavior #1"...
You're just trying too hard.
If, on the other hand, you read about some sexual technique that's supposed to be good for HER, but as you're reading it you think, "Damn! That sounds HOT!" and you find that thinking about doing this technique turns YOU on...
Then absolutely GO FOR IT.
Because then you are doing it for YOU... and at least one of you will enjoy it (you).
She'll FEEL that authenticity in your touch, and so, even if it doesn't "work" on her, she'll dig it anyway.
If it DOES work on her too, then you've found a great new thing to add to your lives.
But here's my main point-- rather than putting too much effort into a "canned technique" that someone else is trying to sell you on, try this:
Do something that really turns YOU on... something you fantasized about, but haven't tried on her yet. And then...
PAY ATTENTION.
Pay attention to what her body is telling you.
Tune in to how she is feeling, how she is breathing, the sounds she is making, the way her hips rise to meet you when something feels sexy...
Sure, try the technique if you like, but instead of paying attention to doing it "right",
pay attention to what she is FEELING.
If you do that, her body will guide you to all the right techniques, and you will modify whatever you are doing to reach a harmony between your desire, and her pleasure.
And then, instead of feeling annoyed that you're trying to make something work on her that worked on "some other girl," she'll feel the incredible connection that comes from knowing that you are "in tune" with her.
And THAT will lead her to a powerful orgasm.
ANNOYING SEX BEHAVIOR #3: Sprinting For The Finish Line
Men are just brought up this way. When we feel like we're close to completing the job, we give it that last bit of "go" to cross the finish line with a powerful burst of energy.
We do that in everything from sports to a project for work-- that last big push at the end.
So when you feel like she's close, or when she actually SAYS she's close ("I'm almost there!"), there's this powerful urge to push it a bit harder, a bit faster... and sprint across the finish line.
Which, unfortunately, changes the rhythm and the intensity THAT WAS WORKING... and prevents her from having an orgasm...
Which is...
Very, VERY annoying.
Instead, when you find the intensity and rhythm that's working, and she's moaning and she's getting closer and closer...
Just keep doing EXACTLY what you are doing.
I know this can be hard-- it can be physically difficult to maintain the rhythm and angle if she starts thrashing around like an eel on a fish hook...
But if you do, if you can maintain that rhythm just a little bit longer, she will have a deep and satisfying orgasm.
The last time I shared this last tip I had dozens of emails from couples thanking me...
Some of them had been messing this one up for YEARS without realizing what they were doing wrong, and with this incredibly simple distinction,
their entire sex-life had suddenly become much easier and more pleasurable because she could come so much more easily and frequently.
In other words-- you should definitely try this out.
And guess what?
There's a whole lot of other behaviors that men do, thinking women really like it... but that actually just annoys them.
And there's even more stuff-- techniques, exercises, mental attitudes, and ideas-- that
you NEED to learn to give her the most mind-bending, sheet-burning, and, yes, even spiritually transforming orgasmic experiences she's ever had.
Which is why I've put everything together for you in a nice little package that I call
"Revolutionary Sex".
Find out more about it right here, and get your copy of my FREE REPORT: "How To Avoid The Ten Most Common Mistakes Men Make In The Bedroom"
How To Give A Woman The Most Intense Orgasms Of Her Life
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