Every woman loves a challenge

Every woman loves a challenge

Dating Tips Home / Online Dating Home / Opposite Sex Channel

Want to know a fact about women most guys will go to their graves without ever knowing? Of course you do! So read every word of David D.'s article below – it could be the one thing you need to learn to TRANSFORM your success with women and dating. (After you read this article, do yourself a favor and pick up a FREE trial of his eBook, Double Your Dating, here.)

I want to tell you a fact about women that most guys will go to their graves without ever knowing.

It's the idea of being a CHALLENGE.

Being a challenge is the most powerful thing you can do to differentiate yourself from other guys - inside a bar or club, or anywhere.

A few years ago a close female friend of mine told me "Every woman loves a challenge."

At the time I thought I understood the words, but I didn't understand the importance of it... or what she REALLY meant.

The fact of the matter is that most guys throw themselves at women and act lucky for an opportunity to be with them. Society even refers to a guy getting laid as "getting lucky."

Because most guys are "easy," women know that they can get a man anytime they want... and usually the man of their choice.

The great thing about this is you can give yourself a MASSIVE advantage if you give a woman a challenge. You'll be able to literally turn the tables and have her pursuing you.


It took me a long time to figure out exactly what to do to become a challenge in a woman's eyes.

I started out by asking some of my female friends what made a guy a challenge. Here's what they said:

- He doesn't always return phone calls when you think he will, and doesn't call when he says he will.

- He isn't always available to hang out.

- It's hard to tell if he likes you or not, and you never know how much.

The interesting realization I had is that just the fact that you are a challenge can create TREMENDOUS attraction. It's human nature for people to want what they can't have, and women are so used to meeting "easy" men that simply NOT being "easy" can be enough to get HER to pursue YOU.

But wouldn't she have to be calling me already for me NOT to return her calls? In other words, wouldn't she have to already be into me in order to CARE whether I liked her or not?


I realized there had to be some subtle ways to let a woman know that you're a challenge from the moment you meet her, without actually saying it.

I thought about what kind of guys were naturally "hard to get." The answer is of course guys who already have a woman, or who have women swooning over them on a regular basis.

So what do these guys do differently - at the very BEGINNING - to trigger that powerful feeling in a woman that says "I have to have him"?

It's all about being a challenge. So I'm going to share with you 5 elements of becoming an attractive challenge to a woman. They are subtly different than what most guys do, and they work like magic to create attraction:

#1 Hold Onto Your Cards - Don't Tell or Show Too Much Interest

- Don't introduce yourself until she asks your name

- Avoid the standard "wuss" questions like "What kind of guys do you like?", "Am I your type?" or "I bet you have a boyfriend..."

- Don't linger around her

- Don't give her your full attention if other people are around

#2 Make Her Work

- Make your goal to get her to ask you out, or ask to join you to do something you're already doing

- Decline or ignore her first advances or invitations. (You want to hang out some time? I don't know...). Do this in a fun way.

- Make her qualify herself to you ("What makes you interesting/different than other girls? What are 3 things a guy would like about you, and please don't say looks?")

- Give her fun tests, like the Ice Cream Test - walk up to a girl with a serious look on your face and ask her, "Hey, what's your favorite ice cream?" She answers, then you roll your eyes and say, "That's minus 1 point. If you would have said Chocolate Mint I would have let you get my number. Now, if you would have said Neapolitan I would have walked away, so you still have somewhat of a chance with me..." Do this in a sarcastic, joking way. Women love fun little conversations like this - plus it sets the "frame" that you're the selector.

#3 Use Takeaways

- Get a girl laughing, then immediately walk away

- Start talking to someone else while you're talking to her

- Be unpredictable (put your arm around her, then ignore her and start talking to your buddy)

- Use the power of "maybe" ("I have to get back to my friends, but MAYBE I'll see you later....")

- If she starts talking on her phone, either walk away or - better yet - whip out your phone and say overly loud, "Yeah, I was talking to this girl but she's kind of a DORK ..."

#4 Challenge Her With Cocky Comedy

- "I don't know if you are up to it. I don't know if you can hang."

- Accuse her of checking you out, and trying to romance or seduce you.

- Suggest that she buy you things or take you out somewhere nice if she wants to spend more time with you

#5 Body Language

- Lean back and relax. Don't lean in.

- Most guys re-orient their whole body to face the girl right away. This communicates interest too soon, and can even be intimidating. Instead, look over your shoulder at her, and wait for her to turn her body to face you before YOU do.

- Make her close the distance. The more distance you give a woman, the more comfortable she'll be. From even 6 feet away you can say "Hey, are you girls causing trouble over there..."

These tips should get you started...

And if you're reading this and saying to yourself, "I'm ready to learn more strategies like these and take my success with women to the next level" then you really need to go sign up for my free Dating Secrets newsletter right now. Check it out below:

Two or three times each week, I'll send you killer tips on how to talk to women, how to approach them and get numbers quickly, free and fun date ideas, and how to take things to a physical level smoothly and without rejection.

Plus you'll get access to my catalog page where you can find free clips from my "Meeting Women In Bars & Clubs" CD/DVD product. It's entirely devoted to teaching you ALL my personal favorite secrets for meeting women in bars and clubs.

Go sign up for the newsletter right here:

Free Dating Tips Newsletter and Download eBook

David DeAngelo is the author of "Double Your Dating - What Every Man Should Know About How To Be Successful With Women", and has taught thousands of men how to be more successful with women and dating.

Copyright 2004 David DeAngelo Communications Inc., All Rights Reserved. "David DeAngelo" and "Double Your Dating" are trademarks used by David DeAngelo Communications Inc.

You can follow us on Twitter and Facebook for content updates. Also, sign up for our email list for weekly updates and check us out on Google+ as well.

Around the Web