DATING TIPS: Getting women to pick you up
07/13/07
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>>>THIS WEEK'S QUESTION
Hey David D!
Who says there's no such thing as magic? When it comes to women, cocky+funny is
PURE 100% magic. It is one of the major keys to getting her making her
comfortable with you, to getting her number, to getting the date, kissing,
getting laid, EVERYTHING! Your stuff is pure platinum my man! Looking back on
mailbags from over a year ago, I still shake my head and say: "Man, this guy is
good. I cant wait 'till I am able to pull off those lines like that!" The lines
are so funny and with cockyness, it just blows them away! Everytime you do it,
you can just FEEL the women responding to you in a positive way and not trying
to ignore you or get away from you when you act like a wuss-bag. They are always
laughing and smiling and even THEY tend to get touchy-feely, asking me for MY
number and then calling ME (of course, I always get their numbers too) or asking
me to call them, asking me when we're going out, and even asking ME for sex. I
could not believe it! And often, this could happen within minutes or hours of
meeting...not weeks, months, or years like I once thought it took. I suggest all
guys especially the skeptics out there to get your stuff. It works!
What I LOVE is how you say making it look like as if a woman is picking YOU up.
It sure takes the pressure off of the situation. It's all in the mindset. You
are not nervous because you know she wants you and is trying to get you...not
the other way around. Then you act accordingly. Here's just a few of the lines I
use:
"Look, just because you're being sweet to me doesnt mean I'm going to sleep with
you. What? You thought I was THAT easy? Cummon!"
(with women at work or women working somewhere) "How can you possibly get any
work done when you're flirting with me all the time? I know I'm a stud and all
but if you lose your job, dont think I'm going to support you!"
(after seeing a woman) "I know we had fun, but please dont become a stalker and
call me 50 times a day or else I'll have the cops pay you a visit with a
restraining order in hand!"
(If a woman hints at sex or sometimes I'll bring it up)
"I dont know if I could have sex with you...what if you could only last 2
minutes? I dont know if you can even kiss...I tell you what, I'll THINK about
it" (then I kiss her)
(cocky+funny for a common situation)
Her: "How are you?"
Me: "Well, I've been told I'm pretty damn good!" with a 'wink'
(If a woman walks past me)
Me: "What are you doing" (or where are you going?)
Her: "I'm going to such and such or I'm doing such and such"
Me: "You're a lousy liar...<pause>...It's really ok to admit you were just
trying to get a look at me... and as long as you're not a stalker, I may give
you a chance!"
(If she makes fun of herself) Her: "I'm such a retard" or "My hair looks awful"
or "My lipstick doesnt look good does it?"
Me: "Well, I didnt want to say anything!" lol "But I think those guys over there
were thinking 'Whats her problem? She's so clueless!"
OR
Her: "My hair looks bad doesnt it?" (or any other line where she makes fun of
herself)
Me: "You can say that again!" (with a playful tone)
I love it! I love it! With this type of communication, they react SO
differently! A lot of times, they will break down and admit they DO like me! And
this keeps you out of the "lets just be friends" category and reduces the number
of fake numbers and blow-offs you get from women. It also keeps you from
appearing "TOO NICE". AND I dont have to CHASE them anymore! It's a wonderful
feeling. Now on the other hand, what if you said:
"I bet you have a boyfriend, right?"
"Hey baby, you're so beautiful!"
"Can I take you out sometime?"
"Oh, baby, there's nothing wrong with you! You're gorgeous!"
AH! David, just like you say...THIS STUFF IS TERRIBLE! Wuss, kiss-ass behavior
at its best!
It's so lame, so boring, and so wussie, and so blah! Using cocky+funny, we can
have more fun without sounding like a loser plus women respond 1,000,000% times
better with cocky+funny. Probably only 1-2% of the male population know what
cocky+funny is and probably half of those do it without realizing it. This type
of communication is DIFFERENT from what MOST guys do which makes you stand out!
But it's a lot like water. For water (H20), you need 2 hydrogen atoms and one
oxygen atom. If not then you get some other element you arent looking for. You
have to have the right mixture of cocky AND funny or else it doesnt work as well
(although sheer cockyness with mild humor CAN work to a degree).
Now, I have a question and observation that is important to me, David. SOMETIMES
when I throw out a cocky+funny response, they will say "Oh whatever!" or roll
their eyes or say you're mean, get mad, or something like that and walk away.
This happens not often but on rare occasions. These women are probably uptight
anyways and not worth getting know. When they say "whatever" or "You're so mean"
and they're laughing or smiling, and they still keep talking to me, then I know
it's working. Also, when you say something like: "...Oh quit lying, you were
just walking near me because you want me" and they say "No, I dont want you" or
"No I wasnt, I was just doing _ _ _ _ _" in a semi-serious tone, how do you
respond to that to keep the cocky+funny going? In other words, what do you do
when they act as if they ARENT picking you up?
Thanks a million Dave...you've changed my life forever... seriously.
GT from Nashville, Tennessee
>>>MY COMMENTS:
OK, so let's talk about the great comments that you've shared, and then I'll
address your question...
I was amazed when I first realized that you could actually turn the tables
around, pretend that you're trying to "resist her advances", and make fun of her
for trying to "put the moves on you"... and wind up having the woman you're
talking to actually start feeling attracted to you as a result.
It really is amazing.
Now, I know that a lot of guys hear this approach and think "Yea, right. There's
no way that just pretending that a woman is pursuing you will MAKE her pursue
you"...
But this isn't just any old common way of "pretending".
What you're doing here is a very special, Cocky & Funny, flirty, engaging way of
pretending.
I'm sure you've watched the Discovery Channel, and seen animals "play fighting".
It's common among young animals in particular.
Now, how do animals know that it's only "play", as opposed to "real" fighting?
I mean, have you ever seen the way some animals, like lion cubs and wolf pups
jump on and bite each other?
It certainly LOOKS like real fighting.
But it's not... it's play.
Well there's a very similar thing that happens when you flirt with a woman using
the Cocky & Funny technique... and when you use this further to pretend that
she's trying to "pick you up" and you're "resisting her advances".
You have to use just a LITTLE EXTRA drama.
You have to be a little "overly suspicious" with your tone.
You have to act just a little too serious and offended.
These little cues, along with a good sense of humor and timing are the hints and
triggers that make a woman instantly switch into "Oh, this is play" mode,
instead of behaving as if you're a loser who has no imagination.
There are some other key benefits, as you mentioned above, as well when you're
using this approach.
One is that you don't come across as nervous or intimidated. The fact that
you're turning the tables around, having fun, and acting like you're something
special sends the message that you're totally cool, calm, and comfortable in
your own skin... and, in fact, you're SO comfortable that you're going to go
immediately to "play" mode. Another is that it gives you a "character role" to
play that is the OPPOSITE of being a WUSS. This is handy, as most guys switch
quickly into Wuss mode when they start talking to an attractive woman.
Finally, it gives you all kinds of great ways to end the interaction...
You can say:
"OK, well I'm not going to give you my number, but you can write down your email
for me, and maybe I'll get back to you sometime..." etc.
It even makes taking things to the next level easy and charming, because you're
"resisting forward".
A quick personal story:
I was at Hooters Restaurant yesterday afternoon with a friend, and the waitress
approached us to get our order.
She walked over and said something like "Hi, can I get you something to drink?"
etc.
I pretended not to notice her, and kept talking to my friend.
Then, as she finished asking the question, I turned to her with a surprised and
"fake offended" look on my face, and said "Oh, that's OK, I was just TALKING"
(as if she had interrupted me).
She opened her mouth with the "Oh, no you didn't! I can't believe you just said
that" look.
I shook my head at her.
Then my friend looked at her and said "Wow, you're very forward. Next thing
she's going to be asking for your phone number".
I shook my head at her again, and rolled my eyes.
We gave her the drink order, and she went away.
She came back a few minutes later to tell me that my drink was going to be
delayed, because they were making some kind of change in the kitchen.
Of course, I threw up my hands in despair, rolled my eyes at her, and shook my
head (as if she was disappointing me horribly).
She laughed and said "Hey, you'd better watch out, I might have to ask you for
your phone number"...
THAT FAST.
We had talked for a grand total of about a minute, and she was already joking
around about asking me for my number.
Keep in mind, this is a HOOTERS waitress (and a cute one, at that). She works in
an environment where hundreds of guys try to pick up on her, one after the
other...
Now, as you can imagine, this kind of thing happens all the time when I interact
with waitresses, etc. I've found that it's no harder to get a waitress to give
you her email/number than it is to get any other girl's info, by the way.
What's the secret?
Being playful, fun, different, Cocky & Funny, and not acting like a Wuss who
wants to call her 100 times a day and tell her how pretty she is.
Now I'd like to address your question...
Here it is again:
"...SOMETIMES when I throw out a cocky+funny response, they will say "Oh
whatever!" or roll their eyes or say you're mean, get mad, or something like
that and walk away. This happens not often but on rare occasions. These women
are probably uptight anyways and not worth getting know. When they say
"whatever" or "You're so mean" and they're laughing or smiling, and they still
keep talking to me, then I know it's working. Also, when you say something like:
"...Oh quit lying, you were just walking near me because you want me" and they
say "No, I dont want you" or "No I wasnt, I was just doing _ _ _ _ _" in a
semi-serious tone, how do you respond to that to keep the cocky+funny going? In
other words, what do you do when they act as if they ARENT picking you up?..."
What I'm about to tell you is sometimes hard for guys to accept, so get ready.
SOME PEOPLE DON'T HAVE A SENSE OF HUMOR.
No, really.
My guess is that something like 60%-80% of the population just plain aren't very
interesting or fun to talk to.
Some people are actually ARROGANT about their lack of a sense of humor.
These are my personal favorites.
I remember meeting a girl at a bar a couple of years ago.
I was in Hollywood, CA at a fancy bar, and she was one of these "I'm a beautiful
actress, and I know it" types.
I was ordering a drink, and she bumped into me.
I turned and said "Don't touch me!"
She just looked at me with a "You're a jerk" look, and leaned away from me.
I smiled at her, and said "It was a joke, it's OK" (with kind of a slightly
sarcastic "you didn't get it" tone of voice).
She said something like "Well, it wasn't funny. You seem like an arrogant jerk".
LOL!
I couldn't help myself... I burst into laughter.
She, of course, got even more annoyed.
Now, most guys would have gotten all upset, thought that they must have done
something majorly wrong, and tried to apologize and get the woman to like them.
I immediately recognized this girl as a person who just plain doesn't have a
sharp sense of humor, and who is probably a HUGE pain in the ass to deal with in
real life, and laughed at her.
You'll notice that a lot of guys write in to the Mailbags with questions like
"I'm dating four women right now, and they're all wonderful, but there's this
ONE girl that I just can't get... how do I make the one that isn't interested
LIKE me?"
This is a curious thing.
We humans always want the approval of the person who doesn't want to give it to
us.
Instead of just walking away and saying "your loss", we often chase after them,
begging and pleading for their approval... and thinking that we must have done
something wrong.
Remember, some people actually ENJOY making other people feel bad. Some women
actually ENJOY rejecting men. It gives them a feeling of power.
There are MANY women who will spend all week shopping, two hours putting on
their clothing and makeup (and doing their hair), just to go out and get
attention from men... so they can reject those men, and complain to their
friends about what "losers" and "pigs" men are, and how they hate it when men
look at them like a "piece of meat".
Go figure.
Let me give you a little "tough love".
Part of growing up, becoming a REAL MAN, and getting this area of your life
handled is realizing that not all women are nice people, and not letting those
that aren't nice AFFECT YOU.
You can reach a point in your life where your attitude become "I do not give
anyone permission to take my joy, happiness, and good mood from me".
When you get to this point, then IT DOESN'T MATTER if a woman doesn't respond
positively to your approach.
It doesn't matter if she rejects you.
It doesn't matter if she doesn't have a sense of humor.
None of this matters when you don't give anyone permission to TAKE YOUR JOY FROM
YOU.
My advice: Learn to walk away. Learn to blow it off. Learn how to IMMEDIATELY
disconnect and detach from these types of situations, and NOT let them affect
you.
The "numbers game" goes both ways.
If you start meeting a lot of women, you will, by nature of meeting a LOT of
women, meet quite a few that don't have a sense of humor, aren't friendly,
aren't available, etc.
You need to learn the skill of keeping your power and joy for yourself, and
NEVER giving it to someone you don't even know.
Make a decision right now that your joy is your own, and that you'll never allow
another person to take it from you.
Dude, someone give me a hug.
OK... on a more serious note...
If you've been reading my newsletters for awhile, or you've had a chance to
download a copy of my eBook , then you know that I really believe it's important
to get your "inner game" handled.
By "inner game", I mean things like your emotions, your outlook on life, your
"mental map" of how things work between men and women, etc.
It took me a long time, and a lot of trial and error to find the things that
REALLY work best when it comes to making women feel that powerful emotion called
ATTRACTION.
And one of the most important things that I realized is that if you don't get
your INNER GAME together, and learn how to THINK about women and dating, all the
techniques in the world aren't going to help you very much.
I think it's important to change the way you THINK as you change the way you
BEHAVE.
Women use little clues to figure out if you're the "real deal" or if you're just
"faking it".
If you don't BELIEVE in what you're doing, then you're going to come across as a
fake. You'll feel like you're being "manipulative"... and like a fraud.
When you UNDERSTAND what is happening, how and why women act the way they do,
and how to make women feel ATTRACTION, then your behaviors feel "right" and they
come across as AUTHENTIC... because they ARE.
In my eBook, I take a lot of time to help you get your "inner game" together, so
you can feel GOOD about your success with women.
Of course, I also reveal dozens and dozens and dozens of killer techniques for
approaching, meeting, dating, and taking things to a physical level with women.
I recommend that you check them out... and sign up for my free newsletter while
you're at it.
You can do both here:
Free Dating Tips Newsletter and Download eBook
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