Dating Tips Q&A: Why do women play games?
There’s nothing worse than asking for a girl’s number and getting the “why don’t you give me yours instead?” line. What do you do? And what will she do with your number if you DO give it to her? If you answered “flush it down the toilet”… then read the article below and find out what David D.’s surprising answer is… then go sign up for his free newsletter for more tips like these, here.
***THIS WEEK'S QUESTION***
Hi, I just want to say that I've had tremendous success and confidence with women after reading your stuff... I feel like I understand them so well. You really do know your sh**! I guess it shoulda been obvious that teasing women and acting cocky was the way to their heart, as you can see it happening all over, but for some reason this just never clicked in my brain, and I always had this delusion that being the nicest, most sensitive guy she's ever met would make her swoon. Most of these dating tip books emphasize conversation, and what to talk about with a women.. while that doesn't really matter too much, it's your attitude. Good ups, man.
Anyway, I have a question. Although I hardly ever fail with women after being enlightened, when I'm first meeting a girl and teasing her and being cocky etc etc (you know the drill), they respond well and seem to be interested in me. However, when I ask for the number, lots (not necessarily most, but a good number) of girls initially say "Oh, my number's disconnected." or "I just moved, and haven't gotten new phone number installed yet." However, when I give a cocky response, or even if i just say "yeah right", they IMMEDIATELY concede and give me their number... and lo and behold, it works. I'm just wondering why they make up those lies if they're going to give in INSTANTLY. I wouldn't think that this was too important if it happened once or twice, but there seems to be a trend here. What's going on?
I'm really glad that you asked this particular question, because it's hard for a lot of guys to believe that this kind of thing could be real (or at least so common).
But the fact is, once you really get out there and start meeting women, you start to see patterns. And some of those patterns are quite unexpected.
My translation of what you just asked is: "Why do women play games when you ask for their number?"
In response to your question, I'm going to give a two-pronged answer:
1) The psychology of what's going on here.
2) How I deal with this particular situation, and others like it.
Let me tell you a short story.
A few years ago, I did some work with a guy that had a particularly interesting technique for hiring people.
Here's what he did: After interviewing people for the position, he'd call back the one he liked BEST, and say:
"I wanted to call and thank you for applying for this job, but I just don't think you're the right person for the position"... and then he'd listen.
If the person said "OK, well thank you" he'd just hang up and call the next favorite one.
On the other hand, if they said "Wait a minute, I am the best person for the position, I'm sure of it" etc. he'd say "Well, tell me more. Why do you think so?"
I actually listened to him do this live on the speakerphone one day in his office with a woman that he had interviewed. Sure enough, when he said "Well, I just don't think you're the right person..." she answered with "Why not? I am the best..." etc.
And, sure enough, he hired her.
The point here is that in a hiring situation, there are usually many people applying. An interviewer needs to have ways of quickly filtering through and disqualifying the unacceptable candidates. And a SAVVY interviewer will have ways of quickly finding the EXCEPTIONAL candidates.
This was a great technique for doing just that.
I'm sure you can see where I'm going with this...
I can remember when I first started "walking up" to women and trying to get their phone numbers.
If I had a dollar for every woman that said:
"Why don't you give me yours, and I'll call you instead"
"I don't give out my number"
"I'll give you my pager number"
"I lost my phone and my number is disconnected and the dog ate my homework and there was an accident..."
I think you get the picture.
Well, one fateful day, probably out of frustration, when a woman started to give me an excuse, I just looked at her, pointed to the piece of paper I had, and said:
"Just write it down, it's going to be OK."
And, lo and behold, she wrote her number down.
I thought "No way, it must have been an accident."
So I tried it again the next time I got resistance.
Sure enough, it worked again.
As a matter of fact, it's worked so well, and so many times that it's my "standard line" whenever I get resistance from a woman. Really.
You'll even find it written explicitly as part of my "3 Minute Phone Number (and email) Technique" in my book Double Your Dating.
The long and the short of it is that ATTRACTIVE WOMEN ARE APPROACHED ALL THE TIME. THEY NEED QUICK, EASY WAYS TO FIGURE OUT IF YOU'RE EITHER THE REAL DEAL OR A WUSS THAT GIVES UP AT THE FIRST SIGN OF RESISTANCE.
Hint: Polite men that say "Oh, OK, sorry for bothering you..." or "OK, here's my number, call me..." are not SEXY or ATTRACTIVE.
On the other hand, men that say (Some of my favorites):
"Oh, it's OK... you don't have a phone? That's nothing to be embarrassed about" or "And you expect me to believe that?" in a cocky, funny way instantly telegraph the message: "I'm not a girly-man that gives up easily, and I see through your games. I don't buy it" are VERY ATTRACTIVE. It just says all the right things.
So here are a few things to remember:
1) Attractive women are approached all the time by men, and are constantly being asked for their number.
2) If you were a woman who as getting asked for your phone number forty seven times a day, you'd probably make excuses yourself.
3) The excuses and "Why don't you give me yours" type responses weed out about 95% of the losers that have no spine and no persistence.
4) If you're READY for this in advance, and you KNOW what you're going to say and do when it happens, AND you don't answer with a lame, needy, wuss response, you increase your chances of getting the number DRAMATICALLY.
5) Confident, cocky, funny responses are a great way to power through these situations.
Of course, if you use my 3-Minute technique the way I've presented it in a past newsletter and in my book, you'll greatly reduce this type of resistance in the first place, and you'll know exactly what to do if and when you run into excuses and resistance.
Let's face it: Attractive women get a lot of attention. They're not looking for a guy that throws himself at her, then gives up easily. They're looking for a guy that has all kinds of self confidence, and sees right through her games... to the point where he disarms her and walks away with the digits.
Think about it.
And, of course, if you want to learn more about how the female mind works...
... plus dozens and dozens of specific techniques to attract women, get their numbers and emails, get more dates, and take things to a physical level, you need to sign up for my free newsletter, and download a copy of my book, "Double Your Dating". Just go to:
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