2008 Winter Movie Preview: March
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With March comes the annual theatrical thaw, away from shitty old leftovers and toward the first of the spring blockbusters. On tap for '08? Why, it's Roland Emmerich! He's already proven he knows how to show New York City being ground to dust by giant lizards and natural disasters; now, with "10,000 B.C.," he makes like Huey Lewis and takes us back in time. March also brings us the first of the year's wide-release prestige pics, in "Snow Angels," and a whole bunch of other stuff in between. Take a look below to find out more!
10,000
B.C. (Warner Bros., March 7)
Starring: Steven Strait, Camilla Belle, Cliff Curtis, Omar
Sharif, Tim Barlow, Marco Khan, Reece Ritchie
Director: Roland Emmerich
Rating: PG-13
The Pitch: Emmerich, director of such "I thought
Michael Bay did that" films as "Godzilla," "Independence
Day," and "The Day After Tomorrow," hops into the Wayback
Machine for some prehistoric action. Emphasis on the "action."
The Buzz: Emmerich has already proven his mettle (or
not, depending on who you ask) with giant lizards, aliens, and natural
disasters, so woolly mammoths and sabertooth tigers are the next natural
step, no?
Trailer Highlight: The dialogue. Ha, ha, ha! Just kidding!
Bottom Line: Well, it's bound to be better than "The
Flinstones" -- we think -- and it'll probably attract a fair number
of people who rushed out to see "300." But the trailer isn't
all that impressive, even in terms of sheer spectacle.
Official Site: http://www.10000bcmovie.com/
The
Accidental Husband (Yari, March 8)
Starring:
Uma
Thurman, Colin Firth, Jeffrey Dean Morgan, Sam Shepard, Isabella
Rossellini, Lindsay Sloane, Justina Machado
Director: Griffin Dunne
Rating: PG-13
The Pitch: Thurman plays Emma Lloyd, a talk radio
host whose advice to Machado results in the end of her relationship
with Morgan, who then sets about getting revenge.
The Buzz: Buzz? Maybe ten years ago. But when was the
last time a limp rom-com like this made any real money at the box office?
And who takes relationship advice from Uma Thurman, anyway? She married
Ethan Hawke, for Chrissakes.
Trailer Highlight: What?
Bottom Line: Something tells us Thurman may want to
have a talk with her postman -- she seems to be getting Kate Hudson's
scripts by mistake.
Official Site: http://www.theaccidentalhusbandmovie.com/
The
Bank Job (Lionsgate, March 7)
Starring: Jason
Statham, Saffron Burrows, Stephen Campbell Moore, Daniel Mays
Director: Roger Donaldson
Rating: NR
The Pitch: Statham leads a crew of based-on-a-true-story
bandits who tunneled their way into a British bank vault in 1971, then
used certain...um...connections with the royal family to divert attention
away from their headline-stealing exploits.
The Buzz: Statham has made no bones about his desire
to inherit the action-hero throne from Bruce Willis, and even if he
tends to choose shittier scripts than Willis, he's got the chops --
and hell, at least this isn't another "Transporter" sequel.
Trailer Highlight: Looks like "Ocean's Eleven"
with an adorable British accent. Dig it!
Bottom Line: "The Bank Job" is essentially
the only pure action flick being released in March, so if you want your
fast-paced rocks, this is where you're going to get 'em.
Official Site: N/A
Dr.
Seuss' Horton Hears a Who (20th Century Fox, March 14)
Starring: Jim
Carrey, Steve
Carrell, Carol Burnett, Seth Rogen, Will Arnett, Isla
Fisher, Dan Fogler, Amy Poehler, Dane Cook, Jaime
Pressly, Jonah Hill
Director: Jimmy
Hayward, Steve Martino
Rating: NR
The Pitch: Listen, not to be a jerk or anything, but
if you need the setup for "Horton Hears a Who," you might
want to retroactively report your parents to child protective services.
This here is a CGI treatment, with voicework from Carrey (who clearly
no longer feels the sting of "The Grinch") and a whole mess
o' other stars.
The Buzz: The trailer was released a little under a
year before the movie's theatrical debut. You don't know from "buzz"
yet.
Trailer Highlight: Actually, just the fact that it
doesn't totally suck is a highlight; the studios haven't been particularly
kind to Seuss' books in the 21st century, and hopefully this signifies
a change.
Bottom Line: Your children will want to see this. You
might too.
Official Site: http://www.hortonmovie.com/
Never
Back Down (Summit, March 14)
Starring: Sean Faris, Djimon Hounsou, Cam Gigandet, Amber Heard,
Evan Peters, Wyatt Smith
Director: Jeff Wadlow
Rating: NR
The Pitch: Jake Tyler (Faris) is the "new kid
in town" who just happens to come with baggage -- specifically,
his history as a quick-tempered street brawler. He's drawn into a conflict
with a Ray Ban-sporting bully (Gigandet), and by extension, pulled into
the world of Mixed Martial Arts fighting. They will have a climactic
fight...you know the rest.
The Buzz: Kind of like "Karate Kid," only,
you know, much worse, and with a crappy suburban-aggro rock soundtrack
to boot. Where's Joe "Bean" Esposito when you need him?
Trailer Highlight: Wait, did he just say "Win,
lose, it makes no difference -- this is my fight"?
Bottom Line: If you really can't get enough of watching
stunt doubles kick other stunt doubles' asses, you may not be able to
resist this. Otherwise, you'll probably just see it accidentally on
Cinemax sometime after May.
Official Site: http://www.neverbackdownthemovie.com/
Pride
and Glory (New Line, March 14)
Starring: Edward
Norton, Colin
Farrell, Noah Emmerich, Samantha Morton, Lake Bell, Jennifer Ehle,
Jon Voight
Director: Gavin O'Connor
Rating: NR
The Pitch: Norton and Farrell are two members of a
multi-generational family of New York cops whose loyalties to one another
are tested when one of them launches an Internal Affairs investigation
against his older brother and brother-in-law.
The Buzz: The synopsis describes it as "authentic,
gritty, and emotional," but it was co-written by Joe Carnahan,
so, you know, caveat emptor and all. Still, there ain't a thing wrong
with this cast.
Trailer Highlight: Just seeing Norton, Farrell, and
Voight together is cause for excitement. But we were snickering too
loudly after hearing "I was a good man once" to pay attention
to much else.
Bottom Line: We've seen this story played out on the
screen hundreds of times, and we'll be happy to be proven wrong, but
we just don't see Carnahan as the guy who can make us care about it
again.
Official Site: http://www.prideandglorymovie.com/
Inkheart
(New Line, March 19)
Starring: Brendan Fraser, Paul Bettany, Jim Broadbent, Helen
Mirren, Andy Serkis, Rafi Gavron, Sienna Guillory
Director: Iain Softley
Rating: PG
The Pitch: Fraser and Guillory play a father and daughter
with the power to make characters from books come to life simply by
reading the pages aloud -- a power that winds up backfiring when the
villainous Inkheart leaps from his printed confines and into the real
world.
The Buzz: Fraser has committed far too many crimes
against cinema to ever be fully forgiven -- but this still looks like
a pleasant enough diversion, and given that the book it's based on is
only the first installment in a trilogy, it could even be a nice post-"Mummy"
fallback for the actor.
Trailer Highlight: "I love duct tape!"
Bottom Line: Virtually guaranteed to be better than
"George of the Jungle." For whatever that's worth.
Official Site: http://www.inkheartmovie.com/
Drillbit
Taylor (Paramount, March 21)
Starring: Owen
Wilson, Alex Frost, Casey Boersma, Dylan Boersma, Troy Gentile,
Nate Hartley
Director: Steve
Brill
Rating: PG-13
The Pitch: A pack of nerds, sick of being pushed around
by the school bully, hire a man who claims to be a former mercenary
to protect them. Things go (ostensibly hilariously) awry.
The Buzz: It's admittedly difficult to imagine Wilson
as a character capable of getting worked up about much besides scoring
tail or who's making breakfast, but it's a decent premise (anybody remember
"My Bodyguard"?) with plenty of room for humor.
Trailer Highlight: "Sometimes you give a little
Mexican judo. As in, 'Judon't know who you're messing with.'"
Bottom Line: The spring movie season generally isn't
chock-full of wonderful films. "Drillbit Taylor" could prove
to be a worthwhile diversion.
Official Site: http://www.drillbittaylor.com/
Snow
Angels (Warner Independent, March 21)
Starring: Sam Rockwell,
Kate
Beckinsale, Michael Angarano, Griffin Dunne, Amy Sedaris, Olivia
Thirlby
Director: David Gordon Green
Rating: R
The Pitch: Stewart O'Nan's acclaimed novel comes to
the big screen in the form of David Gordon Green's adaptation of "Snow
Angels," in which a pair of stories -- one about a couple confronting
tragedy, the other about a young man struggling with deep-seated personal
problems -- intertwine.
The Buzz: O'Nan isn't a household name, but if enough
critics hop on this movie's bandwagon, that could all change -- and
with a cast that includes Sam Rockwell, Amy Sedaris, and Kate Beckinsale,
we'd lay better-than-even odds on the author moving up a tax bracket
or two this year.
Trailer Highlight: The highlight, really, is the fact
that the trailer doesn't give away every single goddamn plot point in
two and a half minutes. You might even watch it and come away without
understanding what the movie's about, even. Remember when trailers did
that?
Bottom Line: Don't go in expecting tons of yuks, but
this could be one of the first quarter's finest.
Official Site: http://www.snow-angels.com/
21
(Columbia, March 28)
Starring: Kevin Spacey,
Jim Sturgess, Kate
Bosworth, Laurence Fishburne
Director: Robert
Luketic
Rating: PG-13
The Pitch: Spacey plays an unscrupulous professor who
heads up an early '90s incarnation of the infamous MIT Blackjack Team
-- a group of college kids who descend on Vegas and use below-board
methods to rack up big winnings.
The Buzz: It's based on a true story -- Ben Mezrich's
"Bringing Down the House," to be specific -- but in reality,
most of the team's members were Asian males, none of whom looked anything
like Jim Sturgess or Kate Bosworth. Nothing's more Hollywood than fudging
facts, of course, but this could be a troublesome indication of what
Luketic has done with Mezrich's story.
Trailer Highlight: It's (almost) always a pleasure
to see Spacey in action, and Bosworth has never looked so lovely.
Bottom Line: Gambling-themed movies generally tend
to suck knot, but with this cast? Anything can happen.
Official Site: http://www.21-movie.com/
Run,
Fat Boy, Run (Picturehouse, March 28)
Starring: Simon Pegg, Hank Azaria, Ameet Chana, Dylan Moran,
Thandie
Newton, Harish Patel
Director: David Schwimmer
Rating: PG-13
The Pitch: Dennis (Pegg) is a layabout who still pines
for the woman he left at the altar (Newton). When she takes up with
another man (Azaria), he decidees to run a marathon to show her how
badly he wants her back.
The Buzz: This thing has been in the pipeline for awhile
now, and were it not for the talent involved (Michael Ian Black cowrote
the script with Pegg), it might be tempting to crack a few jokes at
Schwimmer's expense and wait for it to land at DVD. The funniest thing
of all, though? It doesn't look bad.
Trailer Highlight: "You left her at the altar
when she was pregnant. Women remember that stuff."
Bottom Line: Fans of Pegg's better-known work (including
"Hot Fuzz") may be disappointed in the relatively sedate humor
on display here, but they'll get over it.
Official Site: N/A
Stop-Loss
(Paramount, March 28)
Starring: Ryan Phillippe,
Abbie Cornish, Channing Tatum, Joseph Gordon-Levitt, Ciarán Hinds, Timothy
Olyphant, Victor Rasuk, Rob Brown
Director: Kimberly
Peirce
Rating: R
The Pitch: A decorated veteran of the Iraq war (Phillippe)
comes home following his tour of duty, only to discover that he's being
ordered back to the front...so he decides that maybe he'll be done with
the Army before they're done with him.
The Buzz: Most of the buzz surrounding "Stop-Loss"
has had nothing to do with the film itself; an affair between Phillippe
and Cornish has long been rumored to be the catalyst for his divorce
from Reese Witherspoon. That, and the fact that this movie's been in
the can for awhile, don't exactly bode well for its commercial prospects.
Trailer Highlight: Phillippe will have a pouty baby
face until he's well into his 80s, but Gordon-Levitt looks like a changed
man -- and as he's already proven, he knows how to pick a script.
Bottom Line: Thus far, movies about the Iraq war have
proven to be box-office poison. We don't see that trend changing here,
no matter how many rumors swirl regarding Phillippe and Cornish's canoodling.
Official Site: http://www.stoplossmovie.com/
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