Most people have heard the statistic that half of all marriages in the United States end in divorce. The truth is that number is closer to around 40 percent, and the divorce rate in America has been declining overall since the 1980s. However, just because divorce is less common now than it was 40 years ago does not mean that it does not still happen more often than most engaged couples would like to admit.
Divorce is an incredibly difficult and stressful experience to go through, especially when it involves custody battles or the division of property and other financial assets. Here are some red flags to look out for in a partner before you even get married that could potentially save you from a nasty divorce down the line.
If your partner likes to have a few drinks every night after getting home from work or enjoys betting on poker games with his friends on the weekends, it can be easy to write those behaviors off as normal. But if he or she begins to display other warning signs such as behaving secretively, borrowing money from you or others, or missing work, this could be an indicator that your partner is struggling with a more serious problem.
Addiction—whether to alcohol, drugs, gambling, pornography, or even shopping—can wreak havoc on marriages and tear families apart. The betrayal that comes with deceptive and secretive behavior, combined with the financial turmoil that addiction often causes, are enough to make the already difficult divorce process even more heartbreaking.
Issues with Exes
No one wants to be with someone whose ex is still in the picture. But even if your partner swears that they don’t have feelings for their ex anymore, there are still a variety of red flags relating to exes that you should look out for.
Many divorce attorneys cite people who have been divorced multiple times, people who blame their exes for all their past breakups, describe all their exes as “crazy,” or people who don’t reveal that they are still technically married as examples of people you probably should not marry.
Lack of Respect
It sounds simple, but another pre-marriage red flag that often gets overlooked compared to more dramatic relationship deal breakers such as drug addiction or infidelity, is a partner who disrespects you or is downright mean. To make a marriage (or any relationship) work, you and your partner not only need to love and care for each other, but there also needs to be a sense of mutual respect. Your partner can exhibit disrespect towards you in an endless number of ways, including the following:
● Being overly critical of you, even if they claim to be joking
● Emotional infidelity, such as flirting with others through texting or social media
● Showing disinterest or derision towards your occupation, hobbies, or passions
● Not respecting your boundaries; getting angry if you want to spend time alone or with friends and family away from your partner
● Exhibiting controlling or abusive behavior
These are, of course, not the only red flags to look out for before you get married. But if your partner shows any of the above warning signs, it can be a good indicator that a marriage with that person would likely end in divorce.
Your gut feelings of concern or discomfort about your partner, or the opinions of trusted friends and family members, are also very important to take into consideration when you are questioning the future of a relationship. Save yourself the time, financial cost, and emotional anguish of a divorce if possible. But if you already find yourself in a troubled marriage, a Rancho Cucamonga divorce lawyer can help.