How to avoid the expensive jewelry trap in your relationship


woman wearing jewelry

Most women love jewelry. Of course, there are exceptions, and jewelry may be less important these days as our fashion tastes become less formal and more casual, but many women still love wearing rings, earrings, necklaces and bracelets with diamonds and gold.

Often, this doesn’t present a problem, unless you’re dating a woman who loves expensive jewelry . . . particularly from the elite brands that are rarely discounted. In that case, you better make sure her expectations align with your finances and budget. If you can easily afford the expensive stuff then you don’t have to sweat it. But if not, do you really want to be working hard just to fund your partner’s jewelry obsession?

If you’re facing this dilemma, it’s important to think through how to handle it. You don’t want to disappoint her with every birthday or holiday gift that doesn’t meet her expensive tastes, and you certainly don’t want to address this in the heat of the moment when you’re frustrated by her expectations. Blurting out the wrong thing can cause so many other problems.

Why do women like jewelry made of diamonds and gold?

Before thinking of how to address this problem, consider the many reasons why women typically value jewelry, and then see which of these apply to your partner.


Many women simply find stylish jewelry visually appealing. Wearing something that looks beautiful can make a person feel good about themselves. Diamonds and gold look amazing, so jewelry is the perfect accessory. It’s also a way to express one’s sense of style.


Jewelry can also hold sentimental value for women, particularly if it is given to them by a loved one. The sentimental value of the piece can outweigh its material value. Most women have pieces of jewelry that they treasure based on the story behind it.


For some women, wearing jewelry made of diamonds or gold can symbolize their status or wealth. These materials are often associated with luxury, success, and achievement, and wearing them can make a person feel powerful or important. Many women measure themselves against other women based on the value of the jewelry they’re wearing. This is particularly true in older cultures, but it’s still true even today. She wants to feel special, and jewelry can provide that feeling.

In this case, sometimes the brand is even more important than the jewelry itself. One friend bought an expensive diamond necklace for his girlfriend, but she was disappointed because it wasn’t from a major brand.

How to avoid buying expensive jewelry without upsetting her

There are several ways that a man can avoid buying expensive jewelry for his wife or girlfriend without upsetting her:


The most effective way to avoid upsetting your partner is to have an open and honest conversation about your financial situation and expectations. Let her know that you value her and want to make her happy but that you have financial constraints.

If your partner is more motivated by aesthetics and sentimentality, then you’ll likely have fewer problems setting realistic expectations. For them, a less expensive piece of jewelry can mean more to them for a wide variety of reasons.

If she’s more motivated by status, then this conversation may be much more difficult. Still, it’s important to be honest and communicate your thoughts.

Consider alternatives

Focus on quality, not quantity: Instead of buying expensive jewelry, focus on buying a piece that is of high quality and has sentimental value. For example, a piece of jewelry that has your partner’s birthstone or a special engraving can be just as meaningful as a more expensive piece. Also, even the best brands have less expensive items, so browse and find something more affordable that she might like.

There are many alternatives to expensive jewelry that can be just as meaningful and special. Put the time into finding something unique. Ask her family and friends. She’ll appreciate the effort.

Set a budget

The two of you can set a budget for gift-giving occasions. This can help you avoid overspending and the stress of financial strain. Just make sure you both stick to it!

Don’t set a bad precedent

It’s important in any relationship to get off on the right foot from the beginning. If you start your relationship by buying expensive gifts, then that becomes the expectation. Rather, if you buy a thoughtful gift instead, then you’re conveying a better and completely different message. In many ways, buying expensive jewelry is the lazy approach as opposed to paying attention to her and finding something she would really like but wouldn’t buy for herself.

Remember, the most important thing is to communicate with your partner and prioritize your relationship over expensive, material possessions.

That said, there is such a thing as a special occasion, and if you ever do spring for something expensive, she’ll appreciate it even more.

Find out if you’re compatible

You can learn a lot about your partner by communicating about these things and seeing how she reacts. Is she mature about it? Does she understand your position? Or will she be judging you by how much you’re spending on jewelry?

If she places too much value on these shiny objects, she may not be the best fit for you if you’re practical with how you spend money.

We created a YouTube video based on this article. Check it out and leave any comments or questions you may have!


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