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Curb Your Enthusiasm 7.10 -- Seinfeld (season finale)

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I wonder what it would have been like to watch this finale with someone unfamiliar with “Curb Your Enthusiasm.” Even if this person had seen an episode or two of “Seinfeld,” they surely wouldn’t have gotten though this block of television without walking out of the room. There’s too much going on for the casual viewer -- too many ideas, too many risks, too many inside jokes. Last night’s episode was a love note specifically to the fans of the two shows. Of course, there are millions out there.

I’ve been having trouble gathering my thoughts on the finale. Given the lush layers of meta-comedy, it's been tough developing a succinct piece. Rather than break down last night’s plot or provide a critique, I want to answer the simple question that other reviewers have posed -- a question you might be pondering as well: Will there be another season of “Curb?”

Yes, there has to be, and all the evidence was provided last night. In 2007, Larry David and his wife filed for divorce, citing “irreconcilable differences.” (When I get my divorce, that is what the documents will say.) David took two years off between Seasons 6 and 7 to get his ducks in order. In that time, he began piecing together what would become the story arc for Season 7: Larry tries to win Cheryl back by casting her in a “Seinfeld” reunion. It’s the perfect plan for Larry David’s character and the perfect incentive for fans of “Seinfeld” to give “Curb” a chance.

To be honest, I think the past two seasons of “Curb” are the best in its run. I watched an episode the other day from Season 2 and, while funny, it doesn’t hold a candle to those from 6 or 7. Larry David has mastered playing this slanted version of himself. Go take a look at his performances in the earlier seasons – he hasn’t figured “himself” out yet. When you examine all the levels on which Season 7 operates, it’s really impressive. Larry David the actor as Larry David the character playing George Costanza the character will go down as one of the most convoluted, yet brilliant moments in television. Reading about this stuff isn’t fair to the episode -- just watch it, laugh, and recognize the years and years it took for this comedy to materialize. It’s astonishingly unique.

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But why will there be a Season 8?

I know it’s been said before, but “Curb Your Enthusiasm” is Larry’s life. The show is ultimately constructed from the content in the notepad Larry carries around everywhere he goes. After Larry went through his divorce, it’s no surprise that the next season of his TV show dealt with that issue. Do I think Larry intended to win his actual ex-wife back by having “Curb’s” Larry and Cheryl re-unite in a near tear-jerking scene? No, I don’t. But since Larry David’s life, quite literally, belongs in television, it's not all that weird that he would simultaneously mock the medium. In the show, Jerry Seinfeld points out that reunions are lame -- fans want everything to work out wonderfully, with plenty of schmaltz and all the loose ends perfectly tied. Thankfully, this season's finale will simply please fans of "Curb" -- not fans of traditional television.

What else is a wealthy observational comedian supposed to do with his time? Not work? As Larry shamelessly admits in this season’s episodes, his life implodes when he has nothing to do.

We’ll get another season when Larry gets sick of being Larry. From what I understand, that shouldn’t be too long.

Curb Your Enthusiasm 7.9 -- The Table Read

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Larry David doesn’t care about transcending the real world for the sake of perverse comedy. (Note: I said perverse comedy. Larry is reaching into more unsavory realms this season.) Since the show is filmed like a home video and the characters speak like you and I, we as an audience often attempt to relate to the plots. Nevertheless, as much as we push to find the realism in “Curb Your Enthusiasm” -- as close as we get to thinking, I would do the same thing! -- Larry can effortlessly shatter the correlation.

So, when Larry’s casting director casually informs him that her daughter has “a rash on her pussy,” we know we’re visiting another universe. As the episode carries on, Larry repeatedly receives text message from Emma, the little girl. Try as he may to end the correspondence, Larry is deterred by her persistence and cuteness. When Larry visits his doctor (because of a rash he likely got from Emma), we fully appreciate our view from home.

Doctor: Well, do you have any idea how you may have gotten this rash?
Larry: I’ve been seeing this nine year-old girl and she kinda has a rash on her pussy. Uh, I took her to lunch the other day and we had a fight. We made up and we hugged. It’s gotta be her.
(Larry receives a text.)
Larry: Yeah, that’s her now.
Doctor: Her.
Larry: She’s so cute. We text all the time. For a while we weren’t but we’re back on now, so…

The doctor tells his assistant to call the police. Larry's performance in the doctor’s office was perfect and will go down as one of my favorite scenes from “Curb.” His maniacal laughter at the end over the closing credits is priceless.

Thankfully, this episode of “Curb” finally gets the “Seinfeld” reunion off the ground. We watch as the cast rehearses the fictional reunion. This was a true joy as the script actually sounded really funny. Of course, there are some problems on the set -- problems similar to the ones the real Larry David probably encountered while shooting his old show. Julia Louis-Dreyfus and Jason Alexander immediately question Cheryl’s acting credentials; Marty Funkhauser shows up uninvited and tells Jerry a filthy joke; during the table read, Jason Alexander molests a pen he borrowed from Larry. This all happens in the opening scene and unravels at a comfortable pace over the next 36 minutes. Yes, this episode is quite a bit longer than most. Since “The Table Read” is so focused on the construction of the reunion, the weaker storylines are excusable. This serves as a reminder that “Curb Your Enthusiasm” is indeed a show about Larry David. Thus, his disagreements with the maitre d’ and Emma were vital.

I’ve previously pointed out that Larry is in practically every scene from “Curb Your Enthusiasm.” I closely examine those rare instances when he’s absent as the show briefly takes a detour from Larry’s brilliantly preculiar point of view. Although the scenes feel unhinged without his presence, they’re a breath of fresh air. With that in mind, Michael Richards and Leon deserve a bulk of the credit for making “The Table Read” a great episode.

We suspected Larry David would incorporate Richards’ mistake from three years ago, when Richards insulted an African American heckler during his comedy routine. I don’t know why I never thought Leon would get involved.

But I’m happy he did as the results were hysterical. In the opening scene, Michael tells Larry that he’s contracted the fictional Groat’s Disease. He’s worried that it will affect his performance. In response, Larry tries to set up a meeting with an accountant named Danny Duberstein, a longtime Groat's Disease sufferer. Unfortunately, Duberstein has died from Groat’s, so Larry looks to Leon for help. He wants Leon to visit Michael and pretend to be Duberstein.

Later in the episode, Leon, dressed more like Louis Farrakhan from the Nation of Islam than a Jewish accountant, manages to convince Michael that he’ll be fine. It doesn’t take too long for Michael to discover that Leon is full of crap. Confronting Leon, Michael has every right to be angry, but he stops short of using any harsh insults because of his past. As various onlookers remove their cell phones to capture a potential meltdown, Michael departs in a frenzy.

Shortly after Michael Richards' real-life scandal, he apologized on “Letterman” and spent weeks groveling in front of the African American community. That’s all but forgotten now and I don’t really know how people currently feel about this talented actor. Nevertheless, last night’s episode of “Curb” gave audiences a glimpse at the repercussions of Richards’ outburst. He can never screw up again and must always be on his toes. Isn’t that punishment enough? Given his willingness to skewer his own troublesome past on “Curb,” he’s obviously moving in the right direction. He has Larry David to thank for that.


Curb Your Enthusiasm 7.8 -- Officer Krupke

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They are really turning Jeff into a jerk. In the season premiere, Jeff slept with a mental patient named Bam Bam, played by Catherine O'Hara. Jeff has also alluded to other instances of cheating, indicating that he has probably been unhappy in his marriage with Susie for quite some time. "Officer Krupke" begins with Susie finding another woman's panties in Jeff's glove compartment. Understandably, she freaks out. "Curb" has toyed with this divorce angle for all of Season 7. I'm not sure whether Larry David is just using Jeff's infidelity to create one-off story lines or if he plans to take his marital problems to a different level. I could see Jeff, Larry, and Leon all living together in Season 8 (if we even get another season). Also, this scene with Susie is one of the rare occasions when Larry isn't on camera. As I've stated before, he is typically in every scene from an episode.

Larry is pants shopping at Banana Republic. Sounds boring, but these are the types of situations that Larry David weaves into comedy gold. While he's trying on a new pair of slacks, the fire alarm goes off and everybody has to exit the building. Outside, he strikes up a conversation with a police officer with the last name of Krupke. Larry asks him if he's ever seen "West Side Story," as there's a character with the same name. Larry sings a snippet from one of the songs: "Oh, Officer Krupke/What are we to do?/Gee, Officer Krupke/Krup you." This Officer Krupke isn't familiar.

Larry doesn't want to wait two hours until the building is safe, so he makes his way to Jeff's place. He's still wearing the new slacks -- which he never bought -- and the tags dangling from the sides. Jeff runs out to stop Larry and inform him about the panties situation. Jeff has a completely ridiculous plan. He's told Susie that those were Larry panties, saying that Larry finds them very comfortable. Larry is obviously stunned, but he's willing to help out his idiotic manager and friend.

Inside the house, Larry greets Virginia and Dennis, some mutual friends. As they chat, Susie eyes Larry's backside, trying to spot any peculiar movements. Larry doesn't want to listen to the story of how Virginia and Dennis met, so he takes a walk down the block. He stops at a children's lemonade stand a buys a glass. After reprimanding the children for the awful-tasting beverage, the kids yell at him to leave. He returns to the Greenes' house where Susie blatantly inspects his crotch region. The mother of one of the children shows up and scolds Larry.

We cut to Cheryl waiting to audition for the role of George's ex-wife in the "Seinfeld" reunion. Virginia enters the room and Cheryl is surprised to see one of her friends. Virginia is auditioning for the part as well. Despite the awkwardness, they agree to meet for lunch after they both have read for the part.

Turns out, Cheryl David is a pretty good actress. Jerry Seinfeld, Mark the casting director, and Larry (obviously) are all impressed. Unfortunately, Virginia is even better. After some dissent from Larry, they agree to give Virginia the part.

Larry returns to Banana Republic to both retrieve his pants that he left in store during the fire and pay for ones that he's currently wearing. The salesman that helped Larry earlier informs Larry that the pants are missing. Larry thinks that, since the store lost his pants, he should be able to keep the pair for free that he was going to buy. I think that's a fair exchange. The salesman doesn't. Larry has had enough. He trudges through the exit as his pants beep loudly.

Cheryl is conveniently sitting outside of Banana Republic. Larry lets her know that the show is going with Virginia. Cheryl is disheartened, but happy for her friend. She tells Larry about her lunch with Virginia and Dennis. After a few glasses of wine, Dennis asked Cheryl if she would like to participate in a threesome with him and Virginia. We never find out her answer, but Larry still takes offense at the mere proposal. He marches down to Dennis' office and accomplishes nothing.

Back at the Greenes' place, Jeff and Larry discuss the panties situation. Jeff wants Larry to stop making so many effeminate movements because it's just making Susie even more suspicious. He also tells Larry that Virginia hurt her neck and can't do the part. Therefore, Cheryl has it. Larry is excited, but wants to find out how Virginia was injured. Was she in a car accident or did she go down on Cheryl in a threesome? Larry and Jeff go to check Virginia's car. It's undamaged.

Larry meets Cheryl for lunch to deliver the news. Obviously, she wants to know why Virginia backed out. Larry poses the idea to Cheryl that Virginia hurt her neck while going down on her. Repulsed, she leaves. Larry then gets a frantic call from Jeff. Susie is going to divorce him and he needs Larry's help.

On his way over to rescue his friend, Larry drives by the the lemonade stand. He's signing that song from "West Side Story." Right when he passes by the kids and their mother he belts, "Gee, Officer Krupke, Krup you!"

At the Greenes' house, Susie confirms that Virginia hurt neck in a car accident -- she was driving Dennis' car. Officer Krupke shows up, responding to a call from the mother by the lemonade stand. She said Larry cursed at them. While Larry is defending himself, Officer Krupke notices the security tag on Larry's pants. (Apparently, he's been wearing the same pants the entire episode.) Krupke doesn't buy into Larry's idea of a fair exchange, so he wants the pants. Larry, sensing an opportunity to get Jeff out of deep water, removes his pants in front of everyone. Guess what he has on underneath?

Susie: Oh my God. Jesus Christ. Who are you?
Larry: I'm Larry David. I happen to enjoy wearing women's panties.

Ha! Perfect!

But why, oh why, did they include that final scene? Jeff is at Larry's door and he's in a neck brace. He needs Larry to tell Susie he was in a car accident. Too much?

I hope this evolves into a bigger story arc for Jeff and Susie. If not, all this time focusing on Jeff's infidelity was kind of a waste.


Curb Your Enthusiasm 7.7 -- The Black Swan

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Over the years, Larry has done some pretty heinous things to other people, but "The Black Swan" takes his antagonism a whole a new level. With his selfish behavior, Larry manages to create at least five new enemies per episode. In the real world, Larry would be a full-fledged sociopath, but life in "Curb Your Enthusiasm" is a bit more forgiving. Still, I can't recall an episode where Larry indirectly killed anyone. In "The Black Swan," our imperfect Larry has his hand in not one, but two deaths.

Fans have expressed disappointment with this season, saying recent episodes are too absurd. While I think absurdity sometimes comes off as lazy, it works for "Curb." The ending of "The Bare Midriff" was completely unexpected, which was welcoming. That said, "The Black Swan" is a throwback to "Curb's" early seasons. The story lines toy with legitimate social norms. That's always been Larry's forte, but he also manages to keep everything grounded in "The Black Swan" without going over the top.

While visiting his mother's grave with his father and cousin, Larry finds the "passed away" spelt as "past away." Apparently, his father didn't want to pay the extra 100 bucks for the other letters. Larry, for all his misgivings, does seem to adore his family. He wants to hire a stonemason to have it fixed.

Down the street, Larry and his cousin, Andy, meet Jeff and Funkhouser at the country club. Larry instructs his table to order quickly because the slowest players have just sat down for breakfast. Larry doesn't want to be stuck behind Norm and his group on the course. Everyone agrees, except Andy, who wants crispy onions. In the midst of some arguing, Larry gets a call from his father, causing everybody to stare. Mr. Takahashi, the owner, informs Larry that cell phones aren't allowed in the clubhouse. He gives Larry a final warning.

While Andy is still working on his onions, Norm's table gets up to play. Funkhouser gives Andy some grief and I think it's the first time he's ever cursed on this show. When the waiter drops off the bill, the audience knows Larry is going to take issue with something. This is third episode this season where tipping is used as a plot device. In "The Black Swan," Larry doesn't want to acknowledge the additional tip when an 18 percent tip is already included. The waiter doesn't understand. I do. We all do.

On the course, Norm is taking forever. Larry tells him to move it along and they get into an argument. Andy just had to order those onions.

In the locker room, a member of Norm's group confronts Larry. Norm has died, supposedly because of his argument with Larry. Norm had high blood pressure and his confrontation with Larry was all too much.

Larry: It's not my fault that he had a heart attack.
Friend: Did you even know him?
Larry: Somewhat.
Friend: Did you even like him -- at all?
Larry: No, I thought he was a prick.

Back at Larry's house, he, his dad, and Andy and his wife are having dinner. Larry wants to put Andy and Cassie's daughter through college. They are floored. Larry receives a call from the stone mason. The conversation starts out pleasant but soon becomes an argument over the validity of Yankee shortstop Derek Jeter's career. For the record, Jeter deserves all the praise. Larry was right.

The next day, the golf course is empty out of respect for Norm's passing. Larry and the others, however, use it as opportunity to get in a round. On the 12th hole, the site of Norm's death, Larry shanks a shot. It lands down by the pond where the swans live, including Mr. Takahashi's prized black swan, Kyoko. While setting up his next shot, Kyoko flies at Larry like a dart. Scared out of his wits, Larry murders the swan with one of his irons. The group decides to bury the bird.

While discussing the killing in the dining room, Jeff notices two gardeners wheeling something covered down a path. Mr. Takahashi walks up to the barrel and finds the dead body of Kyoko. Within a minute, an attendant tells the table to go to Mr. Takahashi's office.

In what is the funniest scene of the episode, Takahashi grills each member of Larry's group. Surprisingly, nobody lets the cat out of the bag.

Unfortunately, Andy spilled the beans to his wife. After Larry refuses to pay for her to attend cosmetology school, she calls him out for being a "swan killer." In turn, he threatens to destroy her hats (Cassie designs stupid cowboy hats) if she spreads this information. This was the scene that didn't really work for me. Larry had already agreed to pay for their daughter's college. Nobody would ask the same person for a nice and expensive gesture days after that person already paid them a very nice and expensive gesture. Honestly, some of the people in the world of "Curb" are worse than Larry.

Despite the accusations of "murder," Larry attends Norm's wake. He runs into Funkhouser and they begin to talk about each other's parents. Larry doesn't believe you should have to introduce everyone to everyone under certain circumstances, so Funkhouser leaves the person standing next to him out of their conversation. That person happens to be Ed, the stonemason. As Larry recounts his conversation with the stonemason about Derek Jeter, Ed hears Larry call him a "moron" and an "asshole." Not good.

Larry shows Funkhouser a frantic email Jeff has sent him. Jeff wants to come clean about the whole swan deal. Everybody takes their seats as the wake begins. Larry's cell phone immediately disrupts the proceedings, causing ire in Mr. Takahashi. Not wanting to get caught, Larry tosses his cell phone aside.

Larry's cell phone is later returned by the waiter from earlier. He compliments Larry's Blackberry, particularly the way one can easily scroll through emails. Larry thinks the waiter saw what Jeff wrote. Thus, at their next meal in the clubhouse, Larry gives the waiter a $500 additional tip as a way of saying "keep your mouth shut."

At Norm's burial, Mr. Takahashi compliments Larry on giving the waiter such a large tip. Takahashi has come to the conclusion that someone so "generous" would never kill his beloved black swan. Putting the past behind them, they begin to chat like old friends. Larry still needs to check out his mother's redone headstone, so Takahashi accompanies him since the clubhouse is right down the road.

The stonemason is just finishing up when they reach the gravesite. He's wearing one of Cassie's silly hats. The bottom of the headstone reads: Mother of Larry, an asshole and swan killer.

Cassie told.


Curb Your Enthusiasm 7.6 -- The Bare Midriff

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I've seen every second of "Curb Your Enthusiasm" and I can easily say that this was the most ridiculous episode yet. I don't mean "ridiculous" as in "stupid," but as in "incredibly zany." During the filming of "The Bare Midriff," I'm sure the cast and crew thought to themselves, This is too bizarre -- even for us.

"Curb" has always wrapped up its seasons after 10 episodes, so we expected this one to tap back into the "Seinfeld" reunion. Larry only has five more episodes to destroy everything in sight.

Larry's still trying to win Cheryl back, and part of the plan involves casting her as George's ex-wife. As luck would have it, Meg Ryan has dropped out due to scheduling conflicts. Larry suggests using Cheryl, but Jerry isn't too keen on the idea. He wants her to read for the part.

In walks their young secretary, who's tiny shirt exposes her bare, flabby midriff. While fixing a tricky air vent, her paunch seems even more inappropriate. It's decided that Larry needs to tell her to cover up. He does, but manages to completely offend her in the process, so she quits.

The two friends leave to meet Richard Lewis for lunch. After Jerry is cut off while driving, he gives the other driver a gentle honk. Bad idea. The guy get out of his car and rips into Seinfeld.

Over at the restaurant, Lewis shows up after Jerry and Larry have already finished eating. Lewis still wants to order, but his friends are in the midst of an inane discussion about who should have to move over to make room. Lewis gets fed up and leaves. Nobody wants to be around these jokesters.

After an awkward encounter with Cheryl outside the studio, Larry has to face an upset Julia Louis-Dreyfuss. The girl who quit, Maureen, is the daughter of one of Julia's past nannies. The woman has suffered some kind of breakdown and doesn't need the added stress. Ever the peacemaker, Larry goes to set things right. Maureen agrees to come back to work, even though they don't resolve the issue of the flab. Maureen's mother soon returns from the market and nearly faints when she notices Larry. She thinks he looks exactly like her first husband who, in fact, was murdered on their honeymoon after honking at the wrong driver. (Wasn't Jerry lucky?) Larry inspects an old photo of the guy and isn't convinced: Not all bald men look alike. He excuses himself to the bathroom. Due to a new pill, his urine stream is uncontrollable and liquid is splashing everywhere. One sneaky drop even manages to land on a portrait of Jesus, just under an eyelash. Larry senses disaster.

Richard Lewis calls Larry to sound off about the restaurant catastrophe. He had wanted to give Larry a signed bat from Joe DiMaggio. While exchanging some final pleasantries, Larry loses his cell phone connection. Lewis expects a call back, but Larry doesn't think it's necessary. I wouldn't call back. Guys don't need to hear the "goodbye." I'd be fine if everyone finished their conversations by saying, "end."

Sure enough, Maureen and her mother interpret the wet portrait of Jesus as a miracle. Maureen informs Jerry and Larry that she is quitting in order to devote her life to Jesus. Larry knows what's up: I think every erection is a miracle.

At a local Italian restaurant, Larry orders a sandwich and jams a bunch of napkins into the to-go bag. The owner limits all his customers to two napkins and instructs Larry to return the extras. When the owner's back is turned, Larry takes them anyway. Unfortunately, he's pulled over by a cop who had heard of the "theft." Larry is taken to the police station and is forced to stand in a line-up. Apparently, all bald men do look alike as the owner can't distinguish Larry from another bald man, who is African American.

Larry is late in meeting up with Maureen and her mother. He was supposed to co-sign on the RV papers so they could travel across the country on their religious mission. Maureen's mother has let him drive her deceased husband's car. On the road, Larry notices Richard, and honks at him to pull over. Naturally, she starts to panic. When Richard takes out the DiMaggio bat -- his gift to Larry -- she rams him with the car. Don't worry, Richard is fine.

It is the final scene which is bit too wacky for my taste. Larry can't get back into the studio to use the bathroom, so he is forced to pee outside. When Maureen and her mom show up to grab some things from the office, they instantly hear the strange noise. They follow the sound and discover Larry hosing down a bush. A wayward drop smacks Maureen in the face and it's a thing of beauty. The family quickly realizes what happened with the Jesus portrait. Of course, Larry pissed on Jesus.

The unstable mother can't take it. She somehow gets on the roof and walks to the ledge. Larry and Maureen also scale the building, despite their physical misgivings. Larry saves the mother, but loses his balance in the process. He fumbles over the side of the building, but latches onto something. It's Maureen's stomach.

Curb Your Enthusiasm 7.5 -- Denise Handicapped

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So far, this has been the funniest episode of the new season. All the actors were great, the story lines were solid, and the ideas behind the jokes were eerily funny. I've been entertained by this season's previous episodes, but I’ve always managed to take issue with a plot point. “Denise Handicapped” had none of these cracks.

At a local coffee shop, Larry meets an attractive woman named Denise and they begin conversing over their mutual adoration of the violinist, Chi-Yun. Larry is attending a party were she is performing and they agree to see each other before then. Denise glides away from the table, revealing her disability. She’s in a wheelchair; Larry is in a pickle.

While out to lunch with Jeff and Rosie O’Donnell, Larry tries to pay for the meal. It looks like we have another check dispute on our hands. Unlike the verbal exchange with Jason Alexander, Rosie and Larry get physical. The scene ends with Rosie manhandling Larry’s feeble frame.

Naturally, Larry and Denise’s first date doesn’t go so well. After carrying her up a flight of stairs, their dinner conversation is awkward at best. Still, Denise invites Larry back up to her apartment later in the night. Backed into a corner, Larry accepts. When they begin getting intimate, Larry is at an absolute loss. He fumbles around like a blind basketball player while she remains completely stationary. They gradually make their way to the bedroom where Larry once again aims to please. Denise is unsatisfied throughout his whole performance, leaving Larry suspicious. Does she feel nothing because she’s disabled from the waist down, or because Larry is awful in bed? This is a classic “Curb” dilemma.

Back at his house, Larry picks up a message from the couple that is hosting the Chi-Yun concert. They don’t want Larry to come because of the unsavory comments he made about their adopted Chinese baby. Now that he can’t go to the performance, there’s no reason to continue seeing Denise. He seeks advice from the almighty Leon:

Leon: You did your dizzle on her, right?
Larry: Yeah, I did my dizzle.
Leon: That means you did your f'in thing. Bring the f'in ruckus to that ass, Larry.
Larry: Oh, I suppose you think you could've gotten a response?
Leon: You God damn right, Larry.
Larry: Bullsh*t.
Leon: I would've had that ass tap dancing, Larry. I don't f*ck around. Give me her God damn number. I'll go over there and twist that ass up, Larry. I'd bang that b*tch like Beckham.

Larry takes Denise to a nice restaurant in order to break up with her. However, his motives quickly change as he realizes the perks of dating a handicapped individual. They score a great parking spot and receive preferential treatment during their entire meal. On their “stroll and roll” after eating, they bump into the couple that disinvited them to the concert. Noticing Larry’s contrived sense of good character, they rescind their actions. Larry could get used to this.

Later in the episode, Larry, Jeff, and Suzie try to enjoy a day at the beach. When Suzie forces Jeff to go on a romantic walk, she asks Larry to look after their daughter, Sammy, who is playing in the ocean. At the drop of dime, Sammy begins to drown. Larry, ever the hero, begins his rescue mission. However, before saving the girl, he repeatedly tries to make sure his Blackberry is shielded from harm. By the time Larry is ready, Jeff has already retrieved his daughter. Suzie can immediately sense what really transpired. She heaves Larry’s Blackberry into the ocean, causing him to lose Denise’s number.

Larry and Leon decide to search for Denise’s house. Of course, it’s a fruitless task. Leon soon spots another woman in a wheelchair making her way down the sidewalk. Larry assumes that she must know Denise because they both, ahem, use a wheelchair. The woman, Wendy, is offended at first, but eventually warms up to Larry’s ridiculousness. Wendy also enjoys Chi-Yun, so Larry idiotically invites her to the concert.

The final scene is an outright catastrophe. Even though Larry never contacted her, Denise decided to attend. Wendy and Denise eventually meet and are naturally infuriated with Larry. The episode closes with Larry fleeing his two dates and Rosie O’Donnell. As with "The Hot Towel," this episode ends with Larry facing an eventual bludgeoning.

We haven’t seen the cast of “Seinfeld” for some time now, but they’ll be back next week.


Curb Your Enthusiasm 7.4 -- The Hot Towel

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Before I begin, I want to say something about Larry David's acting. I think it's wonderfully bad. The beauty about working on a show like "Curb Your Enthusiasm" is that Larry gets to play a tweaked version of himself. As a sort of wink and nod to viewers, it seems as if he tries to overact at times. "Curb Your Enthusiasm" may come off as realistic, but it's still a show on television with professional actors.

In the opening scene, Larry is on flight. We have no idea where he's off to, which is unusual as the viewer is usually privy to everything in Larry's life. Still, the scene isn't squandered. The guy he's sitting next to is wearing shorts and Larry voices his disgust over having to look the man's legs. While complaining, a stewardess offers Larry the titular hot towel, which burns him.

He's later treated at his doctor's office. The doctor, at first cordial, gives Larry a restaurant recommendation. Larry should be on his way, but he asks the doctor for his home phone number, which would strictly be used in case of emergency. The doctor balks at the request but soon gives in, telling Larry to get all the information from his receptionist. While leaving, Larry bumps into an old girlfriend, Mary Jane Porter, who surprisingly asks Larry out on a date.

At Ted Danson and wife Mary's anniversary party, Larry gives them an expensive gift certificate to the restaurant. The couple is impressed since (and regular viewers will remember) Larry's present last year was "the freak book."

Over at the h'orderves table, Larry notices Mary Jane's friend Christian Slater, who is devouring all the caviar. Larry later blows the whistle on him to Ted Danson's wife. The party comes to an abrupt halt when Suzie Green announces that, instead of a tangible gift, her daughter Sammy will sing to the Dansons. It's quickly obvious that Sammy is a terrible singer and Larry shuts her down, infuriating Suzie.

On their date, Mary Jane points out the Dansons and the Greens eating at a table. Larry confronts them, irritated that the Dansons would take the Greens over himself, considering he got them the gift. Of course, nobody agrees with Larry and they get into the subject of Larry's issues with people singing in public. When the resident restaurant singer begins his routine, Suzie gives Larry the eye. She wants him to treat this man the same way he treated her daughter. Larry senses the dilemma and, in the most cringe-inducing scene of the episode, he tells the singer to "lock it up."

Back at Mary Jane's place, Larry is making some headway. He attempts to undo her bra while fooling around, but his burnt hand impedes his progress. He promptly dumps his bandage into the trash can. Mary Jane's boyfriend calls, catching Larry off guard. Larry tries to keep quiet but he gags on the horrible pie she's made, loud enough for the neighbors to hear. The boyfriend is on his way, so Larry bolts.

Larry needs to get his hand treated once again. Whenthe doctor instructs Larry to leave the hand unwrapped, Larry stops him. He can't trust a doctor that would recommend a restaurant with such horrible food. Larry wants it bandaged. The doctor abrasively complies. To make matters worse, Larry compliments the doctor about this house as they apparently live down the street from one another. The office receptionist has given Larry too much information.

Later that night, Larry is exercising on a stationary bike at home. He gets a call from Mary Jane, who tells him that her boyfriend is coming over in a rage. Larry flees, seeking solace at both his doctor's and the Dansons' houses. Because of his prior actions, he's denied sanctuary. Luckily, the Greens show some pity. Still, Larry can screw up any situation. In the morning, Sammy is practicing singing, which prematurely wakes Larry from his slumber. Larry instinctively tells her to "shut the F up." Without missing a beat, Suzie kicks him out of the house.

Larry's so far managed to offend more people in the episode than usual. Attempting to make amends, he apologizes to the opera singer back at the restaurant. Mary Jane just happens to be there and she warns Larry that her boyfriend is in the bathroom as they are on a date with Christian Slater and his girlfriend. As Larry turns to leave, he bumps into a big gentleman. Larry's wrapped hand is a dead giveaway since the boyfriend had previously found a similar bandage at Mary Jane's place. Larry scurries out the door and hides behind a dumpster. Of course, this is right as Chrisian Slater shows up, and he tells the boyfriend where Larry is hiding. As the looming figure approaches the dumpster, Larry looks up with remorse.

A couple thoughts:

* I guess we won't be seeing the cast of "Seinfeld" in every episode. I suppose the whole arc of this season simply involves Larry trying to get his wife back and all the problems in between.

* Ted Danson was also in last night's episode of "Bored to Death," which airs before "Curb Your Enthusiasm." Danson is on a roll.

* In order to be recognized by Mary Jane's boyfriend, I know Larry needed to be wearing that bandage on his hand. Still, nobody ever tells their doctor to go against their professional opinion. Everything would have still connected if the doctor had just told Larry to continue wearing a bandage.


Curb Your Enthusiasm 7.3 -- The Reunion

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All the way back in 1998, the funniest sitcom of all time officially went off the air. True, there were exceptional shows that came before and many that would come after, but for my dollar "Seinfeld" sets the bar. I specifically remember watching dozens of episodes with my family, huddled around our little TV on Thursdays nights with the rest of America. Knowing me, I was probably rolling around on the floor in fits of laughter, struck by these absurdly realistic situations pieced together by popping language. Life was and is always hectic, but "Seinfeld" never ceased to fill our house with a sense of calm enjoyment, if only for a half hour every week. Although one could make a case for "Everybody Loves Raymond," "Seinfeld" was the last great "traditional" series to bow out. When I say "traditional," I'm referring to comedies that don't adhere to continuous story lines. Starting with "The Larry Sanders Show," then "Sports Night," and now "The Office," "30 Rock," "Scrubs," "Extras," and "Entourage" -- these are all shows that flesh out stories throughout an entire series. "The Simpsons" is the only current sitcom from the last century that "resets" itself after every episode. The characters never learn from their mistakes and plots don't carry over. Unless the brilliance that is "According to Jim" is still on the air, only the animated comedies on Fox (and possibly Cartoon Network) stick to this age-old format. In my mind, that style is more difficult, as with each episode the writers have to start from scratch, severing any possible avenues their characters might crawl down. It's the perfect framework for stand-up comedians, and that's why "Seinfeld" was so perfect.

At their core, Jerrfy Seinfeld and Larry David are gag writers. Often described as "comics' comics," they didn't have a schtick, necessarily -- their jokes were just really funny. However, while Jerry was likable, crowds could loathe Larry David. Thus, when the idea of a television show presented itself, Jerry reluctantly ventured on camera while Larry stayed behind the scenes as a writer and executive producer. Of course, Larry's presence would take shape on screen as the character George Costanza, played by Jason Alexander. Enter Julia Louis-Dreyfus as Jerry's old girlfriend, Elaine, and Michael Richards as Kramer, the wacky neighbor from across the hall, and the rest is history.

After nine seasons -- a unreachable duration for comedies these days -- "Seinfeld" ended with a two-part finale. In the closing scenes, the four friends are sentenced to an unspecified amount of jail time, leaving their futures in doubt and a reunion a possibility. Over the next few years, each of the actors would follow their own path. Jerry got back into stand-up and made a poorly received kids movie. After failing with one series, Julia found success with her current "New Adventures of Old Christine." Jason had two sitcom flops and later turned to the theater. As for Michael, we all know what happened to him. It was an unfortunate incident that happened to a talented man. But what of Larry David?

When "Curb Your Enthusiasm" premiered on HBO in 2000, it was the first time most of us had seen Larry. The hype succinctly touted "Curb" as a new show from "the co-creator of 'Seinfeld.'" That was all it took. The guy couldn't act, but it didn't matter. "Curb Your Enthusiasm" is "Seinfeld 2.0," equipped with all the stylings of 21st century television. Continuous story line? Check. Disposal of canned laughter? Check. Single-cam filming? Check. Loose, realistic dialogue? Check. Still, "Curb Your Enthusiasm" is about nothing (the subject). Really, it's only slightly more evolved than "Seinfeld." Larry David plays himself and funny stuff happens. That's it. If anybody embodies the "write what you know" philosophy, it's this guy. In 2007, Larry and his wife officially divorced. Cue Season 6 of "Curb," which tracks Larry and his on-screen wife Cheryl's separation. Remarkably simple, but remarkably effective. Larry and "Curb" then took a breather in 2008, likely due to changes in Larry's personal life. Now in it's seventh season, "Curb Your Enthusiasm" is back, part of HBO's terrific Sunday nights that also feature "Entourage" and "Bored to Death." As Larry and Cheryl consistently bump into one another, it's clear a spark is still there. Cheryl has since become a Laker fan and taken up acting. Seizing an opportunity to win her back, Larry decides to orchestrate the "Seinfeld" reunion, casting Cheryl as Geroge Costanza's ex-wife in the process.

This is the basic premise of "The Reunion," the first time Jerry, Julia, Jason, and Michael have been together on television since "Seinfeld's" finale. Lured by fantasies of being with Cheryl, Larry and executives from NBC agree to a one-off special. Larry begins to make the rounds. Obviously, Jerry is first up, and he takes the most convincing. Jerry: "You hate to get together. You're not a get-together-guy." He can't comprehend Larry's sudden enthusiasm for this type of thing. As Larry pushes and pushes, Jerry eventually gives in. Excited about its potential, Jerry pitches the idea of casting Meg Ryan in the role of George's ex-wife. Uh oh.

Larry's lunch with Jason Alexander isn't nearly as smooth. Jason gives his seal of approval, but not after expressing his dislike for the "Seinfeld" finale and his unflattering views on the character of George. Upon paying their respective checks, Larry wants to "coordinate the tip" by leaving the same amount. Jason doesn't see the relevance, further aggravating Larry. Ever the detective, Larry returns to the restaurant and interrogates the same waiter, asking him how "healthy" Jason's tip was.

Like Jerry, Julia is a bit skeptical, considering how tacky reunion shows have been in the past. Still, since everyone else is in favor, she accepts. When she leaves to answer the phone, Larry grills her daughter about where she was yesterday. Julia couldn't meet up earlier because she was at her daughter's birthday. However, Julia has two daughters and the one Larry is talking to hasn't been around any cake recently. Again, Larry is irrationally stirring the pot.

Out to eat with Michael Richards, Larry continues his crusade. Larry uses the exact same pitch to sell Michael, but Kramer is zoning out. He's distracted by all the nude art covering the walls of the restaurant. Before leaving, he obliviously agrees to reprise his role infamous role.

Naturally, Larry nearly ruins everything after telling the head of NBC to "go F himself" because of a disagreement over some Laker tickets. But this is Larry David and "Curb Your Enthusiasm" we're talking about. During the shows final scenes, Larry resolves all the problems he's created for himself and the "Seinfeld" cast. Nevertheless, nothing is ever seamless. After bumping into Meg Ryan on the street, Jerry offers her the part of George's ex-wife and she's game. Maybe it's just not meant to be, Larry.

As "The Reunion" involved a heavy load of story development, there weren't as many hilarious lines as one might expect. Now that the set-up is complete, the following episodes should be incredible. All the "Seinfeld" actors were great, playing a role far more surreal than either has ever undertaken in their respective careers.

Lastly, I'll leave you with my favorite moment from last night's episode. Larry is apologizing to Sandy Goodman, the head of NBC.

Larry: So, this is me apologizing. It's about as sorry as I can get. I guess my question is..was it sorry enough?

Sandy: That's it?

It's only going to get better, folks.


Curb Your Enthusiasm 7.2 -- Vehicular Fellatio

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To the adroit fan, "Curb Your Enthusiasm" often presents itself as a complex puzzle one can attempt to solve before an episode's conclusion. Larry David and Jerry Seinfeld perfected the art of interweaving multiple story lines during "Seinfeld's" nine-season run. There are rarely any cracks in the output, but once in a blue moon you could cite something as a "stretch." With "Curb," the two that come to mind are 1) the surgeon shaving Jeff's head in Season 6 and 2) the doctor taking a soda out of Larry's fridge without asking in the premiere of Season 7. Considering how beautifully consistent "Curb" has been over time, I always let it slide.

Larry and company took a year off before tackling this new season. It looks like that was a wise decision as it's been hilarious thus far. In the premiere, Larry was still living with the Blacks, hoping his girlfriend Loretta Black (Vivica A. Fox) wouldn't be diagnosed with cancer. At the end of the episode, everyone involved receives the bad news. Larry is devastated, but not because of his compassion for Loretta. After running into his ex-wife Cheryl at a restaurant, it's clear they miss one another. The scene hints at the potential "Seinfeld" reunion audiences are expecting. In "Vehicular Fellatio," Larry quickly realizes he doesn't have the patience or love to deal with Loretta's cancer. While blending a shake for Loretta, Larry notices a cancer specialist on "Dr. Phil." The specialist, a pioneer in the field, is promoting her book that instructs cancer patients to leave their partners/spouses if they are unsympathetic, self-obsessed, and petty -- all qualities Larry with which identifies. The show's themes and possible story arcs are already evident. Richard Lewis, his new girlfriend, Jeff, Suzie, and Larry all go out dinner. Upon arriving, Jeff informs Larry that the girlfriend gave Richard a blowjob on the way to restaurant. Larry promises not to say anything, opting to avoid any physical contact with her during dinner. Larry's actions inevitably end Richard's relationship. At the same time, the themes of "hugging" and "fellatio" have been firmly planted.

Larry and Loretta soon meet with the cancer specialist and Larry tries as hard as possible to be the most annoying man in the world. The schtick appears to work as he's sent outside. Larry can sense freedom! When the couple is driving to the doctor's lecture, Larry's plans are temporarily derailed. Larry notices the doctor's husband in the car in front of him (easily spotted because of his full head of hair). However, the doctor's head emerges from his lap. While Larry is amused, Loretta is horrified and orders Larry to take her home. Later on, Larry must return to the doctor's office to pay for another patient's glasses after Larry innocently broke them. There, he bumps into the specialist. She's disappointed that he and Loretta didn't attend the lecture. After much poking and prodding, Larry admits that they didn't attend because he saw her giving her husband fellatio in the car. The doctor proceeds to attack Larry, hitting him over the head with her bestselling book. Oh, the visual themes are tying the episode together so nicely.

It's the show's final scenes, however, that confirm its genius. Loretta's cousin, and one of Larry's numerous housemates, Leon, has been having an affair with his friend Alton's wife. When Larry returns home, Leon has her over. Unfortunately, the suspicious Alton has showed up. As he storms through the house, the girl hides under the passenger seat in Larry's car. Alton is soon convinced that his wife and Leon aren't sleeping with each other and leaves. But this is quite the yarn we're spinning and the best is yet to come. As Loretta pulls into the driveway, Alton's wife appears from an awkward position next to Larry. Of course, Loretta assumes fellatio and like that, the Blacks are gone and Larry is free to pursue Cheryl.

Thankfully, Leon, an L.A. native, is going to stay on as Larry's rommate. I won't spoil the final scene for any of you reading since it purely exemplifies the comedic bliss David has provided over the years. On a night where "Entourage" and "Bored to Death" provided some strong comedy, "Curb Your Enthusiasm" once again came out on top.

Nevertheless, were there any inconsistencies to this tightly woven story? I spotted one and you guys can tell me if you feel the same way. In the beginning of the episode, Loretta pressures Larry into driving her everywhere. She claims her doctor advised her not to operate a vehicle. So why was she driving when she found Larry in the car with Alton's wife?

Anyway, I thought this episode was great. Stay tuned, because the "Seinfeld" reunion takes place next week!

Old Show, New Season: "Curb Your Enthusiasm"

Fair warning: those of you who have been chomping at the bit to see the much-vaunted "Seinfeld" reunion on this season of "Curb Your Enthusiam" had better cool your jets, at least for this week. Although the press (and I'm including myself in their number) immediately latched onto the season's major plot arc and ran with it, there's only the tiniest hint in tonight's episode about the events to come. What we get instead is something which longtime fans of the series will nonetheless appreciate: a follow-up to the Season 6 finale.

If you were there at the end of Season 6, then you remember that Larry, now separated from Cheryl, had managed to find an unexpected love connection with Loretta Black (Vivica A. Fox). Well, they're still together, amazingly enough, but it's hard to say how much longer the relationship is going to last. Part of it is because she's starting to drive him crazy, but the other reason is...well, it's better that you learn it for yourself. Suffice it to say that it's a development which will immediately make you go, "Oh, God, this is going to be like Susan on 'Seinfeld' all over again..." Maybe it won't be, but that's certainly the first thing that leapt to my mind.

The season premiere is entitled "Funkhouser's Crazy Sister," and the title character - named Bam-Bam - is played by Catherine O'Hara. I gotta tell ya, it's always great to see O'Hara, and she hits a home run with her role tonight, particularly after one of the characters makes the very foolish choice of indulging in a liaison with Bam-Bam. We also get a brief appearance from Wanda Sykes, and although she's definitely not a strong presence within the episode, Cheryl does manage to turn up for a few minutes; it's a testament to how much Larry has missed her, however, that he doesn't completely lose it when their paths cross. (She unabashedly uses his name to get a good table at a restaurant.)

There's one thing that doesn't work very well in the season premiere: the action performed by Loretta's doctor which annoys Larry and thereby sets off the episode's series of intertwined events. I think any "Curb" fan worth his or her salt knows that Larry's pretty easily annoyed, often by the most ridiculous things, but it just isn't as funny when Larry does something that you know you'd probably do, too. And, trust me, anyone would stand aghast at the doctor's action. It's completely inappropriate.

Then again, when you think about it, there really isn't that much about "Curb Your Enthusiasm" that is appropriate, so I guess it all works out okay in the end. And, besides, as ever, it's just nice to have Larry David back for another season.

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