CD Review of Rich Boy by Rich Boy

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Rich Boy
no starno starno starno starno star Label: Interscope
Released: 2007
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First off, let’s start with a couple of quotes from the official RICH BOY website forum, shall we?

“This website suck I mean wut the fuck it don’t have no fuckin visitors and forget this shit I am out the baddess bitch eva holla.” – Breezy14

“Rich Boy better keep his Caddy and his D’s so he can sell em later cause 2 years from now nobody’s gonna know who he is except his parole officer and his foreman. NO TALENT JACKASS!!!!!” – Deez89Nutz

“Here’s an idea, quit wasting your money on stupid shit just because it’s shiny and make a better life for yourself or your community (you could start by not selling crack). I hope that you realize that you’re just giving racists more ideas.” – cadeeja

Harsh, harsh words. And I’m afraid that I can’t offer up anything better. It’s true. Rich Boy is another in a long line of cookie cutter, no talent wack-ass rappers who go on about their bling and ego and nothing else. I couldn’t really make out anything decipherable from the first track here, “Get to Poppin’,” other than a slew of the words “fuck,” “muthuhfuckas,” and “niggas.” Ah yes, when you have no talent, just go back to the talentless pool of shitty lyrics and spew out the same old, same old.

It’s fitting that people who are actually listening to Rich Boy are speaking out so loudly against his “music.” They’re right, it’s pretty damn bad and offers up nothing salvageable. The big question is why major labels like Universal keep signing on hacks like Rich Boy and then bitch about why no one’s buying CDs anymore. Gee, do you think it could be because you’re throwing all this money away on artists who don’t even deserve it? It’s apparent to me anymore that labels are completely clueless. Hey, his lyrics suck, but let’s give him a contract anyway, because all that “nigga” and “fuck” shit really connects with the “urban” audience and will definitely move some units.

“Thow Some D’s” is completely retarded, with Boy’s crew robotically demanding “Throw some D’s on dat bitch!” in the background while Rich himself recites the following craptastic line again and again: “Rich Boy sellin\' crack, broke niggas wanna jack / shit tight no slack, just bought a Cadillac.” Note the problem isn’t just Rich Boy’s lousy rapping, but also the samples propping him up. They sound just like him – broken and skipping brutally. In fact, it’s hard to think of any other rapper who’s sounded so lousy due to choppy rhythmic execution.

On “D-Dude” Rich Boy continues to dry hump the gangsta well with zero returns. We get to hear him rap about weaponry and how bad he and his crew are, all set to a “dangerous” sounding backing track. Look, even Coolio moved on after “Gangsta’s Paradise.” You’d think so many of these guys would get that already, but no, we get to be assaulted with more of the same pointless bragging about absolutely nothing.

There is absolutely nothing redeeming here, or seriously worth listening to. It’s a damn shame that people are throwing money at these guys to go in and basically make complete wastes of time. There are far more deserving artists out there who could be making great albums if given the chance, yet here we go again with some more bling-bling puke that truly won’t be remembered by the time the end of the year rolls around, if not sooner. Terrific.

~Jason Thompson