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Random observations: week six of the NFL season
by: Shawn Griffin from SportsTerminal.com
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Do people on the Internet really fall for those obnoxious banners that are flashing "WINNER! Click here"…?
Let's discuss this Andy Rooney thing. I have to admit, he's halfway right. In this debate, though, Rooney is nothing more than a useful idiot. He's right for all the wrong reasons. Regardless of whether or not the sideline reporter is a male or female, THEY HAVE NO BUSINESS BEING DOWN THERE. It has nothing to do with the fact that they are women -- it's the fact that they really don't supply useful, intelligent information that the booth guys (or gals) can't already tell you. But if there HAS to be a sideline reporter, I would much prefer Melissa Stark to Eric Dickerson or Suzy Kolber to O.J. Simpson. At least Melissa and Suzy can speak the King's English.
A few weeks ago, I said I was getting sick of the Jon Gruden face. I hate to pick on the Buccaneers, but now Warren Sapp's antics are starting to bother me. There's something about a big, fat, sweaty dude dancing around the field like a petite showgirl that I find incredibly disturbing and, more importantly, annoying as hell. Stop the prancing around for the cameras, fat boy.
Speaking of stupid antics on the playing field, would anyone have objected had Shawn Springs or any one of the other 52 Seattle Seahawks went up to Terrell Owens and popped him as hard as possible upside his head when he pulled out the pen and signed the football after scoring on Monday night? I was actually rooting for somebody to pop that guy so hard that his helmet would fly off…where is Jack Tatum when you need him? Your day of reckoning is coming, Terrell.
I know I seem to discuss this about every week, but I still can't understand why Mike Brown keeps the Cincinnati Bengals. If I were a Bengals fan, I would definitely defect to another team. Adopt a different NFL team and start enjoying football again, Cincy fan.
As a Saints fan pointed out to me, New Orleans should have been listed on my list of the most surprising teams this season. After going 7-9 last season, they are off to a great 5-1 start. The Deuce is awesome and Brooks is playing relatively smart football. If they are to make some noise in the playoffs, though, they are going to have to start giving up fewer than their average 24 points a game to their opponents.
I don't know which division is worse -- the AFC North or the NFC East. I guess you would have to give it to the AFC North because of Mr. Brown and the Bengals.
Hey, Patriot fan, you've been keeping pretty silent recently. What's wrong? Whenever the Patriots win, I get a bunch of snide, nasty e-mails telling me I'm a New York fan -- but when they lose, which they have been doing a lot of lately, I get nothing. I love it. I will say it again -- last year was a FLUKE. Does that mean you shouldn't be proud of it? Hell no. Just don't act like the Patriots are the greatest team in the NFL and Bill Belichick is a genius. They aren't and he isn't.
These coaches, although they've had past success, would be the last guys I would want coaching my favorite team: Dan Reeves and Marty Schottenhiemer. Neither of them can get over the hump. In the playoffs, they fold like cheap tents. I wonder how many other clichés I can come up with in this paragraph?
I am getting sick of coaches, like Butch Davis, who like to say that they want to "manage the game." How about just getting your players ready and "winning the game"?
The good news for the Chiefs: They've scored the most points (205) in the NFL so far this season. The bad news: They've given up the most points (193) in the NFL so far this season.
Some readers wanted me to know that there are some good NFL announcers out there besides Al Michaels. Some of the names mentioned -- Dan Dierdorf, Steve Tasker and Joe Buck. I agree on Joe Buck -- he is very good. Tasker? No way. He talks WAY TOO much. Dierdorf isn't that bad, but I wouldn't say he's good.
What would be the worst NFL match-up? Would you actually watch a game between the Lions and the Texans? I would only watch that game for one of two reasons: If I was dumb enough to have a fantasy player from one of those teams or if I wagered on it.
I thought the following teams were on their way down before this season started: the Packers, Dolphins and Colts. Turns out they aren't. The Dolphins-Broncos game last Sunday night was the best game of the season so far.
I wonder what the over/under would be on a Bills-Chiefs game? I would have to put it at 61 and still take the over.
How about the over/under on a game between the Texans and Bengals? I would say 34 and still take the under.
Ever wonder why they have a "half point" on the lines? It's because they know some idiot would pick the Bills last week at -7 and a HALF against the Texans, only to see the Bills win by 7. That one had to hurt (not me, of course).
Speaking of lines, don't you wish the coaches would have the point spread in mind while making late-game decisions? Do you know how bad I wanted the Bills to go for two when they went up by seven late in the fourth quarter?
What's SCARIER: attempting to catch a floating Tim Couch pass over the middle in triple coverage, having Julius Peppers coming at you from your blind side, or driving at 75 MPH on the highway while a female talking on her cell phone in a Ford Expedition tailgates you? I would like to take this time to admonish all of you men out there who bought you wives or girlfriends an SUV. Shame on you. Just as no male should ever be allowed to drive one of those new Volkswagen Bugs, a female shouldn't be allowed to drive an SUV. Don't argue with me about this.
Until next week, may your team win and remember the wise words of Earnest Hemingway:
"Always do sober what you said you'd do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut."
See more of Shawn at SportsTerminal.com,
and e-mail him at shawng@sportsterminal.com!
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