There are certain things you’re forbidden from doing if you want a second date. A first date is awkward enough, so you should be yourself but be on your best behavior. Some are emotionally intelligent and don’t need a lot of suggestions regarding what not to do. If you’re of the other camp, you could use a few pointers, so avoid these disastrous first date faux pas while subscribing to a few good actions.
Don’t Be Late
Time is valuable. You don’t want to give the impression that your time is more valuable or that you don’t value your date’s time. Being late gives a very poor first impression. Accidents and the occasional inescapable deterrent happens. For example, maybe you got stuck in traffic or got a flat tire. If you want to start the date on the entirely wrong foot, then be fifteen or more minutes late. Otherwise, be early.
Don’t Be Rude to Servers
The date may take place at an event or restaurant with service people. Your date is going to observe how you treat others. So, if you’re rude to a waitress or the valet, you’re going to lose points with your date. Even if it seems like a server is being rude or uppity, it’s proper protocol to keep your cool and take the high road.
Do Ask Questions
Dates, especially women, like to feel as if you’re interested in them as a person, not as a sexual object. The best way to show engagement is to ask questions. Even better, find out about their passions and interests and explore those topics. This leads to the next suggestion regarding talking too much about oneself.
Don’t Talk Too Much About Yourself
There’s nothing alluring about a person who appears self-engrossed. Sure, you want to offer information about yourself, but you don’t want to dominate the conversation talking about your accomplishments, things you own, etc. Also, be humble. For example, if you’re the CEO of a corporation, you don’t have to shine a light on your title; tell them about what you do versus trying to impress them with titles.
Don’t Talk About Your Ex
The ex-girlfriend or boyfriend is in the past. Leave them there. It’s awkward and inappropriate to speak of past relationships. Plus, there’s really no value in it; it’s not like a person is going to make themselves look wrong or imperfect. For example, if they broke up with their ex because they were unfaithful, do you think they’re going to be forthright about it? It’s best to leave previous relationships behind and focus on the potential one at hand.
Don’t Drink Too Much
It should not need to be mentioned, yet some go out and get loaded on a first date and completely blow any chances they may have had. It’s okay to go out and have a drink to loosen up or to have a glass of wine with dinner, but don’t get drunk. For one, you’ll be an inebriated version of yourself. You want them to like you for who you are. Secondly, if you’re driving, you’re putting yourself in an unsafe and illegal position.
Do Speak of Being Single As a Choice
There’s a bit of a stigma in being single. What’s wrong with you that you’re not taken yet? Of course, nothing is wrong with you and you want to make sure the other person knows that. So, don’t be too self-effacing or talk about how you have bad luck with dating. Even if you feel a bit self-conscious about your weight or hair (you can seek hair solutions at http://surehair.com/hair-transplantation/) don’t be self-effacing. Spin being single as a choice and a result of you not wanting to settle.
Don’t Discuss Your Ideal Partner
An ideal partner does not exist. Humans are full of faults but that doesn’t mean someone is not perfect for you, faults and all. However, you want to stray from rattling off traits that you find desirable. Otherwise, you will make your date feel as if you’re comparing them or you’re creating expectations for them to live up to.
Don’t Discuss Loaded Topics
Topics that include views on politics and religion could ruffle feathers or make people get defensive. Some discussions are better left alone on a first date. It’s likely you will find out their views on more important issues if things go well. For now, keep things light and don’t cross the threshold of topics that could make your date feel uncomfortable.
Do Highlight Your Good Traits
You can be gracious in complimenting yourself without coming across as arrogant or conceited. It’s all about the delivery. For example, you can discuss how you’re very passionate about success. You don’t have to mention you make six figures.
Jamie Redfern is a matchmaker who enjoys helping people find true love. His articles can be found on many relationship and lifestyle websites.