Bullz-Eye Home
The Opposite Sex
Stuff to Buy
Guides & Reviews
Movie DVDs
City Guide
Web Guide
Premium Members

Join  Enter

Cool Links

All Pro Models
Premium Hollywood
EatSleepDrink Music
Sports Blog
Cleveland Sports
Political Humor

Leave the gun, take the cannolis, Part II
by: Shawn Griffin from
Pg 1 of 1

One column is simply not enough to pay homage to the greatest movie ever made -- "The Godfather." Part I looked at some of the main characters. Part II takes it a little further to include some of the other, lesser-known characters. 

Now that we took care of the Corleone Family, let's move on to some of the others….

Johnny Fontaine

Johnny Fontaine is the pretty boy of the Godfather movie. He is an actor and a singer (based on Frank Sinatra? Nahh, I doubt it) and comes to the Don for help on getting a part in a new picture coming out. The problem is that Pretty Boy Johnny bedded film mogul Jack Woltz's girlfriend, who in turn refuses to let Fontaine star in the new movie. That is, until the Corleone Family gets involved. Next thing you know, Woltz wakes up with a dead horse's head in his bed. Who will forget that scene? I can hear Woltz screaming right now as I write this. Johnny then starred in the movie. "That's a true story, Kay," as Michael would say. Who is the Johnny Fontaine of the Sports World? The most overrated NFL football player -- New York Giants DB Jason Sehorn. He is the pretty boy of the NFL who signed a big contract extension before the start of last season. He is continually beaten on long passes, is about as tough as Liberace against the run, and overall is simply a very average football player. On the other hand, he has a hot wife. Angie Harmon of the TV show, Law and Order, is the babe he's married to. Is this just petty jealousy? Yes, but so what. 

Peter Clemenza

Ahh, one of my favorite characters in the Godfather saga. Clemenza can always be counted on to be loyal to the Corleones. He is not your typical well-dressed, dapper capo that you usually find in the mob. Rather, Clemenza is a fat slob who has memorable lines like, "Leave the gun, take the cannoli" and (to Michael, poking fun at his relationship with Kay) "I love you with all-a my heart! If I don't see you again soon, I'm a-gonna die!" I especially like the part where he teaches Michael how to make spaghetti and meatballs -- "Heh, come over here, kid, learn something. You never know, you might have to cook for 20 guys someday. You see, you start out with a little bit of oil. Then you fry some garlic. Then you throw in some tomatoes, tomato paste, you fry it; ya make sure it doesn't stick. You get it to a boil; you shove in all your sausage and your meatballs; heh…? And a little bit o' wine. An' a little bit o' sugar, and that's my trick." With lines like that, how could you not love the guy? Now, let's move on to the sports figure who most reminds me of good ol' Clemenza. It has to be University of Utah head coach Rick Majerus. Talk about loyalty -- this guy has had offers to go to the NBA, to go to bigger college programs than Utah...but he doesn't take the bait. Instead, he stays put in Mormon country. He is totally loyal. Plus, he's fat, like Clemenza. He took all of last season off to be with his elderly mother, who was sick at the time. How could you not love this guy? 

Carlo Rizzi

We go from one of the most beloved characters in the movie to one of the most despised -- Carlo Rizzi. Carlo is a small-time bookie who marries Don Corleone's only daughter, Connie. Although he very much wants to get involved in the Family Business, the Don puts that notion to bed when he tells Tom, who asked if they should give Carlo an important job, "Never. Give him a living, but never discuss the Family business with him." Carlo, already an insecure moron, takes out his anger by beating Connie whenever he feels like it. This doesn't go over very well with Sonny, who beats Carlo like a redheaded stepchild when he finds out about the abuse. Carlo takes out his revenge by luring Sonny away from the Family bodyguards where he is murdered at a tollbooth. All in all, Carlo is the epitome of a "scumbag." Who compares to this clown in the world of sports? I am sure we could come up with many, but I have to go with Donald Fehr, the MLB Players Association union chief. This is the type of guy who would take food out of the mouth of a starving child if he felt the need to. He could care less about the state of the game -- all he cares about is lining his pockets with cash and getting on the nightly newscast. He was instrumental in shutting down the baseball season in 1994, and he will do his best (along with the owners, who aren't much better, I might add) to do the same for the season coming up. Most of you know what happens to Carlo at the end of the Godfather. That was just too bad, wasn't it?

Moe Green

Moe Green is the character who helped build Vegas into a gambling mecca. The problem is that he skims way too much money off the top and he slaps around Fredo Corleone in public, a big time no-no. As Michael says to Moe, when he meets with him to buy the casino, "Your casino loses money -- maybe we can do better." Moe doesn't like this one bit and proceeds to go on a tirade against Michael and the rest of the Family. He says, "Sonofabitch -- do you know who I am? I'm Moe Greene! I made my bones when you were going out with cheerleaders!" Needless to say, Michael isn't too impressed with this argument and Moe ends up with a bullet in his eye during the climactic end to the movie. Bottom line -- Moe is a loud-mouthed, arrogant jerk who thinks the world revolves around him. As Michael showed, it simply does not. In the sports world, I have to give the Moe Green award to Yankees' owner George Steinbrenner. I can see it now -- some young, upstart owner meeting with George and offering to buy him out -- he would go ballistic. "I made my bones with the Yankees when you were going out with Britney Spears look-alikes!"

Police Captain McCluskey

Finally. I was looking for a way to get this guy in this column and last Sunday gave me an idea. McCluskey doesn't have too big of a part in the movie, but still is important because he is in the scene where Michael makes the move that pulls him into the Family Business. You see, McCluskey is a crooked cop who is paid off by Sollozzo in the movie. When Michael goes to visit his father, who is in the hospital after getting shot, the police captain had already arrested all of the armed guards, clearing the way for the Don to be assassinated as he recuperated from being shot. Michael and Enzo pretend like they are armed guards. A black sedan filled with executioners pulls up, sees this, and doesn't go on with their mission (just follow me on this one, I know it's a lot of info…). McCluskey is furious -- "I thought I got all you guinea hoods locked up! What the hell are you doing here?" He then proceeds to punch Michael in the face, breaking his jaw. To make an already long story short, Michael takes this crooked cop out as he's eating a plate of spaghetti. Getting back to last Sunday...for the most part, NFL OFFICIALS are the Captain McCluskeys of the sports world. After watching the DEBACLE in Cleveland last Sunday, there is no doubt that some of these officials have money on the games. Think about this for a moment. You've got 11 players on offense and 11 on defense. A player would have a very difficult time throwing a game. The refs, on the other hand, can single-handedly stop the momentum of a team at any time during the game. They can call holding on every play, yet many times "save" it for when a particular team gets a 50 yard TD pass. It's uncanny. The worst part is the NFL would NEVER want this information to come out, so if this is going on (which it is) we will rarely ever get the true story. Why those officials in Cleveland reviewed a play AFTER another play was run is something I will never understand. And I don't, for one minute, buy the "party line" that the buzzer went off before the play -- it's obvious after watching the replay that this is the CYA (Cover Your Ass) from the official. The NFL, of course, goes along with this crap because they sold their set of "you know whats" a long time ago. Can you tell I am a tad upset about this? From now on, I am referring to NFL officials as "Captain McCluskeys." I only gave you one example...I will save the rest for another column.

In closing, I would like to leave you with the following: 

"...We'll get there, Pop -- we'll get there... "(Michael to the Don)

See more of Shawn's columns at!

Other Columns By Shawn Griffin

<<< Previous Article   Next Article >>> : Feedback - Link to Us  - About B-E - FAQ - Advertise with Us

© 2000-2005®, All Rights Reserved. Contact the webmaster with questions or comments. Privacy Policy and Site Map