Jacob Davich, Justin Kline,
Nicole Weaver, Krysta Rodriguez, Savannah Welch, Sunny Leone
- Rated R
- Buy the DVD
All photos © Sony Pictures
Reviewed by David Medsker
he cleverest thing about “The Virginity Hit” is the framing device; the movie is shot documentary-style under the guise of a film project shepherded by the lead character’s best friend, a unique take on the well-worn sex comedy. The execution of that device, however, is terrible. It’s poorly acted, clumsy, lazy, and as emotionally stunted as any sex comedy ever made, which is quite the accomplishment for a genre that defines itself by dick jokes and bodily humor.
Matt (Matt Bennett) is the last of his close friends to lose his virginity. His best friend Zack (Zack Pearlman), who’s also his adoptive brother, decides to turn Zack’s quest to be deflowered into a film. Matt’s girlfriend Nicole (Nicole Weaver) is ready and willing, but just before the two plan a special night together, Matt discovers that Nicole cheated on him with a college guy, at which point Matt decides to screw, then dump, Nicole. After the evening goes horribly wrong, the newly single Matt, virginity still intact, becomes an internet sensation when a clip of the evening’s events lands on YouTube. His luck changes when a lovely 25-year-old named Becca (Savannah Welch) sends a response video, offering to be Matt’s first. The problem is, she has a pretty big list of demands, and besides, Matt would much rather lose his virginity to porn star Sunny Leone.
There are several points in this movie where the real life version of these events would stop dead, starting with Matt’s big breakup with Nicole. If Matt’s friends heard that rumor about Nicole at school, then you can bet Nicole knows about it, too. Bottom line, Matt and Nicole are going to talk about this before the big moment. As for the embarrassing video of Matt on YouTube that prompts the response from Becca, that was uploaded by Zack, his best friend and adoptive brother. Who would do that to someone they love? (Note: if you actually do that sort of thing to your friends, you’re a lousy friend.) Lastly, there is the ridiculous break-in towards the end, which no one would ever do if they weren’t 100% sure the person they were looking for was home. There is no logic applied to any of these setups; their only reason for being appears to be because someone thought it would be funny. The plausibility of the events does not appear to have been discussed.
Then there is the psychological nature of it all, which is downright disturbing. Matt, a virgin, can only get it up by fantasizing about a porn star and is in fact in love with said porn star. To her credit, Sunny Leone is pretty darn cute here, but Nicole is gorgeous, so any chance the movie had of having the audience root for Matt is lost in the first 20 minutes. Then there is the scene where Matt is hit on by his drunken adoptive sister. It’s as if directors Andrew Gurland and Huck Botko were so focused on setting up roadblocks for Matt to hit that they didn’t stop to consider the ick factor.
Sex comedies may be juvenile by definition, but “The Virginity Hit” is positively infantile. If you must see a sex comedy, go rent “Sex Drive,” which handles the issues of viral videos, miscommunication gone awry, and the urge to lose one’s virginity by any means necessary with ten times the grace and wit that “The Virginity Hit” possesses.
Single-Disc DVD Review:
The bonus features to "The Virginity Hit" are as funny as the movie itself, which is to say not funny. The Line-o-Rama feature includes Zack Pearlman doing nothing but riffs on the "I'm going to do for your virginity what ____ did for _____." And that's fine, but you see him do variations on the same references three and four times, and it gets old quickly. The Funny or Die audition clip Pearlman submitted is him talking about his sister walking in on him while masturbating (wheee!), and the screen test isn't far removed from the final feature, including the "I'm going to fuck the taste out of your mouth" line (ewww). The best featurette by far is "Jersey Girl," which shows Nicole Weaver, the lone bright spot in the movie, still working at her old job and being completely unfazed by starring in a major motion picture. If only the rest of the movie had her grace.