Movie Review: “The Super Mario Bros. Movie”

Kids’ movies are hard to rate and review because children don’t have the same narrative requirements and predispositions as adults. The plotline can suddenly veer in a bizarre direction, and it will be easily absorbed by child audiences without so much as a blink. They understand who a character is based on what the movie tells them, and not necessarily what’s shown through that character’s actions. They are at once more forgiving of plot contrivances and yet also require greater hooks to keep them engaged with the film itself. This isn’t to say that kids’ movies are inherently worse or less intelligent than those geared towards grown-ups, but it makes it harder to discuss “The Super Mario Bros. Movie” when the target audience is children; what will appeal to them is not the same as what will appeal to me. Thankfully, kids may be more accepting of the many, many trespasses that this new feature from directors Aaron Horvath and Michael Jelenic commits in its mercifully brief runtime. For a 41-year-old viewer, mammoth amounts of “The Super Mario Bros. Movie” doesn’t work, although preadolescent opinions may vary.

Bowser (Jack Black) is intent on conquering all the kingdoms in another realm. When he sets his sights on the Mushroom Kingdom, it’s up to their princess, Peach (Anya Taylor-Joy), to forge an alliance with the Jungle Kingdom and fend off Bowser’s vast armies. This plan gets a little hiccup with the introduction of Mario (Chris Pratt) and Luigi (Charlie Day), two Brooklyn plumbers who were separated when they were accidentally sucked into this other dimension. Since Luigi is now a captive of Bowser’s forces, Mario makes it his mission to rescue him by tagging along with Peach. Along the way, they explore the strange new world and meet up with some familiar faces to try to stop Bowser’s domination.

The best family films and kids’ movies cater to the younger crowd but still have layers of innovation and surprises that don’t feel like a rushed sprint to check off various boxes. In the past two decades alone, there has been outstanding fare like “Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs,” “Moana” and “The Bad Guys,” which work on different levels for older viewers, all without feeling like pandering or an awkward mix of different voices aimed at different segments of the audience. “The Super Mario Bros. Movie” cannot boast such an achievement. It’s not a charmless movie and in fact has a handful of things going for it, but it’s a misfire on so many fundamental levels that I pity the parents that must endlessly watch this with their children on some demonic loop.

There may not be a bigger piece of evidence for reinstituting voice actors back into animation than “The Super Mario Bros. Movie.” Jack Black is awesome as Bowser, and Seth Rogen’s Donkey Kong works well, but everyone else is pretty stale without any real performance. There’s no chemistry between the actors, almost as if each performer was left on their own and folks just hoped it would all feel emotionally coherent. It doesn’t. If Pratt literally phoned in his performance via an afternoon call, I wouldn’t be surprised. Day and Taylor-Joy are clearly trying, and lord knows the material isn’t there to help them, but their performances lack any real sense of personality.

The element of “The Super Mario Bros. Movie” that is most baffling, however, is all the Easter eggs and winking references. While there are plenty of nods to current “Mario Bros.” games that will resonate with kids, there are also jokes about the late-‘80s Saturday morning TV show, the original “Jump Man” game, a bunch of side characters from “Super Mario Bros. 2,” the DK Rap from “Donkey Kong Country” and more that are clearly aimed at people closer to my age. Mario (and Donkey Kong) have been in my life for about 36 years now, so I understood all of the various references, but to what end? It’s the equivalent of asking, “Hey, remember this?” and then doing nothing with it. Fan service isn’t inherently bad, but it’s a powerful spice; a little goes a long way, and too much of it overpowers and ruins the dish in which it has been deployed.

Here’s a “Do you remember?” question that actually has a point: Do you remember “Mad Max: Fury Road?” That film was one long chase sequence moving from one intricate set piece to another full of spectacle and only sparse dialogue. I’m not suggesting that “The Super Mario Bros. Movie” could be (or even should be) like “Fury Road,” but at least George Miller’s movie was able to develop character and create memorable sequences alongside the nonstop narrative. “The Super Mario Bros. Movie” is constantly moving, with maybe two scenes where it takes a breath and tries to instill something akin to backstory or emotion before moving on to the next video game reference/action sequence. There are character arcs, but none of them are genuinely developed.

“The Super Mario Bros. Movie” isn’t a total waste. Again, Black does a great job as the villain, and Bowser is given some of the only genuinely clever moments in the entire film. There’s a legitimately great gag involving an adorable lumen captive that is inventive and surprising. The movie itself looks good, like a more cartoonish and fluid version of its video game origins, and there’s some great work with lighting and textures that deserves praise. Nevertheless, directors Horvath and Jelenic have turned in a great thesis on what to avoid in corporate cinematic properties that are aimed at children. It’s not as if negative reviews like this will deter kids from watching this movie, but it would be nice if we had higher expectations from our family entertainment.