|
|
Lane Strauss
| |
|
Bi-Weekly Columns
- The meanies (11/21/2003)
From an extremely young age, it was apparent
that Lane was a very talented artist. Sadly, he's
neglected those talents over the years but recently, a test from the Art
Instruction School allowed Lane to demonstrate his, um, unique artistic
abilities.
- Queer eye for the straight guy who the queer eye thinks isn't such a straight guy
(11/06/2003)
Two gay men recently assumed that Lane was also a National League hitter.
Disturbed by these events, Lane examines his life and concludes that,
despite his fascination with "Will and Grace" and his Elton John
fetish, he's just a normal, football-loving guy.
- Interview with my insurance guy. Also known as my brother-in-law. Also known as the luckiest bastard on earth (10/24/2003)
Lane will probably never visit Hugh at the Playboy Mansion, but his
brother-in-law recently did. And after seeing Jenny McCarthy, Pamela
Anderson and four topless mermaids, Lane concludes that his brother-in-law
is the luckiest bastard on earth.
- Sure signs (10/10/2003)
We receive sure signs all the time that confirm some of our worst fears. Do
you often wonder if perhaps your boss knows you surf porn at work everyday?
Lane says if he constantly addresses you as "BigStudJohn43," he
probably does.
- Who's your buddy?
Who's your pal? (09/26/2003)
Have
you ever received e-mails from some foreign dignitary claiming that your
"urgent and confidential assistance" is needed? Just recently,
Lane offered to help David Guei from the Ivory Coast, who promised to pay
Lane more than $6 million for his generosity.
View
Archived Articles >>>
Born and raised in Buffalo, Lane Strauss has spent a dozen years writing
copy at advertising agencies in Cleveland. Not a day goes by that he doesn't think of at least three painful ways to kill Scott Norwood.
Please send any comments on Lane's articles to lstrauss@bullz-eye.com.
|
|
|