What can we say about these two men that hasn’t been said before? They’ve both defied the odds in their respective brackets, but this time around, someone is going home a loser. Neither has much of an advantage, either. The good Dr. Jones may be afraid of snakes, but the Dark Knight’s fear of bats is just as embarrassing. Will Indiana Jones pull off one final upset, or will Batman prove that he’s the greatest (and most badass) hero of all time?
Indiana Jones
Harrison Ford, “Raiders of the Lost Ark“
Who says college professors can’t be badasses? Dr. Henry “Indiana” Jones may not have time for love, but he always makes time for an archaeological expedition. Indy’s first and foremost a historian, but to find his inner adventurer, he needs only remove his glasses, don his fedora and grab his trusty bullwhip. A profound desire to see precious antiquities in museums rather than on the black market has found him ankle-deep in adders, poisoned by the Chinese mafia, dragged under a tank by Nazis, and almost flattened by a giant boulder…but that’s all in a day’s work for Indiana Jones.
Definitive badass moment: When facing a sword-wielding assassin who boastfully demonstrates his dexterity with his blade, Jones shrugs, pulls out his revolver, and shoots the guy dead in his tracks.
Classic badass line: “You want to talk to God? Let’s go see him together. I’ve got nothing better to do!”
Seed: #16
Occupation: Archaeology professor
Strengths: Intelligent, good with a gun and a bullwhip
Weaknesses: Afraid of snakes, often places his trust in the wrong people
Bracket History: Defeated #2 Maximus in round 5, 57%-43% / Defeated #4 John McClane in round 4, 53%-47% / Defeated #9 Doc Holliday in round 3, 63%-37% / Defeated #1 Jack Bauer in round 1, 53%-47%
Batman
Christian Bale, “Batman Begins“
Many would argue that Batman is nothing without his toys, but just try and mess with the guy and see if he doesn’t punch you in the face. He’s been angry for nearly 20 years, and dressing up in a tight, neoprene batsuit every night certainly doesn’t help with one’s psychosis. Okay, so he’s afraid of bats, but everyone has their weaknesses, right? And Batman uses that fear to transform himself into one of the coolest vigilantes to ever walk the Earth. Plus, he’s got an array of gadgets that would make even Superman jealous, including a sweet ride that’s one part Corvette and one part tank.
Definitive badass moment: Privy to the Scarecrow’s hallucinogenic drug after having already been sprayed with it once, Batman turns the tables on the doc and gives him a taste of his own medicine. The result? The Dark Knight like you’ve never seen him before.
Classic badass line: “I won’t kill you, but I don’t have to save you.”
Seed: #8
Occupation: Caped Crusader
Strengths: Cunning, brave and has a gadget for every situation
Weaknesses: Borderline crazy, no real superpowers, afraid of bats
Bracket History: Defeated #7 Lee in round 5, 57%-43% / Defeated #13 Tony Montana in round 4, 60%-40% / Defeated #1 Dirty Harry in round 3, 51%-49% / Defeated #9 Buffy Summers in round 2, 60%-40%
WINNER:
Indiana Jones has surprised us yet again. After upsetting #1 seed Jack Bauer in the first round and then steamrolling over the likes of Doc Holliday, John McClane and Maximus, the archaeologist-turned-adventurer wins again against his most formidable opponent yet: Batman. Check out our Badass Bracket for all of the results!
