ur inspiration was innocuous enough: as fervent "24" watchers – and occasional haters – the entire Bullz-Eye staff fell head over heels for one of the terror thriller's female leads. Smart but challenging, tough but vulnerable, every minute that she wasn't on screen – provided Jack wasn't killing or maiming someone, of course – was just wasted time. Eventually, we declared her to be the official girlfriend of Bullz-Eye, because she was the only girl we could all agree on. We're talking, of course, about…
Chloe O'Brian.
What, you were thinking Michelle Dessler? Nina Myers? Kim Bauer? First Lady Sherry Palmer? Mandy the bisexual assassin? Good guesses all, but none of them hold a candle to Chloe and her delightfully quirky "personality disorder," as her supervisor Bill Buchanan succinctly put it. Once we had christened her, though, we wanted more girlfriends. Eventually we went all "Big Love" on the boob tube (oh man, do we deserve to be slapped for that one) and started appropriating women from dozens of shows to join our burgeoning harem.
And now, our harem is having its debutante ball, its season premiere, if you will. We have hand-selected 100 women from the last 40 years of television and put them into ten categories, based on personality type, career, intelligence (or lack thereof) and even marital status. We'll unveil a new list each month, and you, gentle reader, will tell us which ones you would most like to have as your girlfriend. Once we've whittled the list down to one girlfriend from each category, we'll pit them against each other and get the hell out of the way.
We only had one rule in assembling this list: each actress could only be listed once. No one took this news worse than Heather Locklear, who has done enough TV work to merit her own category, but cheer up, Heather: you made the cut, in a very winnable category, no less.
Check out who won each category and which character our readers chose as the ultimate TV Girlfriend.
VOTING CLOSED You might be able to get away with calling these women 'baby,' but you'd be wise to put a 'Doctor,' 'Professor,' or 'Counselor' in front of it just to be safe. |
VOTING CLOSED Oh, sure, they're hot, but don't call them stupid. Call them vapid instead. (They won't know what it means.) |
VOTING CLOSED Everybody always talks about hot and sexy, but never undersell the power of super sweet and cute as a button. |
VOTING CLOSED They say you shouldn't go swimming in the company pool but, damn, the water sure is looking fine. |
VOTING CLOSED They'd be the perfect person to settle down with, if only they ever left the office. |
VOTING CLOSED In your heart of hearts, you know they're more trouble than they're worth. But they're still hot enough to give you pause. |
VOTING CLOSED They'd kick your ass as soon as look at you, but you can't help but look at them. Just don't let them catchyou doing it. |
VOTING CLOSED With great power comes great responsibility…as well as great looks, apparently. |
VOTING CLOSED If Moses had seen these women, we'd be preaching about The Nine Commandments. Well, probably, anyway. |
VOTING CLOSED You know you'd never stand a chance with them, but a man can dream, can't he? |
VOTING CLOSED The 10 category winners square off for one last vote. |
Announced: Dec. 28 See which lovely lady was crowned Bullz-Eye's Ultimate TV Girlfriend! When's the honeymoon? |