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| Tideland (2006)
 
Starring: Jodelle Ferland, Jeff Bridges, Brendan Fletcher, Janet McTeer Director: Terry Gilliam Rating: R Category: Drama  |
“Hello, I’m Terry Gilliam, and I have a confession to make. Many of you are not going to like this film. Many of you, luckily, are going to love it. And then, there are many of you who aren’t going to know what to think when the film finishes, but hopefully, you’ll be thinking.
- Terry Gilliam in an introduction to “Tideland”
Oh Mr. Gilliam, please tell me you’re joking. Are you really so clueless about your own fall from grace that you actually think some people will enjoy your latest flick? Well, I have some terrible news for you: no one will like this movie. And if they say that they do, it’s because they’re either lying to make you feel better, or simply trying to come off as one of those posh, high-art bastards who couldn't care less if it’s good as long as it’s hip to say so. The film, based on the novel by Mitch Cullin, is one of the ugliest, most pointless movies of 2006, and also marks the first time that I’ve wanted to walk out since the director’s last cinematic flop, “The Brothers Grimm.”
The story follows Jeliza-Rose (Jodelle Ferland), the daughter of two heroin addicts (Jeff Bridges and Jennifer Tilly), as she learns to escape from the horrible world she’s forced to live in by finding refuge in her imagination. After her mother dies of an overdose, her father takes her to a desolate farmhouse, but he too kicks the bucket, leaving the young girl all alone to drift into a fantasy world where her only friends are the severed heads of four toy dolls. Jeliza-Rose eventually meets a few eccentric characters that you could only find in a Gilliam flick – including a mysterious woman (Janet McTeer) and her mentally handicapped brother (Brendan Fletcher) – but they hardly make the brittle narrative any more interesting.
Renowned for his brilliant work on such classics as “Monty Python & the Holy Grail” and “Brazil,” Gilliam has become a bit of a joke these days with a series of commercial flops that beg the question, “Is this guy talented, or just lucky?” Gilliam himself has to believe that he’s a little of both. With one of the most unique imaginations in the business, the veteran director continues to get work, even after his obsession with finishing “The Man Who Killed Don Quixote” branded him as a risky investment. Quite frankly, he just needs to stop creating such dreadful shit.
“Tideland” is so bad that its only redeeming feature is its finale, which appropriately ends with a train wreck. It’s like a bad high school play, with all of the actors hamming it up as these elaborately eccentric characters who couldn’t be any more clichéd than if they were given a big mustache to twist between their fingers before every evil action. Jeff Bridges is smart to get out early, but despite his short stay as one of the living (in what can only be described as an amateur impression of The Dude), is forced to remain as a rotting corpse who is then dressed up by his daughter, embalmed by a crazy lady and then sewn back together to look like a life-sized leather rag doll. It’s insulting to say the least. So is watching this movie, especially when there’s guys like Guillermo del Toro out there practically reinventing the fantasy genre with films worthy of the title masterpiece.
DVD Review:
The two-disc special edition of “Tideland” is packed with enough extras to please any fan of Terry Gilliam, including a full-length audio commentary with the director (and joined by co-writer Tony Grisoni and a 45-minute documentary “Getting Gilliam” that showcases “one of the most important and respected filmmakers of our time.” Also featured on the DVD is a short making-of featurette, another on the use of green screen in the film, five minutes worth of deleted scenes and a 14-minute interview with Gilliam. It’s not much, but it’s a lot better than watching the movie again.
~Jason Zingale
jzingale@bullz-eye.com
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