Bullz-Eye.com's SAT
11/07/2001
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The World Series just wrapped up, and it was a great one. The NFL season is eight weeks old and it's been full of surprises. The NBA season tipped off just over a week ago and there already are plenty of newsworthy stories.
Ah, it's great to be a sports fan.
Think about it: Major League Baseball, NBA, NFL, college football and college basketball all going on at once -- what else could a slobbering, beer-guzzling, jersey-wearing sports baffoon ask for?
In honor of this joyous era, it's time to figure out just how much you know about the world of sports. And how much you still have to learn. With that in mind, I've drawn up Bullz-Eye's own SAT -- the Sports Aptitude Test. Thirty questions, 10 each for the NBA, NFL and MLB, for a total of 300 points. Good luck.
Now, take out your sharpened #2 pencil and... begin.
NBA section (10 questions; 100
points)
1. What team will Dennis Rodman play for this year?
A. He'll stay retired
B. Los Angeles Lakers
C. Washington Wizards
D. The Soap Droppers of the California Penal League
2. Who has the best chance of stopping Lakers center Shaquille O'Neal this season?
A. Dikembe Mutombo
B. Alonzo Mourning
C. David Robinson
D. Kobe Bryant
3. It's been seven years since Philadelphia forward Derrick Coleman has:
A. Scored 20 points per game
B. Averaged two blocks per game
C. Shot 50% from the floor
D. Seen his feet in the shower
4. Chris Webber decided to re-sign with the Sacramento Kings this offseason because:
A. He thinks the Kings can compete for a title
B. He approved of the trade for point guard Mike Bibby
C. He's really fallen in love with Sacramento over the past three years
D. Three things: Money, cash and cha-ching!
5. What's the most unique name in the NBA?
A. Zydrunas Ilgauskas
B. Hedo Turkoglu
C. Bonzi Wells
D. Joe Smith
6. What did Portland's Shawn Kemp do after he found out he'd fathered another child?
A. Told his mom and dad
B. Bought some cigars
C. Started thinking of a name
D. Called his lawyer
7. Who will be the Coach of the Year in 2001-02?
A. Phil Jackson
B. Larry Brown
C. George Karl
D. Michael Jordan
8. To play in the NBA, you must either have a shaved head, an afro or corn rows.
A. True
B. False
9. What is New Jersey point guard Jason Kidd best known for?
A. Hitting open teammates for easy points
B. Hitting the boards
C. Hitting his jump shots
D. Hitting family members
10. Following the lead of Michael Jordan and Mario Lemieux, who will be the next NBA player to come out of retirement?
A. Dominique Wilkins
B. Magic Johnson
C. Isiah Thomas
D. Patrick Ewing
NFL section (10 questions; 100
points)
1. Who will be the Detroit Lions first victim of the 2001 season?
A. Arizona Cardinals
B. Minnesota Vikings
C. Dallas Cowboys
D. Marty Mornhinweg
2. What should Philadelphia head coach Andy Reid, who pushes at least 350 pounds, make his top priority for the rest of the season?
A. Executing a game plan that will lead the Eagles to the NFC East title
B. Keeping the oft-injured Duce Staley out of the trainer's room
C. Playing aggressive defense against weaker divisional opponents
D. Never, ever wearing that green-and-white, horizontally striped shirt on the sidelines again
3. What will be Terry Glenn's next excuse for missing practice?
A. Hamstring problems
B. Bill Belichick is out to get him
C. Depression
D. Jock itch
4. Why have the Baltimore Ravens struggled so badly this season?
A. Trent Dilfer's value to the team was drastically underrated
B. Without Jamal Lewis, they can't run the ball effectively
C. The loss of a few key defensive free agents has hurt
D. That whole "sell your soul to the devil" thing was just a one-time deal for Art Modell
5. What's next for quarterback Cade McNown, a former first-round pick of the Chicago Bears who was traded earlier this year to the Miami Dolphins for a low-round conditional pick?
A. Taking over for Miami starter Jay Fiedler
B. Free agency and a shot at a starting job somewhere else
C. A lifetime back-up role
D. A bash at the Playboy Mansion Saturday afternoon
6. In a game between New Orleans and the New York Jets last week, Saints offensive lineman Kyle Turley ripped off Jets safety Damien Robinson's helmet and, after emerging from the pile, tossed it downfield. What caused such an explosive outburst?
A. Robinson tried to rip off QB Aaron Brooks' helmet after the whistle blew
B. Several Jets players pulled Turley's long, blonde hair at the bottom of the pile
C. Turley got turf burn on his head during the fight
D. Robinson informed Turley that the Fabio convention wasn't until next weekend
7. The Chicago Bears are the first team in NFL history to do what?
A. Win successive overtime games by returning an interception for a touchdown
B. Change their starting quarterback and running back and still win five of their first six games
C. Win by a touchdown or less in four of their first five victories
D. Own a winning record despite having Danny Wuerfell on their roster
8. What do the Carolina Panthers like most about rookie quarterback Chris Weinke?
A. His maturity
B. His durability
C. His accurate arm
D. His unlimited supply of Rogaine
9. How have the Washington Redskins been able to turn their miserable season around recently?
A. Better play from quarterback Tony Banks
B. Running back Stephen Davis is finally giving them a reliable ground game
C. The team is just now starting to gel under the guidance of a new coaching staff
D. They cut owner Daniel Snyder to clear room for free agent punt returner Eric Metcalf
10. What does Emmitt Smith miss most about not having Troy Aikman and Michael Irvin in Dallas anymore?
A. Aikman's leadership in the huddle
B. Irvin's play-making abilities
C. The team chemistry on and off the field
D. All the hookers and blow
MLB section (10 questions; 100
points)
1. How can the Boston Red Sox make Carl Everett understand the importance of being a team player?
A. Bench him indefinitely until he improves his attitude
B. Send him to therapy
C. Have Nomar Garciaparra and Pedro Martinez talk to him
D. First, teach him how to spell the word "team," then start working on the definition
2. What will it take to keep Jason Giambi in Oakland next year?
A. A no-trade clause
B. $20 million a year
C. At least a six-year deal
D. Handcuffs, shackles and plenty of sedatives
3. What was Barry Bonds' favorite moment of the season?
A. Hitting career homer #500
B. Hitting his 71st homer of the season
C. Hitting his 73rd and final homer of the season
D. Hitting Jeff Kent's car in the PacBell parking lot and driving away
4. What will Colorado pitcher Mike Hampton do this offseason to improve upon his disappointing 2001 numbers?
A. Work on getting his curveball down
B. Implement some extensive conditioning drills
C. Try to add a little more zip to his fastball
D. Ask to be traded
5. What American League record did the Seattle Mariners set this year?
A. Most wins in a season
B. Highest team batting average in a season
C. Lowest ERA by a starting rotation
D. Highest carat-weight of bullpen jewelry
6. Which bobblehead doll was the most popular this year?
A. Mariners outfielder Ichiro Suzuki
B. Orioles third baseman Cal Ripken
C. Rangers shortstop Alex Rodriguez
D. Indians manager Charlie Manuel (life-sized)
7. What did Arizona Diamondbacks manager Bob Brenly say following his team's remarkable World Series game seven victory?
A. "I'm so happy for guys like Mike Morgan, and Gracie (Mark Grace), and Bobby Witt and Greg Swindell -- the guys that have grinded their whole careers just to get a chance to be in a World Series."
B. "I really don't think it's sunk in yet."
C. "This is just fantastic. I'm so proud of these guys. I love them all."
D. "Thank God I've got Schilling and Johnson on this team because, well... quite frankly, the rest of these guys suck. I mean, I think I'm younger than Matt Williams and my closer, Byung-Hyun Kim, is about as reliable as a Firestone tire."
8. What's the best asset Derek Jeter brings to the Yankees clubhouse every day?
A. His leadership
B. His big-play ability
C. His situational hitting
D. His little black book
9. Who led the National League this year with 372 strikeouts?
A. Randy Johnson
B. Curt Schilling
C. Kerry Wood
D. Richie Sexson
10. What was the worst thing Braves outfielder Andruw Jones saw in several trips to the Gold Club, an Atlanta-area strip club?
A. Strippers doing sexual favors for professional athletes
B. The club's owner laundering money
C. Underage drinking
D. Chipper Jones in a thong
Scoring: If you answered "D" on any of these, you failed... but at least you know you've got a sense of humor.
In the Bullz-Eye
The Minnesota Twins and Montreal Expos. Major League Baseball owners have agreed to eliminate two teams before the start of next season, and it looks like the Twins and Expos could be on the chopping block. But while the Twins could possibly avoid this harsh sentence, the Expos and their 5,000 fans look to be out of luck.