Was it just me, or did the conclusion of tonight's "True Blood" season finale feel somehow...anticlimactic? After spending the majority of the season waiting for the grand conclusion of the great and powerful Maryann's storyline, only to have those matters wrapped up by the time the episode reached its halfway point, I felt a little cheated. Not that it necessarily needed to be dragged out any longer than it already had been, but, still, it felt like things ended not with a bang but a whisper, which is exactly what we haven't come to expect from this series.

After Sookie was forced by Lafayette to slip into a bridesmaid dress but before all Hell broke loose, we found out from Maryann that Sookie is "beyond human," though we didn't make any particular headway in discovering what that actually means. Sookie did, however, finally break down and ask the question that the majority of the viewers had been wondering since last week: "Okay, what is with the egg? Did you lay it?" Nope, it's an ostrich egg, and it represents fertility. Fair enough.

Jason and Andy once again scored a couple of classic comedic moments, with the best being Jason's recitation of great movie quotes, concluding with, "I love the smell of nail polish in the morning." I was surprised, however, to see both of them quickly slip over to the dark side. (I really thought that Andy was immune to Maryann's powers, and that we were going to find out this week why he hadn't ended up as one of her minions.)

As for Maryann's marriage ceremony, I dug the off-kilter wedding march, but the nuptials themselves were a letdown. After Sam and Bill had their discussion at Merlotte's, we knew that Bill wouldn't just give Sam over to Maryann, so it was obvious that the two of them had concocted a plan of some sort. I admit to being surprised that Sam was actually stabbed...I didn't know what their plan was, but I figured it would kick off before the knife hit flesh...but when the ox (I guess that's what it was) turned up, my immediate thought was, "Okay, I'm not sure how, but that's got to be Sam." And it was, thanks to Bill having provided him with enough vamp blood to kickstart his healing process. I question the expediency of the healing, but, hey, Maryann and her mole claws (that's what they looked like to me, anyway) got their just desserts, and the actual moment of impact, as it were, looked good and probably earned a few cheers from various viewers. Too bad it happened at the 27-minute mark of the episode, leaving us with way too much time to wrap up loose ends and throw out a few new threads to linger 'til Season 3 kicks off.

But, okay, fair enough, let's talk about what happened in the post-Maryann portion of the episode.

First and foremost, Detective Andy managed to get his old job back, with Sheriff Bud acknowledging, "You might have your faults, Andy, but at least you got pants on." Even if Sam's naked arse had wandered off into the darkness and never come back for that heartfelt discussion with Bill, it was already obvious that the relationship between them had changed, given Sam's decision to put his trust and his life in Bill's hands. I guess we can presume that their little talk, however, was the impetus for Bill's engaging discussion with Sookie at episode's end. And speaking of Sookie, Paquin's delivery was perfectly emotional when she delivered the question, "Hold me for 40...?"

Hoyt and his mama weren't exactly making any headway in their talks until Maryann bit the dust, but once Mama's black eyes went bye-bye, the two of them finally had a heart to heart, at which point Hoyt finally realized that he'd been betting on the wrong horse for all these years. As such, he sent his mother packing, thereby freeing him up to reunite with Jessica...which worked out nicely, given that, soon afterward, Jessica found that Bill had come around and decided that it was okay for her to pursue her courtship with Hoyt. But, alas, they were like two ships in the night: Jessica got herself some action at a truck stop, leaving poor Hoyt standing alone on her doorstep, the poor bastard. I presume we'll be seeing Jessica again come next season, but does Hoyt stand a chance at reconciliation with his undead beloved...?

And it's back to another game of yahtzee with the Queen of the Vampires, but this time it's Eric who's in the hot seat. It wasn't a terribly eventful segment, however, aside from Eric's silence speaking a thousand words about his feelings for Sookie and the Queen's threats to Eric that he'd better not find out that she's supplying him with the vampire blood that he's selling.

The chatter at Merlotte's amongst the townsfolk as they tried to make sense of what happened to them without remembering the details was hilarious, with the random theories of aliens, pharmaceutical companies, and the liberal media being responsible, but Sam's claim of bad hooch made me laugh just as hard. (Am I the only one who shuddered at the comment, "I'd wear him like a scrunchie"?) The majority of the conversations, however, tended toward the "happily ever after" variety: the kids are alright, the old team's back together again, and Lafayette's getting all philosophical with Sookie. The best discussion, however, was the one between Jason and Andy, in that it resulted in the the immortal hypothetical question that gives this blog entry its title. But who would've expected their story this season to end in such a dramatic fashion...?

Tara's "sick feeling" that Maryann's death didn't actually mean that things were over was, of course, right, since when someone dares to say out loud that they think things might not be over, they never are. In the end, Maryann's actions claimed one more victim: Eggs. As soon as Sookie admitted of her planned attempt to help Eggs break his mental block, "I can't promise it will work," I knew things would go poorly. Granted, Eggs' death came at Jason's hand (and given the way Eggs was waving his knife around Andy, there ain't a single person in Bon Temps who would convict Jason for his actions), but it all came about as a result of what Maryann did to him. Andy took the blame, but I have to presume that, at some point during Season 3, the truth is going to come out...probably when Jason's guilt becomes too much...and, when it does, Tara's not going to be happy about it.

The only other two events that we haven't yet discussed, then, are the ones which were designed to unabashedly bridge the gap between Season 2 and Season 3: Sam's visit to his foster parents, a trip which sends him on a quest to find his real parents, and Sookie and Bill's date, which kinda sorta results in their engagement but mostly just serves to give us a cliffhanger for the season. Unfortunately, it's arguably the least satisfying cliffhanger of the year, since there's absolutely no reason to think that Season 3 will kick off with the revelation that Bill's dead.

Obviously, I'll be back for Season 3, but when I return, I'll probably still remember how disappointed I was with the way Season 2 ended. It wasn't bad, but given how great the majority of the preceding episodes had been, it should've been a hell of a lot more gripping from start to finish than it actually was.

If you're a regular reader of Premium Hollywood's "True Blood" blog (and I'm pretty sure there are at least three or four of you out there), then you already know that, when I was out in California for the TCA Press Tour, I had a chance to mingle with some of the members of the show's cast after the series took home the TCA's award for Outstanding New Program. Not everyone from the cast was present, and you can imagine that the ones who were there had a tendency to be surrounded by critics doubling as fans, but as the evening progressed and various folks departed the festivities, at least one man stuck it out for the long haul: Sam Trammell, a.k.a. the resident shape-shifter of Bon Temps, Louisiana. My wife and I ended up chatting with him for an extended period, and though we actually talked more about music - he's a big Psychedelic Furs fan - than we did the show that had brought him to the function, I was able to set up a proper interview when I made it back to Virginia.

In other words, I had...

Now, if you’re going to play a shapeshifter, then you’ve quickly got to get over any issues of modesty that you may have. Fortunately, when it comes to getting naked, Trammell is a professional, having done theater work which necessitated the wearing of limited amounts of clothing, but that doesn't make it any easier.

You know, the thing is, most of the time when people have to get naked, it’s for a sex scene or it’s post-coital, and they’re in a bedroom and it’s kind of a closed set. But with Sam, it always seems to be because he’s turning back into himself from being an animal, so I’m always outside. Like, way out. Like, out for everybody to see. There’s no way you can close the set, really, and it’s just…it’s bizarre. I just feel very vulnerable, standing around naked. But with HBO, of course, before you even sign up, they’re, like, 'Are you willing to take your clothes off? Because this is HBO.' And, of course, I’m, like, 'I’ll do anything to be on the show.'

Sam's not just one of the stars of "True Blood." He's also a fan...although there have been moments during Season 2 which have even been a little rough for him to watch.

That heart soufflé was pretty intense. Also, when Jane Bodehouse cut her finger off, that was pretty hardcore, too. That whole scene was really weird. And the guy sitting in the sink…? Really creepy. I know there’s some other stuff, too, that I’m not thinking about. and I know there’s some stuff coming up in the finale that’s really harsh and shocking. Yeah, there’ll be a little gore in the last one, too.

To read more of the interview - including lots more "True Blood" talk, as well as his thoughts on being eaten in "Alien vs. Predator: Requiem" and having appeared in "Law & Order: Criminal Intent" - click on the image above or follow this link!

"Is this a bad time?"

You know, for as much as I've decried the lack of eroticism inherent in blood, Evan Rachel Wood is so damned sexy that you could almost...not quite, but almost...overlook the fact that her face was covered with the stuff when she made her first appearance this evening. Or maybe it was the other woman moaning in the background that helped make the scenario somehow more sexy than creepy. Whatever the case, it was clear from the get-go that Queen Sophie-Anne LeClerq, Vampire Queen of Louisiana, was not going to be a woman to be trifled with. She knows more than any other vampire we've seen, and although we didn't necessarily see all that much of her power, all we really had to see was the way Bill acted around her to know that, man, she's got to be off-the-charts powerful. Her comments throughout the episode ranged from funny ("I haven't enjoyed sex with men since the Eisenhower administration") to cynical ("Never underestimate the power of blind faith") to a combination of the mystical and the mystifying ("Everything that exists imagined itself into existence"), but the most telling of her comments came from her complete dismissal of Maryann and her actions. In short, she can't really be bothered by this creature...or much of anything outside of her own existence, really. Looks like the holier-than-thou manner of royalty remains consistent within both the human and the vampire worlds.

Poor Hoyt. He gets pissy with Jessica for her decision to bite his mother because of her insolent comments, only to have her offer disconcerting revelations about how she's been longing to head over to Merlotte's to find herself some manly company, then put the cherry on top of the conversation by destroying everything he ever knew about his father and his noble death.

Poor Tara. She was so chomping at the bit to save Eggs that she basically tried to alienate every single person in the house. My wife theorized that her angry words were due to the approaching mob, but, no, it appears that she was just being incredibly shitty. During her awful heart-to-heart chat with her mama, she did her very best to make her mother feel like complete and total shit...and, yet, Mama responds by playing the sucker and deciding that this is her only possible way to get her daughter back. I don't blame her for her desperation, but, c'mon, this is Tara's cousin and best friend. Given everything that had gone down in the previous few hours, did she really think that her daughter knew best?

I can't imagine that anyone would deny that, if this episode belonged to anyone other than Queen Sophie-Anne, it was the tag-team dumb-ass duo of Jason and Detective Andy. Who would've thought that Andy would turn out to be the sensible one of the pair? There were laughs from Sam's attempts to explain his shapeshifting abilities to them (eventually leading to the discussion later in the episode where Jason tried to work out the most sordid angles of Sam's powers), from Jason's dramatic comment about having read about the impending Armageddon in a book (just when you thought he was going to say it was the Bible, he revealed that it was Max Brooks's "World War Z"), from trumpeting his awesomeness and then promptly running headlong into a tree, and...oh, hell, there were too many laughs to count, but the one that still resonates the most was surely this line.

"'Sometimes you need to destroy something to save it.' That's in the Bible. Or the Constitution."

God love you, Jason Stackhouse.

The whole sequence within the sheriff's station was hilarious, though I thought it was a bit cheap to have Andy be wearing kevlar underneath his shirt when he got shot. Still, how can you go wrong with William Sanderson dancing his heart out in his boxers? Their intense discussion in the truck was pretty hilarious in its own right, particularly Jason's assurance that "I watch a lot of porn to learn stuff," but the sudden decision to turn this mystical invasion into something patriotic was somehow perfect for these two redneck yokels. The only thing that would've made it better would've been to have Jason and Andy start singing "God Bless The USA."

I absolutely loved the Sookie / Lafayette scenes, particularly when it was revealed that the two of them now have that shared bond with Eric, a revelation which was both funny and disconcerting. ("Somebody needs to slap that bitch." "I did!") But am I the only one who isn't completely sold - at least from a dramatic standpoint - on these post-traumatic stress moments of Lafayette's? I mean, I understand that, given everything he's gone through, he'd probably be suffering through such a condition, but either I'm having trouble buying Nelsan Ellis's performance during his attacks, or I'm taken out of the moment by the visions he's seeing. Either way, I find myself less than caught up in them.

Maryann's abode is just getting creepier all the time, though during Sookie's sneaking into the joint tonight, it was intensified by the recollection that it used to be Gran's house. The shrieks from the black-eyed cadre were horrifying...though, admittedly, not quite as horrifying as when she curled up on the floor with Dr. Phlox. Of course, she took him out with one punch, and then it was up the stairs and - after a quick peek at a cross-dressing black eye - into Gran's old room. I couldn't believe Sookie kept her cool as she saw what Tara and Eggs were doing to Gran's things, but at least she lost it accordingly when she turned to see the dead-eyed stare of a controlled Lafayette.

Random comments:

* It was an interesting development to have Arlene's kids come looking for a hot lunch, only to have them tag along with Sam to Fangtasia and share a close encounter with Eric. I'm presuming that they'll play a significant part in next week's episode, even if it's only just to help make their mama's black eyes blue again. (Speaking of Fangtasia, it's always a treat to see Ginger pop up.)

* I'm not sure which was worse to experience: seeing Eric's face more or less on Tara's mama's body, or hearing that excruciating shrieking sound come forth from Maryann.

And, lastly, can I just say, "Yahtzee? Really?" And, yet, what do you want to bet that the game's sales skyrocket as a result of its appearance in tonight's episode?

Next week's the grand finale. If nothing else, let's hope that we at least finally get rid of Maryann!

All hell has broken loose in Bon Temps. Quite literally, from the looks of things. As Jason so eloquently put it, “This is fuckin’ fucked up!” Agreed.

It amazed me how nonchalantly Sookie and Bill walked into Sookie’s house (or what used to be her house) after seeing the sacrificial offering erected in her front yard. At the very least, wouldn’t Bill lead the way instead of letting Sookie walk in first? Sure enough, Maryann comes in shortly thereafter and, once pleasantries have been exchanged and Sookie pulls her patented Tough Chick act, Maryann slams her up against the wall. Bill to the rescue! In the split second before Bill sunk his teeth into Maryann’s neck, I wondered how her blood would affect him. Yeah, not good. Well, not good for Bill, anyway, but judging by Maryann’s cries of “yes, ravage me!” it looks like she enjoyed it plenty. She also enjoyed the little laser light show that shot out of Sookie’s hand. “What are you?” Maryann asked several times following that incident, a look of amazed curiosity on her face. Sam may be Maryann’s priority right now, but Maryann is so utterly fascinated by Sookie after their encounter that I’m guessing she will be Maryann’s primary target before the season is over. That’s not to say that Maryann will give up on Sam – she seems pretty intent on tracking him down, to say the least – but like Eric before her, Maryann has eyes for Sookie.

Speaking of eyes, just about everyone in town has those utterly creepy, dead, black eyes, including Miss Tara Mae. To quote last week’s post from esteemed blogger Will Harris, whose shoes I hope to be at least serviceably filling tonight: “While I’m sure there have been less successful interventions than the one by Lafayette and Tara’s mama, *I* haven’t seen one.” Well, Lafayette would seem to agree with Will when, after trying prayer, pleading and a vicious slap across the face, he uttered, “This has to be the worst motherfucking intervention in history.” A little later, Lafayette’s invitation to Bill provided another highlight in an episode full of great moments. Some of those moments were funny -- Eggs cheerfully asking Maryann, “You want us to kill something, so it’s extra fresh?” -- while some were of the more disturbing variety, like Tara promising, “He’s on his way and he’s going to kill us all.” I’m telling you, those eyes give me the willies!

So now that Bill and Sookie were able to team up and pull Tara out of her trance, I wonder just how easily she can fall back into it. Lord knows Lafayette will do everything in his power to keep Tara away from Maryann, but you just know she’ll try to go rescue Eggs at some point. Maryann didn’t seem overly concerned about Tara leaving last week when Lafayette and Tara’s mama rescued her from Sookie’s house, but maybe that’s because she knew Tara would be back soon enough. Hey, everyone digs Maryann’s parties!

In fact, when I say “everyone,” I mean damn near everyone, since just about the entire town is now in Maryann’s employ as she hunts Sam down. Has there ever been a more formidable duo than Sam Merlotte and Andy Bellefleur? Okay, don’t answer that, but at least Andy provided some good laughs tonight, most notably after Sam told him that Maryann probably wanted to cut out his heart in front of a bunch of naked people. “And people thought I was crazy for seein’ a pig.” Poor Andy, although he doesn’t look so crazy now. One wonders whether Andy or Jason came up with the idea to trick the townies into thinking that Jason was Dionysus (or whomever the hell they’re all waiting for), but it worked like a charm, thanks in no small part to Sam’s disappearing act. Andy’s and Jason’s reaction to that was perfect, and the bare-ass-apron shot was a great touch. It’s great to see Jason taking charge in the wake of his L.O.D.I. training, and it looks like he’ll be on the frontlines when this all comes to a head over the final two episodes.

Admittedly, there is plenty that I’m missing here (Terry was awesome tonight as the commander of the townie brigade, as was Hoyt’s batshit crazy mom), but I’ll wrap it up with a comment about last week’s blog entry from fellow PH blogger John Paulsen: “One thing this show does better than just about any other I’ve seen is end each episode with a bang...usually some sort of revelation/cliffhanger that keeps the audience wanting more.” True to form, I sure as hell want to know who the Queen is and why she has a horde of Mr. Smiths surrounding her house. At first I thought Bill might be going to see Lorena, but that doesn’t make much sense. Either way, it’s looking like the Queen will be playing a pivotal role in the war that’s about to go down in Bon Temps. I'm just wondering who's going to survive, and who won't.

Well, you know what the Smiths said: if it's not love, then it's the bomb that will bring us together. And so it was at the beginning of this week's "True Blood," as we saw Sookie suck the silver shrapnel right out of Eric, God love her...and, by the way, the phrase "suck the silver shrapnel" clearly needs to be popularized as a double entendre post-haste. (On a related note, I also anticipate quoting Sookie's exclamation, "You big lying A-hole," enough to bring it into the pop culture lexicon pretty quickly.) Eric's delivery of the phrase "she was superb" to Bill was genius...as, for that matter, was his chicanery to get hooked into Sookie's emotions. The intimate discussion between Sookie and Bill no doubt thrilled fans of Charlaine Harris's original novels, as it confirmed that they were finally going to get what they've been waiting for: a pairing-up between Sookie and Eric. And is it me, or was that the most erotically charge scene of the season to date? Maybe it's just because there was no blood being smeared this time around.

Jason was clearly suffering from a little post-traumatic stress, given the way he looked when he saw Luke's dismembered hand. As a result, the discussion between Sookie and Jason wasn't terribly surprising, but it was sweet and heartfelt, a tone we've not seen between the two of them in quite some time. You can't blame Jason for slipping into depression over their lack of family, but kudos to Sookie for giving him a kick in the pants about growing up. I doubt if it'll take, given his history, but it's a start, anyway. By the way, only a sister could get away with telling a guy that he's lazy rather than dumb and to say that she sometimes wants to stick his head in a bucket and kick it around the yard. Did you notice that she gave him shit, but he opted to avoid any insults, even in jest? Maybe he's smarter than I've given him credit for.

Could Jessica and Hoyt be any cuter a couple? I loved that comment from Hoyt when he was doing verbal battle with his mother, smacking her down for only bothering to bring up his father when she doesn't like something he's doing. But, then, I loved pretty much that entire scene, particularly when he was listing off the various types of people she doesn't like. (As someone who was raised in the South, I dare say that I've heard her excuse about how why she doesn't like vampires - "it was the way I was brought up" - more than a few times in a different context.) I think it was always a given that the meet-and-greet at Merlotte's between Jessica, Hoyt, and his mama was already going to go poorly, but who knew it would result in Mama being around for Maryanne's explosive entrance into the place later that evening?

Maryann probably would've had a chance of swaying Tara over to her side of the fence if she'd just stuck with her original argument: "Control is just a cage this stupid culture uses to block who we really are. We need to be out of control. We crave it." Instead, she had to get all intellectual on her. Once she did that, I knew she was barking up the wrong tree. It was nice to see the family bond between Lafayette and Tara rear its head again as well when he thought that Eggs had been beating her, but while I'm sure there have been less successful interventions than the one by Lafayette and Tara's mama, *I* haven't seen one.

Poor Sheriff Bud, stuck with a jail full of chaos addicts with no idea why they're behind bars. So which exclamation from the prison was your favorite?

A) "All I did was lose my pants. There's no law against that!"
B) "I only got your word that I was making it with a pine tree!"

I think I've got to go with A, personally, but I don't think you can go wrong either way. I think we all knew that Maryann showing up to post bail was destined to be problematic, but I absolutely dug Sam's escape method. Sure did piss her off, though.

And, so, we come to Godric.

You could see just from the look on Godric's face that the bombing had been a learning experience for him, but it was hard to tell at first exactly what the lesson had been, and even during the first part of the post-bomb wrap-up meeting amongst his fellow vampires, it wasn't entirely clear. But when he finally stepped up to the plate and offered to make amends for his actions, it was more obvious: he felt guilty.

The bond between Sookie and Godric was somewhat surprising to me, but given her tendency to be empathic, I guess it shouldn't have. When he asked to see Eric on the roof, I knew he wasn't destined to make it out of the episode alive, and the parting moments between Eric and Godric were suitably dramatic, as was Godric's question of faith to Sookie. Her assurance that God forgives rather than punishes was sweet because you believed it, and - oddly enough - I felt the same way about Godric's comment about his joy at the thought of his impending demise. Even vampires need a messiah.

First off, my apologies for the delay in getting this week's blog onto the site. If you've been following my various posts on Premium Hollywood over the course of the past two weeks, then you know that I've been out in Pasadena for the Television Critics Association press tour. The festivities wrapped up on Saturday night, and I spent the majority of Sunday traveling home to Virginia, and when I got there, I must admit that seeing my wife and daughter again took precedent over watching "True Blood," and even after my daughter went to bed, any desire to watch this week's episode with my wife was conquered by an undeniable need to sleep. I'm still feeling way off my game, thanks to the wonders of jetlag, but I've finally had a chance to watch last night's episode. My apologies, however, if things aren't in-depth this time around as usual.

This was a Godric-heavy episode, the first we've ever had, and it was nice to see this mysterious character we've heard so much about become more fleshed out. Despite everyone giving us the impression that he was this old-school bad-ass of a vampire, it turns out that he's actually more thoughtful than any of the vamps we've seen to date, having become highly interested in the possibilities of a vampire / human alliance. I always seem to be let down whenever I have high hopes for characters on this show, but it would be nice to think that he's shaping up to be the Martin Luther King of his people. Between his ending of the battle in the church, giving Hugo a reprieve, and giving Lorena that smackdown at the party, he just spent the episode getting more and more awesome.

Jason had a lot of good material in this week's episode, from his stupidity (I had to pause the TiVo until after I stopped laughing about his response when Sarah told him he was worse than Judas: "Why, what'd he do to you?") to his attempt to bluff his way through the lockdown (""I'm a cadet with the Light of Day Institute, I'm strapped") to his smackdown of Reverend Steve ("I reckon I've been to Heaven: I've been inside your wife"), but let us not forget that he was also responsible for doling out one of the most awkward hugs in recent TV history. Kudos to Bill for taking it in the spirit in which it was intended, even if he couldn't muster much post-hug enthusiasm. It looks like the Jason / Erik relationship is also burgeoning, so I'll be curious to see where that goes in future episodes.

You know, tonight may well have been the most quotable "True Blood" episode of the season, now that I think about. Every time you turned around, someone was saying something that made you smile, laugh, or go, "Oh, snap!" I think the most poetic moment came during the conversation between Sookie and Eric toward the beginning of the episode:

Sookie: He's your maker, isn't he?
Eric: Don't use words you don't understand.
Sookie: You have a lot of love for him.
Eric: Don't use words *I* don't understand.

The awkwardness between Sookie and Bill was already pretty bad even before Lorena showed up at the party, but with the new variable of Erik, I'm not exactly sure how things are going to play out.

This latest development with Jessica and her attempts to finally lose her virginity was really disconcerting. I mean, I obviously don't have a physical frame of reference to the situation she's found herself having to deal with, but I can only imagine the horror of knowing that every time you have sex will be like the first time...and in the worst possible way.

I guess it's only appropriate that Sam and Daphne's storylines should continue to be inextricably linked even after her death. As soon as I saw Daphne's corpse in the freezer at Merlotte's with a hole in her body where no hole should be, I knew we'd be seeing her heart again. I just didn't necessarily expect that it would turn up as a primary ingredient in one of Maryann's recipes. Was it just me, or did anyone else think about the end of "Hannibal" while Tara and Eggs were chowing down? I thought we were going to get some forward motion when Eggs became fully conscious of his ongoing blackouts, but instead he and Tara just ended up being caught in Maryann's thrall again. As for Sam, it was nice to finally see Detective Andy come across as actually having some sense, but I'm sure Sam would've preferred a witness with a more reliable background. The scene with Sam in jail was hilarious, especially his cellmates comment about his poor, scratched-up pecker.

You can't beat a cliffhanger with a bomb getting ready to go off. Hard to say at this point whether or not it actually went off or not, given that the clips from next week focused mostly on vampires, who would've almost certainly survived the blast, but as ever, the desire to tune in next Sunday is considerable.

There are no two ways around it: last night was a very strange night.

I'll post more details about it later, but in a nutshell, the Television Critics Association Awards took place on Saturday, Aug. 1st, where "True Blood" was named Outstanding New Program. As with all good awards shows, there was a pre-show party and a post-show party, and although neither Anna Paquin nor Stephen Moyer were available to stand with executive producer Alan Ball as he accepted the award, several of their fellow cast members were in attendance, including Sam Trammell, Nelsan Ellis, Rutina Wesley, and Michelle Forbes. Actually, Alexander Skarsgard and Deborah Ann Woll were there for awhile, too, but Mr. Skarsgard disappeared moments after the ceremony was over, and although Ms. Woll stuck around for a bit longer, she managed to slip out before I ever had the chance to speak with her. I hope you'll enjoy the photos of the folks I did manage to chat with, though. They're scattered throughout this week's entry.

Speaking of that, I should probably offer one small warning: I'm out in L.A. for the TCA press tour, and although I had an advance copy of tonight's episode to watch, I'll be the first to admit that my mind was going a dozen other places while I was watching it. So if I missed out on anything or perhaps misinterpreted something, let me go ahead and apologize right now.

And, now, on with the show...

Well, obviously, we knew Sam was going to find a way to escape from his captivity, but they managed to wring the suspense out of it nonetheless; we even saw him manage to transform into something other than a dog - a significant accomplishment, I dare say - and fly away to safety. From there, Sammy got his gun and made it quite clear that he wasn't afraid to use it, but...am I the only one who thought he was heading off to find Maryann? Not that it didn't make sense that he'd go after Daphne, given that she'd committed such a personal betrayal, but I was still figuring that he was heading to take down the big dog. Daphne managed to stay pretty cool for somebody who was having a gun waved in her face, but Sam was plenty emotional for the both of them. How could you not feel bad for the guy? He thought he'd found his soulmate. Instead, he got stabbed in the back...which is why there was a certain temptation to cheer a short while later, when Daphne got stabbed in the front. Not that you didn't know it was coming. I think we can all agree that there has rarely been a scene featuring the line "thank you for your service" which has ever ended well for the person being thanked. As far as Maryann, she's clearly not God, but...what is she? A maenad? Well, I can't say as I expected Greek mythology to tie into this storyline, but it's certainly getting more intriguing all the time, that's for sure.

That was a nasty break for Detective Andy, huh? I knew Cousin Terry was gonna hear about that move once Andy had gotten the appropriate medical treatment. (Thanks, Kayla, for clarifying the relationship between Andy and Terry for me.) As usual, you couldn't help but feel bad for the poor bastard when he was talking to the sheriff and trying to explain everything that he'd seen. Given his lack of credibility, he didn't really have any option beyond blowing into Merlotte's and demanding to see his cousin in order to score some payback, but it actually turned out to be a good maneuver, given that his rantings instilled further suspicion in Tara about what had happened to her at the party. (She'd already been really uncertain about why in the hell she blacked out, despite Eggs assuring her not to worry about it.)

Bill spent the entire episode trying to escape from Lorena's clutches and rescue Sookie, a situation which resulted in another flashback, this time to Los Angeles, 1935. But this is a kinder, gentler Bill than we saw in the 1920s, no longer prepared to indulge his maker's whims by feeding willy-nilly on innocent victims. At first, I was, like, "What the hell happened during those nine years?" As it turns out, it was just a cumulative effect of trying and failing to feel the same thing for Lorena that she felt for him. (I liked his present-day use of the phrase "pure nihilism" to describe his state of mind.) Lorena's reaction when she realized that he truly did love Sookie almost made you feel bad for her: "This human has accomplished in a few weeks what I couldn't successfully achieve over the span of decades." Yeah, I expect that would sting a bit...which is no doubt why she chose to kick the poor bastard while he was down and casually mention her connection to Erik.

Erik, by the way, is once again barely in this week's episode, but like last time, his brief appearances are important. It was pretty funny to see him watching the hapless morons from the Fellowship of the Sun attempt to skulk, then quizzing Isabel about what she sees in humans while denying any feelings for Sookie. Lies! All lies! His other scene was shorter, but it contained his greatest moment of the week. The look in his eyes when Stan said, "And you..."? It was downright chilling.

Sookie, of course, has been stuck chilling in the basement with her claustrophobic partner, Hugo, who also turns out to be the traitor...which makes sense, though I hadn't actually considered the possibility that he was the guilty party. Meanwhile, her brother first has to deal with a nasty case of post-coital regret (who knew that Sarah would be so clingy?), then with the fact that Rev. Steve has discovered that he's Sookie's sibling. Once again, "True Blood" successfully maintained its ongoing tradition of not going with the obvious plot development - having Jason mistakenly think that he was busted for his sexual indiscretions and blurt out that he slept with Sarah - but still maintain the tension over the possibility that he might do that. I'm sure that whatever damage Sarah has done to him isn't permanent, but I'm sure he ain't gonna feel so hot when he wakes up.

A few random comments: The best part of Jessica's sequences, apart from just the general sweetness of it all, was the unabashed "American Beauty" callback with the rose pedals. The bit with Maryanne wandering in from the great outdoors with dirty feet and a dead bunny was surreal. I can't believe I actually laughed at a scene which was about possible date rape, but Arlene's concern about what she might've done to Terry was hilarious.

5 best lines of the night:

5. "Feeling sorry for things is just an excuse to not celebrate your own happiness!" - Maryann
4. "No, that's the best I can do, dick brain." - Jason
3. "Wanna get wet with me one last time, Sammy?" - Daphne
2. "Fuck you, zombie woman!" - Detective Andy
1. "Godric...?" - Sookie

Actually, I guess the utterance of a single name isn't really much of a quote, but it sure was a hell of a last line, especially I think we all figured that it'd be either Bill or Erik who'd be coming to her rescue. Once again, "True Blood" comes through with another cliffhanger that has us chomping at the bit for next week. Anyone got any theories about where Godric's been?

All right, kids, I'm back to blogging, though given the amount of responses Jamey got from his stint as my substitute, maybe he should be the one doing this on a regular basis. Or not. (I'd be quite glad to let him do it, but I know that - like myself - there are never enough hours in the day for him to accomplish the tasks he already has on his plate, so adding one more would just be cruel.) Fortunately, I've had time to play catch-up, so I know what I missed last week...which, as it turned out, was quite a lot.

We didn't see much of Eric this week, but his scene with Lorena at the beginning of the episode was certainly a crucial one, setting up a lengthy flashback to Chicago in 1926, where Bill...oh, sorry, make that Guillaume...is tickling the ivories as Lorena tries to pick up a beautiful blonde who's hanging on the arm of a complete boor. Fast-forward a bit, and things have gone horribly wrong for the two non-vampires in the equation. Isn't that always the way? God damn, Bill was a nasty son of a bitch back in the '20s. I have to say, though, that I'm still not a fan of those blood-laden sex scenes, so I just focused on the importance of the necklace. It's clear that there's still a bond between Lorena and Bill, and despite her actions toward him later in the episode, I still think that her feelings for him are going to come back into play and hose up Eric's plans.

Jason seemed scared to death that maybe his relationship with Sarah might have been discerned by Rev. Steve, but when the Rev copped a 'tude toward his wife, you could sense that Jason suddenly wasn't nearly as upset about the previous night's actions as he might've been...and when Steve started talking about the whole "Meet the Sun" procedure, Jason's disgust at the concept was evident. So there you go: a perfect excuse for him to hook up with Sarah in the church. Not that she didn't need some sympathy, after what she'd just witnessed...

The dynamic between Sookie and Hugo was pretty funny, and his discussion about his experiences as a human dating a vampire certainly provided Sookie with a few new things to think about. I laughed when she said that, in person, Sarah looks like vanilla pudding, but there was a lot of tension in the scenes with Sookie and Hugo in Steve's office, with the constant sensation that Jason could bust in at any time and ruin things for them. He didn't, of course, but then the tension only got ratcheted up further when it became evident that Sookie and Hugo were on a collision course with oblivion, particularly when talk of the lock-in started. I really didn't think they'd end up being taken down to the basement. That's what I get for thinking, I guess.

Sam finally asks Daphne outright about the scar on her back, and she says she doesn't know what happened to her, in that she never saw what was responsible. The description is so similar to what happened to Sookie that there was a temptation to believe her, and, darn it, she just seemed perfect for Sam. Of course, then we slid right into the whole "maybe she's a little too perfect" mindset, and when he reached a level of comfort where he was sexing her up during work hours, I knew there was no way that a happy ending was in the cards. I did not, however, theorize that A) the pig was Daphne, and B) the episode would end with Sam's life being threatened with a big-ass ceremonial knife.

I couldn't believe it last week when Maryann weaseled her way back into Tara's life. So much for the "I'm the sweetest thing in the whole wide world" facade. The field trip to get the part to fix the water heater was some pretty heavy stuff, watching as Eggs began to put the pieces back together about his past, and I'm sure we'll get more information about Maryanne's connection to the tragic event in short order.

Just a couple of other random little bits:

* What was up with Lafayette's scenes tonight? It was total weirdness with him looking at Detective Andy and seeing Eric, and it was equaled in its weirdness only by the way Terry calmed Lafayette down. (By the way, what's the relationship between Terry and Detective Andy? Clearly, they go back for quite a few years.) After Pam's visit to Lafayette in the freezer, I'm interested in seeing how his dealings with her will go.

* I'm hopeful for Jessica and Hoyt, but given how bitchy his mother is, I have a feeling that Jessica's going to take care of some of his issues with Mama.

* Biggest laugh of the night: when Sarah complained about how awful her husband was, moaning, "He's vicious and cruel...and he uses the C-word!"

"Dallas vamps are serious and scary as shit." So says Barry the telepathic bellboy when Sookie presses him about his "gift" tonight. As far as I can tell, all vampires are serious and scary as shit, but if the Dallas vamp branch is indeed more serious and scarier than the southern variety, I feel for whomever has abducted Godric. Apparently holding true to their reputation, the two Dallas vampires (I didn't catch their names) who are working with Eric and Bill to try and locate Godric aren't very interested in a peaceful resolution – the male is ready for war with the Fellowship of the Sun – but you just knew Sookie was going to get tangled up in whatever plan they adopted. Sure enough, she volunteered to infiltrate the Fellowship, which I'm sure will go swimmingly considering Bill won't be able to help her should she run into any daytime trouble. (On a side note, am I the only one who chuckles anytime Sookie talks tough to a group of vampires? Since when does being a telepath qualify you as a badass in a room full of thirsty vampires?)

I had assumed (as I'm sure others had as well) that Eric's intense interest in finding Godric was because the latter was the former's maker, and sure enough, we were treated to a cool flashback of the day Eric got his fangs. He seemed to be a medieval warrior of some kind (was that Swedish they were speaking?) who knew his way around a battlefield, so much so that Godric just had to have him. I'm even more intrigued by the Godric storyline after seeing how young he looks and knowing that he's actually 2,000 years old. Dude's been around for a while, huh? I'm guessing Bill's maker can't quite match Godric's lifespan, but judging by the final scene tonight, I'm also guessing we'll be learning a lot about Lorena in the coming weeks....

Meanwhile, if it's war that the Dallas vamps want with the Fellowship, Reverend Steve will be happy to oblige, judging by the impressive arsenal he showed Jason tonight: wooden arrows, wooden bullets, a flamethrower, silver throwing stars (very cool) and a guillotine that's apparently on order. After wrestling with his feelings about vampires early in his Fellowship experience, Jason appears to be all in now that his Light of Day Institute (L.O.D.I) bootcamp has started. He's not getting the Golden Boy treatment anymore but he definitely impressed Gabe and Sarah when he helped sorry-sack Luke over the fence. 'That’s a frickin' soldier of God," Gabe proclaimed, and Sarah later showed that she agreed by…um…helping Jason put the finishing touches on his bath. Their exchange was classic: "No." "You don’t mean it." "No, but I should." It's okay, Jason – we don't blame you. I mean, the preacher's wife is smokin' hot! And now, with Sookie's plan going into effect next week, it'll be interesting to see how and when Jason's new path crosses Sookie's (and Bill's, of course).

I’ll admit that the Tara/Maryann storyline runs a little hot and cold for me. I'm definitely interested to find out what exactly Maryann is trying to accomplish by keeping Tara around, but the story didn't advance all that much tonight. Sure, it's good to know that Maryann can apparently alter the energy around her however she sees fit, tonight choosing to have everyone in Merlotte's gang up on Tara after Tara told Maryann that she couldn’t move into Sookie's house with her, but what the hell is her endgame? And how is Eggs involved? I'm still not a fan of Daphne's either. Sam sure likes having another shape-shifter around – especially one as cute as Daphne – but where did the gashes on her back come from and, more importantly, how did she survive the attack in the first place? For now, I'm assuming Maryann was the attacker (though that's just the easy guess at this point) and, since she can force Sam to change into a dog whenever she feels so inclined, I wonder if she can actually turn someone into a shape-shifter. That may seem far-fetched but there's obviously some kind of story behind those long scars on Daphne's back. And besides, is anything really far-fetched on this show?

I don't want to start any blasphemous rumours, but those guys from the Fellowship of the Sun have a sick sense of humor, don't they? Criminey, talk about playing on poor Jason's worst nightmares! Of course, he recovered pretty quickly, offering up that militaristic monologue (its effectiveness aided in no small part by the score) behind him. Come the next morning, he's smirking like nobody's business, offering up great lines about how maybe Jesus was the first vampire, what with all the blood drinking going on. It's a pretty heavy debate for breakfast, with the discussion about the first evil - was it Cain, or was it Eve? - but it all comes to an abrupt end when Jason gets called off to see the Rev. It's nothing ominous, though: he just wants to take Jason on a vampire target-practice run. Afterwards, it's back to the Rev's homestead for Ribs a la Sexy Sarah. Whew, was there any better song than Sammy Kershaw's "Louisiana Hot Sauce" to serve as the soundtrack for that display of culinary excellence? I don't know what kind of career Anna Camp has in store for her as an actress, but I think we can count on a couple of good Maxim layouts in her immediate future, don't you? Obviously, the other guys in the Fellowship are jealous that Jason appears to be on the verge of sliding into Sarah's good graces...and, yes, that is a double entendre...and when she turns up in his bedroom in her nightie, there's every reason to believe that something is going to happen between them.

Sam and Daphne are still skinny-dipping when we pop back in on them, but Sam's also laying bare his feelings a bit as well. Everything looks like it's sittin' pretty between the two of them until she climbs out of the water and Sam spies those nasty claw marks on her back. Still, it's been the kind of evening that's made him rethink his plans to depart...or, at least, it's served to delay them slightly. Sookie's ego forces her to presume that it's because of her that he's decided to leave, resulting in a angry conversation between them. Unsurprisingly, things at the bar remain a little tense for the rest of the night, though it's also in no small part because of the total lack of customers (the exception being a highly drunk Detective Andy), and the evening takes a surprising turn when Tara's apparently-still-sober mama turns up to deliver a birthday present for her absent daughter. When he gets over to Sookie's place, he has brief words with Maryann before Daphne turns up, and he and Madame Clawback start to smooch. They stop briefly, but before Sam can reveal his secret to Daphne, she claims she already knows what he is. Why do I have this feeling that they might not be on the same wavelength?

Tara finally tells Maryann that she's departing to live with Sookie, and in typical fashion, Maryann continues to wear her party-girl face and seems thoroughly befuddled as to why on earth Tara would possibly would want to leave. Man, that chick is creepy. Michelle Forbes deserves an Emmy nod for her work on this show. Once Tara makes it over to Sookie's, she finds out that Lafayette's back...and she's ready to kick his ass for having not told her about his return. Can you blame him, though? I mean, it's not like the guy didn't earn himself the opportunity to have some downtime before getting reamed by his cousin. Afterwards, she heads back to her new pad to relax, only to get the living shit scared out of her by Maryann, Eggs, and Carl, who've popped by to surprise her with a birthday party. Oh, come on: don't tell me that, after the shenanigans that went down at Maryann's pleasure palace, Tara shouldn't have suspected that things would get out of hand. And when Detective Andy went running off after Maryann...

But, wait, we haven't actually talked about Andy yet, have we? When Sheriff Bud and his trusty deputy are getting the latest update from Dr. Phlox...oh, sorry, I mean coroner Mike Spencer...about the fate of the late Miss Jeanette, Andy blows in and starts throwing around confusing comments about a pig. Well, they're not confusing to us, but you can see why he was getting some funny looks from his fellow law-enforcement officers. Andy never fails to get a couple of laughs when he turns up, and this is no exception ("I ain't drunk. Like you never had a beer in the middle of the day!"), but he really is becoming somewhat of a sympathetic character lately. He's clearly onto something, but nobody believes him.

Bill threw Jessica's new paramour out on his ear, fearing that she might well take a bite out of him, but she quickly offers up her defense: she'd never even kissed a boy until kissing this fellow. Clearly, it was good for her, as she asks Bill between her elongated canines, "Is it my fault that my fangs come out when I get turned on?" After Jessica runs up the stairs to recover, Bill proceeds to give Sookie an "it wasn't like this in the old days" story, and she offers him as much as sympathy as she can muster. By the time we return to their joint storyline, they're in an airport hangar in Dallas, where a shifty-looking chauffeur almost gets taken down by Bill. (Nice high-speed vampire action, sir.) When Bill let Jessica handle the interrogation, you could tell by his choice of phrase to Sookie that he didn't care one bit if Mr. Driver Man ended up bitten, but in the end, she just had him scream out some insignificant phrase that made her giggle. So who's the snitch that revealed that Sookie and company would be at the airport? For some reason, I think it might be Sheriff Eric...and not just because he turned up outside of Lafayette's house and offered to let our favorite Cajun chef take a hit off one of his main veins. (How funny were his post-drink dance moves, by the way?)

I don't know what the hell Sookie's place is going to look like when she gets back from Dallas, but I know one thing: I wouldn't want to be the one to have to clean up her place after that wing-ding. The hook-ups between Tara and Eggs and Sam and Daphne were the least of what went down. I say again: Maryann is creepy, and the stuff she was inspiring people to do at the function was so disconcerting that I felt like I should turn away from the television. I guess that means it's good TV.

So what's the deal with this bellhop? And why do I suspect that Sookie might end up having a fling with him before the trip to Dallas is over? Not exactly the greatest episode-ending cliffhanger the show has ever offered up (in fact, it might actually be the worst), but it's a development that piques my curiosity, and that counts for something, at least.