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Okay, you’ve written an online personal ad that stands out from the thousands of mundane and typical ads you constantly see on dating sites. (You know what I’m talking about, right? The “I’m a nice guy who likes hiking on the weekends” kind of ads that are as common as misquotes in the Florida Everglades.)

You’re getting a dozen replies a week. But because it’s nearly impossible for one man to handle that many women, you’ve narrowed the pool down to a few promising prospects you would like to meet.

Now it’s time to seal the deal: Get a date. 

But hold it right there, Romeo. Before you ask her on a date, it’s important to “feel” her out to see if she’s ready to meet face to face. 

You don’t want to ask too soon. You’ll come off as desperate and pushy, which will likely scare her away. And you don’t want to wait too long either, as she’ll perceive you as too timid and quickly lose interest.

Instead, you have to strike when the iron is hot, when’s she’s completely into you and wants to see if the real-life you is as good as the virtual you.


Reading the signs

But how do you know she’s ready to meet you? 

Well, women give off clues showing they’re eager for a date. And all the man has to do is be perceptive at detecting those signs.

Here are five common clues to look for that’ll indicate she’s ready to meet you in person:

1) She asks if you have plans

If a woman you’re corresponding with, either through email or the phone, suddenly begins asking what your plans are for that evening or for the weekend, chances are she’s sending you a subtle hint that she wants to meet up and be part of your agenda. 

If this occurs, don’t waste time beating around the bush. Grab the opportunity.

What to do:
You can play it smooth by saying: “I don’t have anything planned at the moment. I was thinking of going to a vineyard on Saturday that’s having a wine tasting. How about you, got any plans?”

If she says, “No, I don’t have any plans,” respond with, “Well then, consider this an open invitation to attend the wine tasting with me.” 

(Just a note: if there aren’t any vineyards in your area, simply pick something else that wouldn’t be considered a typical date. Maybe a daytrip to the lake or the beach would pique her interest. Always remember, you want to be perceived as unique, intriguing and exciting.)

Now, if she says, “Yes, I have plans,” quickly respond with, “That’s too bad -- I was going to ask if you would like to go out with me for some Italian ice afterwards.”

Point is, women love to be pursued. But sometimes…many times…they’ll give you a slight nudge to tell you that they’re ready. When this happens, you have to be ready to capitalize.

2) She asks if there’s a hot nightclub near you

If you’re responding back and forth with a woman who has replied to your ad, and she asks if there’s “a hot nightclub near you,” or if she asks, “what clubs do you like or go to,” what she’s really implying is that she wants to go to the club…and go with you.

What to do:
Take the subtle approach. Remember, you’re more likely to land a date if you don’t appear you want a date.

With Clue #2, tell her that, “Yeah, there’s a great club I usually hit once or twice a month, called The Blue Room. It’s downtown, and pretty posh. This is where the beautiful people go to play. Thursday is the best night to go. In fact, I’m thinking of going this week.”

Leave it at that, and see how she responds.

If she says, “Sounds great, I might see you there,” reply back with, “If you want to go, I would like to take you. Besides, I know my way around Downtown pretty well.” 

3) She talks about a movie she wants to see

This one is a no-brainer, and very similar to Clue #2. If a woman tells you about a movie she wants to see, what she’s probably saying is, “Do you want to go to the movies with me?”

This is an excellent window of opportunity for you.

Again, don’t waste time. Capitalize, but be subtle.

What to do:
It’s been my experience that with Clues #2 and #3 it won’t take much prodding to get the date. As long as you don’t appear too eager or too pushy, getting the date should be a piece of cake.

Respond with, “Yeah, I want to see that too.” 

Chances are she’ll immediately ask you to see the movie with her, which would make your job a whole lot easier.

But if she doesn’t, and you think she’s ready, play it like this: “Look, at some point I was going to ask you on a date. If you feel comfortable, let’s go out Friday night to see “T3.” It’s playing at the Senator theatre, which is a great place to see movies because it has stadium seating.”

What comes next is academic. Either she eagerly accepts, or doesn’t. 

Most likely, she’ll accept since she initiated the movie idea. 

4) She asks how far you live from her

I get this question a lot.

Since I live in Baltimore, I’m centrally located to a lot of places. So I get many responses from women in Pennsylvania, Delaware, Virginia and even New York. 

One of the things I notice when a woman is contemplating a date is she’ll ask, “How far do you live from me?”

Again, this is a subtle clue a woman uses to hint that she’s ready, or at least considering meeting you in person.

What to do:
As a general rule, if she lives far from you, offer to make the trip to meet her. But don’t ask her for the date outright. First, test her perimeter. Tell her that you’re not that familiar with her area, and ask if there are any good restaurants near her.

After that, do what I call the “silver thread.” The silver thread is engaging, conversational dialogue that is intended to get important information from the woman.

For instance, if she tells you there’s a great Thai restaurant in her town, follow that up with: “I love Thai. My favorite dish is shrimp Panang. What’s your favorite Thai dish?”

When she explains it, tell her that you would love to try it some day with her. 

A date usually results.

But I can’t stress this enough – don’t sound too excited when doing the silver thread. You can sound interested, but not excited. What you’re doing with the silver thread is “invisible selling.”

5) She initiates the emails

If you’re the kind of man who wants a sure thing, do what I described in Clue #4 as “testing the perimeter.”

If you’ve been talking to a woman for a week or so, and she’s giving off clues that she’s interested in a date, it’s time to find out for sure that she’s ready.

What to do:
Don’t email or call her for a day. If she sends you a message the next day asking if you’re still alive, then you know she’s ready to meet you face-to-face. 

Aside from her asking you for a date, Clue #5 is by far the best confirmation that a woman is ready to meet you.


What to do on your date

Because this is Internet dating, it’s been my experience that the best policy is to allow the woman to pick and chose the venue for the date. This will immediately make her feel comfortable. 

Ideally, a public place like a bar, nightclub or a restaurant will put her at ease with you.

However, if she’s already comfortable enough with you that she suggests you make the plans, let me offer this option. Similar to your personal ad, which you want to make stand out from the thousands of typical and boring ads on dating sites, you could earn a lot of points by suggesting a date that’s not the standard run-of-the-mill. 

In other words, do something different

For example, like I said earlier, I live in Baltimore. I’ve taken many of my first dates to the gravesite of Edgar Allen Poe. Sounds odd, I know. But it’s both romantic and intriguing. Besides, all around Poe’s gravesite are great restaurants and bars. 

Once I’ve impressed a woman with something different, I take her straight to my favorite restaurant where I can impress and seduce her even further. 


You now have all of the tools for success

There you have it. In articles one, two and three, I showed you how to write a great personal ad that will get you through the first phase of Internet dating: getting women to respond to your ad. Then, I taught you four techniques to use when replying back to a woman who has responded to your ad. In today’s article, I showed you how to seal the deal by detecting five common clues women give off that they’re ready for a date.

Go close.

Jack Conway

For more information regarding The Guaranteed to Get a Date Guide, visit:
http://www.weeklyscore.com/pages/getadate.asp. 



Jack Conway is the executive publisher of The Weekly Score, an Internet dating advice site for men. Jack has been an advertising writer for 10 years. His Guaranteed to Get a Date Guide is now in its third edition, and has successfully helped thousands of men in Internet dating.