How to approach a group of women
August 17, 2012
Imagine that you're out somewhere like a club, bar, gym, mall, park or somewhere similar and you see a group of women having a good time together. You spot one girl in the group that you'd really like to connect with. Yet, as you briefly observe the group you suddenly feel afraid that any attempts to join the group would be like approaching a herd of lions and trying to remove one of their cubs. No matter how much you tell yourself to calm down and just do it, you can only seem to focus on the risk of a painful, embarrassing rejection.
Why Are the Women There?
The truth is, women often go out in groups to have fun and hopefully meet their next boyfriend or lover. They figure that if there is enough women in the group, some guy is going to find at least one of them attractive and that may open the possibility of meeting one of the guy's friends. However, sometimes they are gathered together for a "special occasion," which will mean that their initial focus will be on something or someone else. For instance, if you see that everyone is gathered around and holding up glasses to toast one of the women or there's obvious signs like gifts, funny hats or birthday balloons, then their focus at that point isn't necessarily to meet men. They are clearly celebrating an occasion of sorts or a person. Still, it doesn't mean that they're not open to meeting a man or men. If the right guy(s) approach in the right manner, they'll be happy to include them in their celebration.
Forget the "Mother Hen" Mindset
A lot of amateur dating advice online will tell you that you need to cater to the "mother hen" and get her approval first. That is not how an alpha male thinks or behaves. An alpha male who is naturally good with women will approach a group of women and assume that he has the approval and permission of all women and men, for that matter, in the group. He is the alpha and doesn't need to prove it to anyone, nor get the approval of anyone. It's just how it is. An alpha male who is good with women will talk to everyone in the group on an even level and will never lower his masculinity to hopefully get a pat on the head from the "mother hen."
On the subject of the mother hen, what most guys don't realize is that she is often the easiest to pick up because she rarely, if ever, comes across to a man who doesn't tremble in his boots while around her.
When a confident, alpha female sees that you are not affected by her assertive manner, her strong stare or her direct questions, she will be overcome with feelings of lust. No matter how much she tries to hide it, you'll be able to see that she likes you because she will continue to try to talk to you and keep you in the group. Just remain relaxed, easy-going and confident and talk to everyone in the group on an even level. You will then notice that most, if not all, of the women will be showing you interest and trying to talk to you.
So, when you approach a group of women, talk to them in a confident, easy-going manner without lowering your masculinity or assertiveness. Women respect alpha males and if you can walk up to a group of women in an easy-going and self-assured manner, they will welcome you into the conversation.
Should You Make Eye Contact First?
Again, a lot of amateur dating "gurus" will tell you that you must make eye contact first and wait for one of the women to smile before you have permission to approach. That is not how an alpha male thinks nor behaves. You approach the group whenever you feel like it. Women don't respect or feel deep attraction for men who think they need a woman's approval to do something. Why? Weak, hesitant, omega male behavior obviously translates into how you will behave in the bedroom and a woman knows that. Instinctively, a woman wants to be with a man who will push her head down to "you know what" and move her around the bed as he pleases. She doesn't want a scared, hesitant boy who will wait until she wants to change positions or when she wants to give him oral sex. She wants a man who will be a man and let her be a woman.
Avoid Approaching From Behind
For most of human history, women were vulnerable to being attacked by men. There was no fair and just police and court system and women didn't have much of a voice to complain if they were abused or attacked. So, instinctively women are always edgy and a bit panicked when they are approached by a man from behind. It's just a natural reaction they have. So, make sure you try to approach from the side (by standing directly beside her) or the front. Be visible, easy-going and friendly.
Don't Zone in On One Girl Immediately
Women hate it when a man approaches their group and only talks to one of the girls. It's rude, socially awkward and is obviously just him trying to pick up one girl. Additionally, if you ignore the group and only talk to one of the girls the whole time, it shows that you lack social intelligence and probably don't have many friends or don't have much experience with women. Generally speaking, people want to meet and make friends with "cool" people, so don't make such simple social mistakes that instantly makes you "uncool" in their eyes.
If it's a special occasion a group of women are celebrating like a birthday, you should be a charming, socially intelligent guy and congratulate the birthday girl first before you engage in small talk with her and the other ladies. For example, you might say, "Oh, it looks like it's your birthday. Happy birthday!" and then lean in and give her a hug or kiss. If she's in a very playful mood, give her a high-five instead. Then, pull back and ask, "So, how old are you today?" After that little conversation, turn to the other ladies, smile and say in a fun, easy-going manner, "Your friend looks like she's having a great time. So, how's the party going so far?"
Approaching the group in this manner avoids them seeing you as an intruder. Instead, they feel good that you decided to approach and will likely begin competing over you for your attention. Sure, there is always that one girl from the group that you like the most, but to get that far you have to "play nice" with all of the ladies to ensure that they don't see you as a desperate guy who just approached to steal their friend. So, while you and your favorite girl get to know each other throughout the conversation, be sure to include some of her friends into the conversation also. For example, you and your girl might be talking about ten-pin bowling and you can ask one of the other girls, "Hey, Natasha and I were just saying how long it's been since either of us played a game of ten-pin bowling. I used to play as a kid with my family, but I haven't gotten around to it much these days. When was the last time you played?"
Knowing When You Should Collect and Leave
Sometimes, you'll get the vibe that, even though you and your girl are getting along famously, the group needs to be left by itself because it's a very personal get together. So, test her interest with some flirting and if she seems sexually interested in you, explain that you don't want to bust up their evening, but you would like to talk with her again. Get her to put her number into your phone, smile, give her a gentle, but firm touch on the back, around the shoulder or a squeeze of her thigh and then make your exit.
As you're walking away, acknowledge the group and tell the women how nice it was to meet them and if there is an "honoree" (e.g. birthday girl) in the group, extend your best wishes once more before you leave. I can guarantee that you will suddenly be their main topic of conversation. And if you made a good impression on them all, you'll be "in" with the girl you like and she'll be anxiously awaiting your call.
Avoid Approaching As a Pack
If you approach a group of women as a pack of guys, it will often make you seem like a bunch of sex-starved, crazed guys and the women will then put up their defenses. So, if you're out partying with a bunch of your pals, you (or the smoothest guy in your group) should approach alone first. Then, after you have established yourself in the group, ask the girls, "Hey, I have some guy friends here with me. Can I invite them over to meet you?" It's very important how you say that sentence, so copy my words exactly until you get used to doing it. For example, you'll sometimes get a bad reaction if you say, "Hey, is it okay if my friends come over?" because what you are offering sounds vague and doesn't necessarily contain a benefit for them. Saying it in the way I suggest will help the women drop their defenses and welcome your friends into their party.
When your friends come over, you should immediately start making introductions for all of your mates to the ladies. For example, "Hey, this is my friend, Tyrone," (and if the woman happens to be a brunette, add in) "...he loves brunettes."
Divide and Conquer
By adding your boys to the group it will be easier to break up the bunch so that you can focus on the girl you're interested in. She won't feel as guilty leaving her friends to go sit alone and kiss you, because she knows that they're involved with other guys and having a good time too.
Approaching women in a group is easy as long as you don't make all the rookie mistakes that will lead to certain rejection. Once you know what you're doing, approaching and picking up women becomes one of the easiest things you'll ever do in your life. Soon enough, you'll notice that you have your choice with women and even have to start rejecting some women because you have so many options. That's when life gets really good!