5 Trainwrecks Men Create When Popping the Question
When a man loves a woman, he can't keep his mind on anything else. This is especially true when he has an engagement ring burning a hole in his pocket. That engagement ring may look like just an attractive rock on a shiny piece of metal, but it can go off like a grenade if a man doesn't use it carefully. Popping the question can turn into a nightmare if the timing and preparation aren't planned out and implemented well.
Don't do the following five things, and let your proposal story be something she can tell for the rest of her life.
1. No Ring
There is no faux pas more serious than trying to propose marriage to a woman without having a ring in your hand. The ring is more than just a courtship bribe or a symbol that you're a provider. It's a symbol that you've actually put some thought into this decision, and you're serious about getting married. Most women don't just want a man of words. They want a man of action, who has enough gumption to actually do what he intends to do. If you propose without a ring, it sounds like just an idea you had on your lunch break, or during the commercials when you were watching TV. Nobody wants to seem like an afterthought.
Either bring a ring when you propose, or don't even bother. If you haven’t even looked at engagement rings from Robbins Brothers, or otherwise, you're obviously not that serious about it.
2. Asking too Quickly
There is definitely a time to propose and a time to hold off. If you don't know her best friend and her parents, it's probably too soon. If you can't rattle off things like her favorite color, favorite joke and favorite food, it's definitely too soon. You have to know this woman extremely well before you even think about being with her for the rest of your life.
3. Spilling the Beans
The old saying is that loose lips sink ships. It's considered unbelievably rude to gossip about how you're going to pop the question.
First off, there's a good chance that information will get to your lady before you have a chance to propose, which will ruin the surprise.
Even if word of your intended proposal doesn't get back to your girlfriend, do you really want to be gossiping about something this important behind her back? That doesn't inspire a lot of trust, and trust is something every relationship needs.
4. Overdoing It
Having a passing Thor impersonator ride by on an ostrich and hand off your ring is a very creative way to handle your proposal. It's also totally ridiculous, and would be lucky to get anything but a slack jaw as a reply. You want to use your creativity to a moderate extent. Don't ever be afraid to be bold and do something a little wild and crazy. But there are some rules you have to follow here.
If it's likely to injure, choke or make her throw up, don't do it. You do want her to say yes, right?
If it involves as much choreography as the average music video, don't do it. There's giving her a great story, and then there's just trying too hard. Avoid crazy cliches, and do something that feels natural for both of you.
5. Wrong Place/Time
No matter how in love you and your girlfriend may be, the wedding is supposed to be the public part. Some women are very sensitive about how they look at any given moment. If everyone in viewing distance starts congratulating her immediately after you propose, which they will, and her makeup isn't perfect or her hair is a mess, she'll feel really insecure. A lot of times, being proposed to will make a woman cry, and she doesn't want people to see that.
This is especially true if you propose to her at her workplace. This isn't An Officer and a Gentleman.
You also have to pick your moment carefully, or you'll end up with a random proposal in a random place. If you have your engagement ring in your pocket, do everything in your power not to let your girlfriend see it. All it takes is one moment of indiscretion, and suddenly your proposal story takes place in the checkout lane at the grocery store.
There are also bad times in your life to ask a woman to marry you. For instance, you don't want to be hung up on your ex, or be super stressed about your job or your health. If you find out that one of you has a serious illness, stuff the engagement ring as deeply into your pocket as you can and get to an emotionally stable place first.
When you propose marriage, you want to be sure your lady is ready for it, and that you're ready for it. It should be a time of celebration and unbridled joy, as opposed to a time of joy tempered with embarrassment or physical pain. Getting married is an exciting time for both the bride and the groom, and it's one of the best changes two people can make in their lives. Make sure the time and place are right, practice your proposal, and make it happen when the time's right. You only get to do this once.