DATING TIPS MAILBAG: Answering her tough questions

DATING TIPS MAILBAG: Answering her tough questions

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There are two things women hate more than anything else: 1) Boring guys. 2) Predictable guys. The problem is that most guys are both boring AND predictable – and they don’t know it. If you want to learn how to be the “challenge” that women are secretly looking for, read the David DeAngelo article below – right now…


Dave, I am recently divorced and just getting back in the game, so your letters are definitely a great reminder as to what works (and I have read the ebook). I just had to share an experience with you.

I'm at dinner with this girl the other night (3rd date) and she is telling how her best friend's husband is completely whipped over his wife. To the point that he won't make a decision or take a step without her. As she's telling me this I am of course leaning way back. She obviously wants me to say something, but I just slightly raise an eyebrow. Then the kicker, she asks me if I have ever been whipped on a girl or if I could be. I gave her the nice, long pause and said what do you think? She responded with "No Way!" Now this girl is very intelligent and fairly aggressive, but she then says that she has to have a guy that is more aggressive and she can't stand when guys don't take the lead. I thought this girl might be reading your emails.

Then later at my apartment as we are all over each other on the couch, she stops and asks me "what kind of girl do you respect?" Now that was the first time a girl asked me that, so I just said "the kind that is independent and makes her own decisions." Now I'm not sure if that was the right thing to say, so about 10 minutes later when I didn't think things were going much further, I said "I think we should call it a night". She quickly asked me if there was going to be a fourth date? I said, "of course why wouldn't there be". Then the best happens, she said, "Well, I didn't think you liked me the first time we went out and you just have me a little confused." Great stuff.

Then I think I make a mistake. She asks me what my plans are for the next night and I say I don't have any. So she asks me to go out the next night and I say yes even though I would rather hold off for a couple of days. I have a few questions:

1) What is another way I could respond to the question of going out the very next night?

2) If I wanted to back out but still keep her interested, what suggestions do you have?

C Houston


WOW, you've raised about 147 GREAT points in your email.

Let's talk about a few of them...

Women who say "I like a man to be aggressive and take the lead" aren't reading my emails (well, maybe they are... lol).

I'm WRITING my emails BECAUSE women like men who do this.

I'm not inventing the things I teach in my head, then hoping they work in the real world.

I've been researching, testing, and studying this stuff for a LONG time now.

For every thing that I teach or suggest, I've tried at least a HUNDRED others... in other words, I'm only teaching the best of the best.

When you hear me saying "Women aren't attracted to Wussies", it's not just to be cute.

You will RARELY find a statement that is true more of the time than that one.

And I mean VERY rarely.

Now, when she asked you "What kind of woman do you respect?", you should have said:

"Ones that don't ask a lot of questions"


"Ones that earn it"

Get it?

WHAT ARE YOU DOING answering a question like that with a normal, serious, BORING answer?

Read my book again.

Be more of a CHALLENGE. Be mysterious.


Finally, when she asked you what your plans were for the next night, you should have said:

"My plans are to not be with YOU, YOU BRAT!"


"That's classified"


"NO, you CAN NOT take me to Vegas and marry me"

...or any one of 100 ways to both tease her and put her off the trail of hanging out with you.

You do not need to be deceptive or manipulative in order to say "I'd prefer to not see you tomorrow night".

You don't need permission to NOT see a woman.

By rolling over and doing what you did, you put aside your own desires, and demonstrated that your INNER WUSSY is actually in charge.

I've threatened the Deuce B. treatment before:

"Don't make me come down there and He-Bitch Man-Slap you!"



Hey Dave, To start, I just want to say that you are incredible. I'm not gonna leap up and start preaching here, I'm no reverend to the Temple of David, but I will cut straight to the chase. I've been reading your newsletter for a while and it is working really well. I've always been c/f, but I was afraid of offending the woman I set my sights on. I finally have the confidence to unleash this beast, problem is, I have the tendency to start busting on a girl, and when I see it's working.I blank. A good example.two days ago, this FINE girl walked into my class, having to make up a math test. This particular teacher, she LOVES to annoy, so I took good advantage of that. Seeing as I have established a position of transparent dominance in that class, speaking out in a lecture was really no problem. So this girl (who is a SOLID 10 on my scale) sits down across the room, which is my favorable flirting distance. I raise my hand and ask the teacher,

"Is this a permanent arrangement? I don't want HER in my class." She smiles and winks at me. "Gee, I love you too." Of course I froze, and rather than saying, "damn right you do," I TURNED AWAY!! Now to much later, she raises her hand and asks, "Where do I write my answers?" Instinctively I turn and say, in a perfect sarcastic tone, "On your forehead." She laughed and replied with a flirtatious "shut-up". I FROZE AGAIN!!! I've tried making conversation in the mall with female clerks, and I get on a roll. Just as I'm about to bowl her over with charm, I roll right into the gutter. Any advice?

PM in Anaheim CA


Yea, I have some advice...

Use that GENIOUS MIND of yours to PLAN a few things to say back to women.


Here, I'll get you started with a few ideas...

"You love me."

"This relationship isn't going to work."

"Don't turn into a stalker, OK?" ...there's a list of three to get you going.

The MAGICAL thing about these types of responses is that they can be used in almost ANY situation.

Let's say you're teasing a girl, and she's laughing and hitting you.

You look at her with a serious face and say "You love me."


Or you could use one of the other "standards" I've listed above.

The POINT is that you need to have a few STANDARD things to say in ANY situation.

Practice the above three until you can USE them. Then take a few minutes and dedicate that GENIUS MIND of yours to coming up with a few more.

Next thing you know, you'll actually be saying something BACK in these situations.

REMEMBER: The point isn't to have something cute to say to women, the POINT is getting her email/number, etc. So don't worry about being too cute. Just worry about getting to the next STEP.



hello! name is c!....i signed up for your newsletter just to see exactly what is going through men's minds sometimes...i read quite a few of them and realized you are absolutely right on target on the way to pick up women and what to say to them...women love arrogance...but, to my question....i am normally the outspoken life of the party...have a bit of an attitude...and dont have any problem picking men up...but the thing is...i am the aggressive one...i pursue the prey with no fear...and many men do approach me but, they are normally the idiots who never talk to anyone...they see i am very easy going and easy to talk to...i talk to EVERYONE...i never get the arrogant bastards like i want...the guys are always too SENSITIVE...and overbearing, feely feely....i had once went out with an arrogant man as yourself...the techniques you described, i wouldnt doubt if he had your book...but it kept me coming back for more...he knew what to say and when to say it...ALL THE TIME.......a friend of mine had actually hooked us do i find them? do i get that arrogant bastard to approach me...and what are the signs to look for?....i would really appreciate this advice....i and many of my friends...HELP!




well, I'm not sure that I can help you find an "arrogant bastard", but you did say something that I'd like to comment on...

You said that "...guys are always too SENSITIVE... and overbearing, feely feely..."


Now, the funny thing is, I KNOW what kind of woman you are. You're FUNNY, INTERESTING, AND CHARISMATIC.

I'm sure of it. Guaranteed.

You're the kind of woman that men DREAM ABOUT.

You probably enjoy life, have fun whatever you're doing, know what you want... etc. You're probably successful in your line of work, have a life of your own... and on and on.

You're also the kind of woman that most men have NO idea how to deal with.

Most guys will turn you OFF within 3 seconds of the introduction, because they'll start acting all nice, polite, and sweet.


I'm not sure that I can help you in your quest for an "arrogant bastard", but I'll feel free to use your email to demonstrate that women like yourself are NOT interested in men who are "feely feely".



Dave, I thank God every day for magically making your emails appear in my mailbox. I don't know how I started getting them, but the timing couldn't have been better. I recently became single. I have always been a wussy doormat. Fortunately, your emails came along, I downloaded your e-book, and I took a real hard look at myself and what has happened to me over the years.

Here is what I found. Every time I tried to keep a girl at a distance because I already had a girlfriend or it was a girl I worked with, I would try to bust on her and scare her away. Guess what? They loved me more. I also realized that I loved flirting with old women or my girlfriend's moms. There was never a chance that I would really want to hook up with them, so I was C&F and didn't really care. They thought it was so funny and cute. Guess what? These older women loved me too. I have always had better relationships with my girlfriend's mom than I did with my girlfriend. In fact, some moms couldn't believe that their daughter was stupid enough to break up with me. THE LIGHT WENT ON! I had been practicing all along on women I wasn't interested in, and the results were blatantly obvious. I immediately had a surge of confidence and started playing the C&F on EVERYONE. I went from buying drinks for everyone to not buying any drinks (including my own). How dare someone think that they can talk to me with out first buying me a drink?

Guys, this stuff works on everyone, and you can practice it on anyone. Trust me, you will quickly gain confidence and make it a habit. Then, when you are out trolling for trim, you will be a natural.

M.L. Northern California


Yes, this is a great insight...

Often the women you DON'T want are the ones that pursue you, while the ones that you are interested in run away because you're pursuing THEM.

You must translate this "comfort" to your interactions with the women you ARE interested in, and communicate in the same way...

By the way, in your email you said:

"I have always had better relationships with my girlfriend's mom than I did with my girlfriend..."

Dude, that's not right. Be cool.



Hey Dave, A success story from S in Mass...I've been receiving your newsletters for awhile now and found them to be full of info. I answered this woman's personal ad recently, she's 34, i'm 32...I started using the C&F techniques over the phone, then got her e-mail address, continued with the C&F, and sent her my pic...She liked the pic and all of the other C&F comments I telling her that I would have to meet her in person to make sure that she wasn't a man since she had no pic...Well I met her one night at a donut shop and we chatted for a bit...To be different from other guys she's gone out with, I showed her some card tricks that I've been doing...They're a real ice breaker and they seemed to put her more at ease as she had said she was a little nervous about meeting me..We had plenty to talk about and she liked the card tricks and couldn't figure them out...She had told me on the phone that she was a former stripper at a local club..She was pretty with a nice body to boot...I was surprised when she only considered herself a 7 or 8! After the donut shop, we went to get a drink at a bar and left when it closed....I took her to her place after that, and I'm not sure what it was, the C&F, the alcohol, maybe both, but she couldn't get enough of me....We must have made out for about 2 hours that night...she asked when she would see me again..she e-mails me constantly and even asked if we were an item...and this is only after one date...I'm looking forward to seeing her again and a note to all of you who aren't using C&F, C&F is the bible of getting the hot girls! ***I think she may have read one of your newsletters before,,as we were kissing, she pulled back a couple times as to tease me,,,she stole the move I was gonna use on her!***

Hats off to u,
Dave Keep the newsletters coming!
S in Mass



You don't realize what a MIRACLE your letter actually is...

I don't remember recommending that you meet women in a DONUT SHOP and do CARD TRICKS for them for a first meeting.

Creative? Yes.

Original? Yes.

Dorky like you read about? Yes.

But hey, if it works for you, then keep it up!

Thank your lucky stars that you were keeping up the teasing and the Cocky & Funny. You must might have distracted her enough to make her not notice...


Thanks for the email.



Hey Dave, First off, your eBook is awesome. I've practiced c&f on almost every girl I know, both friends and girls I've dated. It's amazing how much it works on such a majority of women! Every girl I've used it on has been unbelievably receptive and cannot get enough of me. Consequently, my confidence is boosted. It's one of the best chain-reactions in the world. Here's some proof:

There's this girl I met (before getting your eBook), and I got her e-mail address through a friend. I immediately sent her a message telling her how beautiful she was, how I've heard good things about her... you know, WUSS behavior. Anyway, we started talking on an instant messenger for a while, and things were going NOWHERE... until I read a few of your mailbags and got the eBook that is. This is when I tried c&f and INSTANTLY turned the tables around. Now she keeps sending me pictures of her, keeps telling me that she's never met anyone like me, and actually BEGS me to get online whenever I can! Remember, this girl is beautiful... and I rip on her every chance I get!!! I even catch myself being mean sometimes when she acts like she's better than everyone, but she still eats it up. I know that your advice never includes being mean or hurtful, but I have learned that getting mad at a girl for dumb things she does sometimes makes her realize that you're not another doormat, and that you won't put up with her bullsh** just for the sake of her attention. Anyway, there was a question to this whole thing:

A few years ago, I started dating an 9.5 girl with a 10 personality. No joke, this girl was smart, funny, and beautiful. We dated for a little while, but she ended up moving to another town with her family. Needless to say, we didn't see each other anymore. The only contact we had was an e-mail here and there. Fast forward to 4 years later, and I move to the same town after finishing college. I ran into her at a restaurant where she was a waitress, and she was totally surprised and glad to see me. I kept my cool, didn't act like I've missed her, but was still upbeat and funny in the little time we had to talk. A couple weeks after I saw her, she e-mails me and tells me that she wants to hang out. She also said she's seeing someone, even though he's gone for a few months, and that she just "wants to talk."

So what do I do here, man? I want to see her, but as more than friends. I'll obviously keep on doing what has given me such great success recently, (c&f, indifference, independence) but I need a little more advice on the rare "second chance girl." Should I bail? just be friends? or try for more using your techniques? Of course I want the girl that seems impossible to have, but she's worth it. Any advice would help a lot, really. Thanks again, you've given a lot of guys a second chance at more than just women.

RM, Denver


Well, I think you should stop letting your INNER WUSS run free on this one.

Stop it!

Stop being ATTACHED to the situation.


If you want to spend time with her, do it.

You have NO IDEA what's REALLY going through her mind.

She might be seeing a guy casually... he might not even be a boyfriend.

Or she might be just about to break up with him.

Or she might be almost engaged to him.

Who knows...

But what I DO know is that you need to chill out.

If you want to see her, go have tea for an hour.

Have fun, and don't act like a WUSS around her.

You need to stop treating this like it's going to make or break your personal happiness.

Think about it for a minute.

This girl could have changed over the last four years, and might be someone that you don't actually want to be with. The point is that you need to CHILL.

Making a woman this important this soon is not a good idea, and it will probably cause you to do something stupid. You're doing fine, now keep it up!

...and if you're reading this right now, and saying to yourself "I really need to learn how to be successful with women", then I recommend that you sign up for my free newsletter, and go download a copy of my online eBook "Double Your Dating" for yourself. It's packed with ideas for everything from improving your confidence and self image to approaching women and getting phone numbers to taking things to a "physical" level with women quickly and easily.

Just go here:

Free Dating Tips Newsletter and Download eBook

David DeAngelo is the author of "Double Your Dating - What Every Man Should Know About How To Be Successful With Women", and has taught thousands of men how to be more successful with women and dating.

Copyright 2004 David DeAngelo Communications Inc., All Rights Reserved. "David DeAngelo" and "Double Your Dating" are trademarks used by David DeAngelo Communications Inc.

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