What I did on my summer vacation: Nothing!
09/02/2002
Post Home / Recreation Channel / Bullz-Eye Home
On a sunny summer weekend not very long ago, I watched (from a bar) as they plucked nine coal miners out of a hole in the ground. Early the next morning, the hangover was too bad to sleep, so I pried myself out of the rack and flipped on OLN in time to watch Lance Armstrong roll through Paris faster than the Nazis did in 1940. And all of this got me thinking: What, exactly, have I done with myself this summer? We're about to be plunged into another cold, dark winter, and I've accomplished absolutely nothing. The connection between rescued miners, the Tour de France and my wasted summer? I'm not sure, either. That's just the way my brain works sometimes.
But then again, true to the Procrastinator's Code, it's never too late to make up for lost time. In fact, this is the perfect time to get back on the horse. Kids are back in school and out of the way, the temperature has finally dropped below 300 degrees, and you should have plenty of cash saved up from months of doing nothing.
So I grabbed my little green notebook and scribbled out a list of things we're all going to do before the summer passes us by completely. So get off your ass, empty your bank account and get moving. Winter will be here before you can say "Baywatch rerun."
1. Quit your job.
Let's face it, you're going to need plenty of free time to accomplish the things you should have done back in June. Now that you've pissed most of the summer away, you don't really have time to spend eight hours a day working for the man. Take advantage of the downturn in the economy by walking, but be smart. If you play your cards right, you can negotiate the equivalent of a three-month paid vacation. It'll be like being a school teacher!
See, companies are absolutely dying to cut dead wood anywhere they can. Chances are, you're that dead wood. Now, they can't just go around firing slackers arbitrarily (thank God!) and mass layoffs are bad PR -- can't do anything to hurt that precious stock price. Freeing up your remaining summertime hours means taking advantage of the good ol' severance package. Chances are, you can score at least three months of paychecks, and they'll be glad to have you voluntarily voted off the island. Sure, you'll have to find another job eventually, and the job market is tight. But your job probably sucks now, and there are plenty of other jobs that suck still available!
2. Get in shape.
Generally reserved for spring, dropping a few pounds and losing the love handles is actually more effective right now. Most guys tend to put on at least ten extra pounds of beer and wings during the football season, and getting in shape now will at least counteract the effects of Thursday Night Football, College Game Day, Sunday Afternoon Football, Sunday Night Football and Monday Night Football.
Late summer is a great time to take up trail running. Even if you're bored senseless by running in general, trail running can be a rewarding experience. The scenery changes constantly, and you rarely encounter the spandex-clad crowd of morons prevalent at your local track or gym. Trail running also provides a much better workout. The changing terrain forces you to vary your pace and effort constantly. Almost every park has a series of hiking trails that lend themselves well to trail running.
To gear up for trail running, all you really need is a good pair of shoes. Unlike road running, where your primary concern is cushioning for your feeble knees, trail running shoes should be all about stability and traction. Uneven surfaces, rocks, and roots tend to twist ankles. You'll need a shoe that provides a stable platform, and enough traction to grip loose or muddy surfaces.
The Brooks Trespass is just such a shoe. It combines a seriously rugged outsole with a snazzy "Dynamic Roll Bar." This means that you're less likely to need crutches when you step on that exposed tree root. As an added bonus, the Trespass is a great looking shoe, and you can score a pair for around $80. Check it out at www.BrooksSports.com.
Also, don't forget to click over to Mike Furci's column for tons of great fitness tips. You can "be like Mike" in no time!
3. Take a hike.
Running not your thing? That's cool. You can still enjoy the great outdoors at a modest pace. Late-summer hiking is another great way to get some fresh air and exercise. Great epic hikes are easy to find, if you know where to look. TrailSource.com and Trails.com have extensive databases of trails throughout the world, but they jam you for a few sheckles to access their maps and descriptions. For a cheaper alternative, check out Sierraclub.org. You'll get links to tons of hiking clubs and trail maps in your area, as long as you're willing to sift through a ton of hippy babble.
Hiking is a simple activity, but a little gear investment is required here, too. Your boots are your best little buddies, so don't skimp. Every foot is different, so the right brand for one hiker might be crap for another. But a good rule of thumb is to stick with a reputable company and get the right fit. I'm partial to Merrell boots, and you can check them all out at
www.Merrell.com. Even if you don't find a boot that fits your needs, their site has enough technical information to educate you on how to find the right kicks, regardless of brand.
4. Buy a new toy.
It was a rainy, miserable Saturday morning. I was thoroughly depressed over crashing my Jeep the night before, coming home from the Star Wars premiere. The movie sucked, and I got slammed by a drunk hillbilly in a pickup truck on the way home. The weekend was shaping up to be a total loss.
So I did what anyone in my situation would do: I logged onto eBay and bought a motorcycle. It had been at least five years since I had ridden, then on my dad's Yamaha. I didn't really miss riding, or so I thought. Hell, I didn't even know if I still remembered how to ride. So when I picked my bike up on another cold, rainy Saturday, I was less than thrilled.
Until I hopped on and put it in gear. Then everything came back to me instantly, and I realized what was so great about riding. It's the freedom of being in the open air. It's cheap transportation. It's a bond and a camaraderie with all other motorcyclists on the road. And most importantly, it's a power-to-weight ratio that will blow the doors off of any car on the road, including the punks in their juiced-up Hondas who think they're in a Vin Diesel movie!
For a quick lifestyle upgrade, there's nothing better than getting a motorcycle. And there's no need to drop a ton of cash on a new bike, either. The online classifieds are full of low-mileage bikes with plenty of power to keep up with the brand-new rockets at your dealership. In fact, there's been a new trend toward bikes they like to call "naked sportbikes" or "streetfighters." Manufacturers are basically stripping the plastic off of their bikes, and toning down the bright colors. In other words, they're starting to make new bikes that look a lot like my '85 Nighthawk and my brother's '76 Kawasaki. Find a clean one, drop about two grand, and consider yourself instantly old-school cool!
5. Gear up for winter.
So maybe you're going to procrastinate a little more, and you really do plan to piss away the rest of your summer. Not a problem. But understand that winter is right around the corner, and you're going to have to vacate the couch at some point.
Summer is the best time to score great deals on cheap winter gear. Right about now, I'll bet your local ski shops are pimping their "pre-season sale," right? Well, what this really means is: "Last winter was warmer than a Bullz-Eye photo shoot, and we're stuck with a shop full of last year's gear." This, my friends, is what they call a "buyer's market."
Whether you're in the market for new skis, a snowboard or some boots, you can take your pick at about half of last year's price. Now, if you're concerned about not having the latest technology or the newest, hottest widget, let me give you a little insider information on how this business works. The difference between last year's ski and this year's ski is the color of paint. The difference between last year's snowboard and this year's snowboard is the color of paint. Unless you have the cash to hang at one of the bastions of snow snobbery like Vail or Aspen, nobody is going to notice that your sticks are 12 months behind the times. Save the extra cash for après-ski beverages, and you'll be way ahead of the game.
And, if you are one of those aforementioned snow snobs, check back next month for our Winter Gear Guide. The least we can do is help you spend some of that fat cash!
So there you have it, a concise list of things to get you out of the house and redeem yourself before it's too late. Now, explain why you're still sitting in front of your computer!
Got your own ideas for saving the summer, or just want to make some suggestions? E-mail me at:
Mpost@Bullz-Eye.com!