Bullz-Eye Summer Movie Preview
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Here are the lessons we learned after slushing through what might have been the three worst months in movie history:
- If you remake it, they will come, no matter how gory (“The Hills Have Eyes”), embarrassing (“The Pink Panther”), or excruciatingly dull it is (“When a Stranger Calls”).
- Harrison Ford and Bruce Willis don’t have a tenth of the box office muscle of Scrat the saber-toothed squirrel. “Firewall,” “16 Blocks” and “Lucky Number Slevin” all came and went with little more than a whimper. “Ice Age: The Meltdown,” meanwhile, is a smash.
- “Final Destination” is the best, horror franchise, ever.
Luckily, we’re past all that, and now the fun starts. The summer movie season starts out with a bang this year, with a big-time movie hitting the screens each weekend in May. But unlike most top-heavy summer schedules, the 2006 slate wraps up in August with what will surely be the Greatest Movie Ever Made, “Snakes on a Plane” (we already have our tickets, not to mention bootleg T-shirts).
Bullz-Eye takes a gander at the summer schedule – subject to change any minute now – and offers our take on all movies big, small, and filled with snakes.
May: Spies, mutants, and riddles, oh my!
Mission: Impossible 3
An American Haunting
Poseidon
Just My Luck
Goal! The Dream Begins
Alpha Dog
The Da Vinci Code
Over the Hedge
See No Evil
X-Men: The Last Stand
June: Following up is hard to do.
The Break-Up
Cars
The Omen
Nacho Libre
The Fast & the Furious: Tokyo Drift
The Lake House
Click
Garfield's A Tale of Two Kitties
Superman Returns
The Devil Wears Prada
July: Ahhhhhrrrr.
Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest
A Scanner Darkly
Little Man
Strangers with Candy
Pulse
You, Me and Dupree
Monster House
My Super Ex-Girlfriend
Miami Vice
Barnyard
John Tucker Must Die
Little Miss Sunshine
August: Snakes + plane = Snakes on a plane.
Talladega Nights: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby
Fearless
The Ant Bully
World Trade Center
The Reaping
Zoom
Snakes on a Plane
Clerks II
The Science of Sleep
The Night Listener
Beerfest
DOA: Dead or Alive
Idlewild
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