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Shawn Griffin: Archive


  • The Incredibly Crappy Hulk movie and the best of the worst in sports (06/26/2003)
    Taking something good and ruining it -- it happens all the time, most recently with the new movie, "The Hulk." Using that as a theme, Shawn looks at the worst of the best in the world of sports, including Terrell Owens, George Steinbrenner and Pat Riley.

  • "21 Questions" by 50 Cent (05/22/2003)
    Prompted by a song by his favorite rapper, 50 Cent, Shawn takes a look at the sports world and answers some tough questions.

  • Larry's back: Griffin ALA King! (05/08/2003)
    Call him crazy, but Shawn's actually glad to see gave Larry King his own weekly sports column. Now Shawn's got something to make fun of.

  • Sports: Can't live with 'em or without 'em (05/02/2003)
    Unveiling his GAS Scale (Griffin Angry Scale), Shawn lists the things in sports that annoy him the most, including bad announcers, the Lakers, NFL draft grades and the state of Major League Baseball.

  • The State of the NHL (04/14/2003)
    Not much of a hockey fan himself, Shawn analyzes NHL commissioner Gary Bettman's "State of the League" address from this past February to decipher what he actually meant to say. 

  • I'm back baby! (03/12/2003)
    Figuring it was about time, Shawn devoted a column to some of the questions and observations that run through his "inconsistently-sane head" each day. 

  • The three-headed monster: Burk, Jackson and Smith (03/02/2003)
    Shawn sounds off on three of the world's most irritating and idiotic figures: Martha Burk, Jesse Jackson and Toni Smith. 

  • There they go again (01/17/2003)
    Irritated by the love-fest for Tennessee's Pat Summitt, Shawn says ESPN is giving far too much coverage and credit to the female coach's 800th career victory. 

  • Santa's sports gifts (12/19/2002)
    Shawn looks around the sports world and hands out some of his own Christmas gifts, including a muzzle for Warren Sapp, condoms for Michael Jordan and cash for Indians owner Larry Dolan.

  • What I learned... (12/09/2002)
    Borrowing from one of his favorite magazines, Esquire, Shawn lists what he's learned about Warren Sapp, Art Modell, Hootie Johnson and life in general.

  • Random observations: week six of the NFL season (10/16/2002)
    Shawn says that someone either on the field or standing on the Seattle sidelines should've popped Terrell Owens upside the head following his autographing session in the end zone on Monday night.

  • Random observations: week five of the NFL season (10/09/2002)
    Shawn discusses the Tim Couch soap opera in Cleveland, the quarterback carousel in Cincinnati and Paul Macguire's infatuation with Ray Lewis in his latest column.

  • NFL: Numerous Flags League (10/02/2002)
    Judging by his fantasy football leagues, his DirecTV subscription and all his league merchandise, Shawn loves the NFL. Still, he's tired of watching part-time refs ruin games every Sunday by calling way too many penalties.

  • Random observations: week three of the NFL season (09/26/2002)
    The Rams and Steelers are a combined 0-5 but Shawn says he'd still rather watch a game between those two winless teams than one between the undefeated Panthers and Chargers.

  • Random observations: week two of the NFL season  (09/18/2002)
    Shawn wonders if anybody else is tired of Tom Brady while also claiming that Andy Reid and Mike Shanahan are the two best head coaches in the NFL.

  • MLB season saved? Who cares...  (08/30/2002)
    MLB's players and owners may have avoided a strike this year, but Shawn could care less because, in another four years, he says we'll again be dealing with all the annoying labor talk.

  • SpEntertainment  (08/13/2002)
    In order to reduce the amount of sports imitators & sports-like entertainment cluttering up his sports page, Shawn proposes that a  new section be added to the newspapers entitled: SpEntertainment.

  • It's the Orange Vest Brigade! (07/26/2002)
    In honor of those "hard-working" construction crews camped out on our highways everyday, Shawn releases baseball's Orange Vest Brigade, a list of the league's best underachievers who collect a paycheck for minimal work.

  • It's HAMMER TIME! (07/09/2002)
    We've reached the All-Star break, which this year just means we're even closer to a possible work stoppage. Shawn blames this entire situation on Donald Fehr, saying it's time to ban him from the game and work out a new Collective Bargaining Agreement.

  • My letter to Larry Dolan (06/28/2002)
    Following the Bartolo Colon trade to Montreal, Shawn asks Larry Dolan to sell the team to an owner who's willing to open up his wallet for a winner.

  • Tiger vs. Phil and Anna (06/25/2002)
    Shawn says Tiger's PGA throne will never be threatened by someone like Phil Mickelson, a man whose contentment to play second or third fiddle puts him in the same class as Anna Kournikova.

  • It's time to put the AX to Title IX, part II (06/13/2002)
    In the second and final installment of his two-part series, Shawn says instead of creating more opportunities for women, Title IX has forced schools to cut men's programs like wrestling, gymnastics, and track and field.

  • It's time to put the AX to Title IX (05/31/2002)
    Shawn says that Title IX, which was designed in good faith to end discrimination against women, now denies men their right to participate in organized sports.

  • Sports -- the last hope (05/23/2002)
    Sports have yet to succumb to the politically correct element that has infiltrated most other aspects of our society...and Shawn likes it that way.

  • No cheapskates allowed (05/20/2002)
    Shawn wonders why Larry Dolan bought the Cleveland Indians if he had no intentions of fielding a championship-caliber team.

  • An open letter to Bud Selig and Donald Fehr (05/13/2002)
    In response to the possibility of yet another work stoppage in baseball, Shawn tells Bud Selig and Donald Fehr that he'll never come back if they let him down again. 

  • Random thoughts on the world, sports...and viewer e-mail (04/30/2002)
    Shawn answers some reader mail while also sounding off on Ted Turner, Michael Eisner, Darryl Strawberry's drug counselor and the war on terrorism. 

  • How to spice up the LPGA Tour (04/23/2002)
    Envious of the success the PGA is enjoying, the LPGA is looking for a way to boost ratings. They didn't ask Shawn for his opinion, but you can bet he's got some ideas.

  • Why riot? (04/04/2002)
    Shawn wants to know why sports fans these days feel the need to riot whenever their team wins a championship.

  • Selig and Fehr -- the true enemies of baseball (03/29/2002)
    Bud Selig tried to ease our worries by coming out and saying there wouldn't be a lockout or strike this year, but true baseball fans like Shawn aren't so sure.
  • Run, Charlie, run! (03/26/2002)
    Never much of a Charlie Manuel fan, Shawn says this year we'll see just how incompetent the Cleveland Indians skipper is.
  • George Karl...moron of the moment (03/21/2002)
    With his recent remarks to Esquire magazine, Shawn says Milwaukee Bucks coach George Karl is his moron of the moment.
  • You people crack me up (03/06/2002)
    Shawn responds to some recent reader e-mails.
  • Nolan Richardson's real problem (03/01/2002)
    Arkansas basketball head coach Nolan Richardson was quick to play the race card this past week in the face of some pointed criticism, but maybe he should take a look at his pitiful graduation rate before condemning anybody else.
  • Monty can't take it anymore (02/27/2002)
    Colin Montgomerie loves whining and complaining about how the "mean old American fans" disrespect him on the golf course.
  • Why you gotta love Mark Cuban (02/24/2002)
    He may not be liked by David Stern or NBA refs, but Shawn loves Dallas Mavericks owner Mark Cuban.
  • Long live Chief Wahoo! (02/20/2002)
    The Cleveland Indians hung on to their mascot despite the PC criticism they've been subjected to, and Shawn couldn't be any happier.
  • ESPN -- Hijacked by the suits...the readers respond (02/18/2002)
    Shawn received plenty of e-mail responses after writing about the downfall of ESPN a few weeks ago.
  • Alomar trade marks a new era for Tribe baseball (02/15/2002)
    Shawn revisits this winter's Robbie Alomar-Matt Lawton blockbuster trade, saying Tribe fans will soon be quite pleased with new GM Mark Shapiro's first big move.
  • My Olympic dream (02/12/2002)
    To inject more national interest in the Winter Olympics, Shawn suggests throwing a handful of celebrities into some of the most dangerous events.
  • The 2002 Winter quiet Mr. & Mrs. America (02/08/2002)
    Shawn's tired of hearing people speak out against expressions of U.S. patriotism during this month's Olympics.

  • The Real Sports World (02/04/2002)
    Working off the successful -- and ridiculous -- formula used with MTV's Real World, Shawn searches for seven athletes to fill his Real Sports World roles.
  • Mike Tyson and O.J. -- the saga continues (01/25/2002)
    Like just about everyone else in the world, Shawn is tired of hearing about Iron Mike and the Juice.
  • ESPN: Hijacked by the suits (01/18/2002)
    ESPN, once the model of perfection for cable sports networks, is no longer at the top of Shawn's must-see list. 
  • A tale of two owners (01/16/2002)
    Shawn, a Cleveland fan, looks at two distinctly different owners: Larry Dolan, who owns the Indians, and Browns' boss Al Lerner.
  • NFL 2001 One-Liner Awards (01/10/2002)
    It's a new year, which means it's cheesy award time. Shawn hands out his own unique award this year, though, presenting the first-annual "Griffin One-Liner NFL Award Winners." 
  • The Sexiest Female Athletes...the winners and losers (01/06/2002)
    Shawn handicaps the female participants in ESPN's Sexiest Athlete contest. 
  • Leave the gun, take the cannolis, Part II (12/20/2001)
    Shawn completes his series, comparing sports world characters to characters in "The Godfather." 
  • Leave the gun, take the cannolis (12/14/2001)
    Shawn compares characters in the sports world to the characters in the best movie of all time, "The Godfather." 
  • Athletes who "Jumped the Shark" (12/06/2001)
    Shawn pinpoints when athletes like Joe Namath and Kareem Abdul Jabar "jumped the shark" in their respective sports careers.
  • What kind of sports fan are you? (11/30/2001)
    Read through Shawn's sports fan categories to find out just what type of fan you are.
  • NFL first half -- What happened to these teams? (11/20/2001)
    Shawn takes a look at the NFL's biggest disappointments thus far, and borrows a few lines from his favorite movies for some help.
  • Contraction may not be a bad thing (11/12/2001)
    The buzz word in baseball right now is "contraction," and Shawn looks at some things he'd contract in the world of sports and entertainment if he had the power.
  • NBA "Entertainment" is back (11/01/2001)
    Shawn looks at some of the NBA's worst clichés and tries to translate them for his readers.
  • NFL and entertainment: One and the same (10/25/2001)
    Shawn compares NFL teams to some of the hottest women in the entertainment world.
  • Griff's Grumblings (10/19/2001)
    In his latest edition of Griff's Grumblings, Shawn calls for a Don Zimmer/Lou Piniella basebrawl and praises the East Coast Hockey League team, the "Macon Whoopie."
  • Griff's Grumblings (10/05/2001)
    In this week's Griff's Grumblings, Shawn complains about this season's new sitcoms and also asks why Pat Summerall still has a job with Fox football. 
  • Griff's Grumblings (09/27/2001)
    Shawn writes of his hatred for Dennis Miller, rap music and Jim Rome callers in his latest edition of Griff's Grumblings.  
  • Griff's Grumblings (09/19/2001)
    Shawn complains about Larry King, Krispy Kremes, the WNBA and more in his first edition of Griff's Grumblings. 

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