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Random observations: week two of the NFL season
by: Shawn Griffin from SportsTerminal.com
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It's been two weeks since the NFL season started and instead of formulating one concise, clear opinion about this, I am going to give you a list of my own personal random observations.
If you think I am wrong, let me know. If you agree, let me know. I love getting your e-mails…keep them coming…and remember one thing -- this is just one man's silly opinion, so take your blood pressure pills and relax.
My questions to fans:
Am I the only one already sick of Tom Brady?
Has anybody gone from "Genius" to "Moron" quicker than Brian Billick?
What's going on with Mike Holmgren? Anybody?
When will the "Luck of the Bears" finally run out?
Is there anybody more fun to watch on the sidelines than Bill Cowher and Steve Spurrier? (Trust me on this one, Bill Cowher will pull a Woody Hayes and hit an opposing player in the heat of the game at some point in his career, you can count on it.)
QBs I would least like to have with my team down at the end of the game:
Kordell Stewart
Trent Green
Vinny Testaverde
Things that will happen this season:
The Rams and Steelers, both 0-2, will have better records at the end of the season than the Panthers and Chargers, both 2-0 at this point.
Fred Taylor will ruin thousands of fantasy seasons.
Dick Vermeil will cry like a jilted school girl at least twice this season.
NFL officials will take a victory away from a team by making a bad call at least five more times this season, and the league office will defend it somehow.
Best Players:
Donovan McNabb
Brian Urlacher
Dumbest Players:
LaVar Arrington (jumps offsides on a FG attempt on fourth and two? Are you kidding me?)
Dwayne Rudd
Best coaches:
Mike Shanahan
Andy Reid
Most exciting teams that won't win:
Buffalo
Atlanta
Most boring teams that will win:
New York Giants
Miami Dolphins
Best fantasy players this season:
Deuce McAllister
Ricky Williams
Most frustrating fantasy players this season:
Keyshawn Johnson (He's ruined at least three fantasy football seasons for me. I hate him.)
Fred Taylor (Is there anything more delicate than checking out the assets of another girl while you are in the car with your girlfriend or wife without her catching you? The answer is yes, and he wears #28 for the Jags.)
Corey Dillon (275 yards and four TDs one week, 18 yards and no scores the next.)
Worst coaches for fantasy players:
Tony Dungy
Marty Schottenheimer
Mike Shanahan (Stop hording all of the good RB's, you dope!)
Best coaches for fantasy players:
Steve Spurrier (Why else would I choose a guy named Derrius Thompson in the third round of my fantasy draft?)
Mike Martz
Jim Haslett (Instead of RB by committee, he trades a Pro-Bowl caliber RB and goes with the Deuce. As a fantasy footballer, you have to respect that.)
Worst things about the NFL:
The officials. When will the NFL hire full-time officials? They are the most incompetent group of people since the 1991 Iraqi Army.
The NFL front office. They defend the officials, no matter how bad the officiating is. They actually have idiots in the press box who make sure that shirts are tucked in and uniforms meet specifications...I can go on and on but I am starting to get fired up so I will stop now.
Most of the broadcasters. I know everybody loves John Madden, but the guy doesn't do anything for me. He kisses the ass of every player and coach and rarely has anything truly insightful to say, besides BOOM!
The Monday Night Football schedule. Why they can't decide who to show on Monday nights DURING the season is beyond me. Teams like Baltimore, Seattle and the Jets are on the schedule for this season. Need I say more?
Bad teams and bad organizations. What would you do if you were a Bengal or Cardinal fan? And why do my fantasy opponents always have players going against those teams when they play me?
Stuart Scott of ESPN on Monday Night Countdown. I wish somebody would go Boo Yah! upside his head.
Best things about the NFL:
Gambling and fantasy football. Is there anything better than rooting for AND GETTING a meaningless TD or FG at the end of a blowout to put you OVER?
Why would I watch the Bungles play the Falcons this Sunday Night on ESPN?
A. I put money on the game.
B. T.J. Duckett's on my fantasy team.
C. My brother is Michael Vick.
I am guessing most people would choose A or B.
Contracts are not guaranteed. We don't have to suffer a whole season watching some washed-up has-been screw up our team because he signed a guaranteed six-year deal when he was halfway decent like we do in baseball (thanks, Charles Nagy). If you don't produce in the NFL, you are out, baby. I love that. Why do you think the games are so competitive and fun to watch? Because the competition is cutthroat, that's why.
Gives me something to do on Sunday morning, afternoon and night, and something to do on Monday night.
Going to a game with your closest friends, tailgating and rooting your team on to victory, then heading off to the local strip joint to celebrate with some underage heroin addicts who charge you 25 bucks to see them naked. Drinking so much that you forget about the plans to have dinner with your girlfriend that night, then somehow finding your way home only to stumble in the door to find you girlfriend staring at you in total disgust, wondering why she has spent a minute with you, let alone YEARS, then accidentally leaving your strip joint receipts and pink funny money on the floor of the bathroom, where she finds it and files it away for future battles.
Priceless.
That's the NFL and I love it.
See more of Shawn at SportsTerminal.com,
and e-mail him at shawng@sportsterminal.com!
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