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No cheapskates allowed
by: Shawn Griffin from SportsTerminal.com
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When Larry Dolan bought the Indians from Dick Jacobs for $323 million a couple years ago, he and some others had a lot to say. Let's revisit those comments now that we have had a couple years to evaluate Dolan's ownership.
Not only am I going to give you the quotes, but I am going to give you my usual analysis, and what needs to be done to rectify the sad situation shaping up on the shores of the Great Lake Erie.
Quote #1:
"I see myself as curator of a significant icon of Cleveland," he says. "My job is to protect it."
My response:
Well, Larry, you aren't doing a very good job of it. I hope you don't work security at the airport during your off-hours. And I wouldn't get too excited about the open position of curator at the Cleveland Museum of Art. With the way things have been going, I wouldn't hire you to watch my dog. Instead of being a curator, it seems to me that you have done as much as you can to destroy this team. Remember the movie, "Major League"? I am starting to think you are Rachel Phelps with male genitalia. Do you own a pet Pekinese by any chance?
Quote #2:
"This is a family asset."
My response:
That's just great…another cheap family with a son who never did anything on his own waiting in the wings to take over for the cheap old man. I thought when we got rid of the Modells that we officially were prohibited from having that type of situation ever again. I thought it was like the chicken pox -- once you have them and get rid of them, they signed a pact to never return. But, lo and behold, they are back! I say to you, Larry -- "We had a pact!" (Thank you for that one, Costanza.)
Quote #3:
"It is also a team that fans can reasonably expect to get into the postseason every year."
My response:
Postseason? They'll be lucky to make it into the postseason in the next five to 10 seasons, let alone every year! How do you expect a team with Brady Anderson, Chuck Finley, Travis Fryman and Mark Wohlers playing major roles to go anywhere? On top of that, you re-signed a bonehead like Charlie Manuel to lead them. Charlie Manuel would have a tough time steering a rowboat, let alone managing and leading a Major League Baseball team.
Quote #4:
"We are extremely excited that this day has arrived," Dolan said.
My response:
At least somebody was excited. Do you know when I was excited? When I found out that a multi-freakin' BILLIONAIRE was buying my favorite football team. Why would I be excited when a Chardon lawyer buys my favorite baseball team? I mean, Larry, unless you are an ambulance-chasing personal injury attorney without any semblance of scruples like Peter Angelos of the Orioles, you aren't ever going to be a billionaire. You know why that really sucks? Because unlike the other leagues, Major League Baseball doesn't have a salary cap. What does that mean? It means that the fans of teams with cheap owners are screwed. Yes, instead of being excited when you bought the team, I was pissed.
Quote #5:
"It is a dream come true for me and my family. Ownership of this franchise is a great honor and comes with an incredible sense of responsibility. Cleveland has the best baseball fans in America."
My response:
"Sense of responsibility"? I would like to know your definition of "responsibility". Is gutting a winning team and replacing it with stiffs like Brady Anderson, Ricky Gutierrez and Mark Wohlers is your definition of "responsible"? I call that "stupidity" not "responsibility"…I must agree, though, with your assessment of us fans. Thanks for the compliment. We are the best fans.
And finally, Quote #6, this one by Dick Jacobs:
"The sale of this franchise to Larry Dolan fulfills my strong desire to turn the team over to someone who is deeply committed to Cleveland and its tremendous fans. Larry and his family have the enthusiasm and strongest desire to continue the success of this ballclub well into the new century."
My response:
Well, Dick, what can I say? You did so much to bring winning baseball back to Cleveland that I think you have earned the right to be off-limits to critics like myself. But let me say this: You saved your worst move for last. Why did you sell this team to Larry Dolan? Why couldn't you hold out for somebody with deeper pockets?
So what has owner Larry Dolan done for the Tribe and its fans?
Among other things, he has mandated a significant slash in payroll, allowed Manny Ramirez and Juan Gonzalez to leave, along with Robbie Alomar…thus pulling off the trifecta of ridding this team of three future Hall-of-Famers in two years. Now that's impressive.
Mr. Dolan, please sell this team.
It's obvious you don't have the money to own a Major League Baseball team. Don't give us your crap about "re-tooling." That's just a convenient way for you to say that you don't have enough money to own the team. Some fans love to point out that the Tribe still has a high payroll under Larry. The truth is that $27 million is tied up with the following garbage -- Charles Nagy ($6 million), Fryman ($5.825 million), Finley ($5 million), Jaret Wright ($4.25 million) and reserve (and released) Wil Cordero ($4.17 million). Fortunately for Larry, Nagy, Finley and Cordero are in the final years of their contracts. Dolan didn't sign any of those guys. What will he do with the extra $15 million next season? Sign some free agents? Sure, the chance of that happening is about as high as Dennis Rodman being disease-free.
I know many of you out there are saying, "What are you talking about? He just bought them, he won't sell them!"
I have a solution that will make everybody happy.
According to Forbes Magazine, the team is now worth $360 million.
Sell the team now, Larry, and earn $37 million. For crying out loud, your brother, Cablevision chairman Charles Dolan, offered to pay $790 million for the Boston Red Sox! (Charles' Cablevision Systems Corp. owns, among other things, the New York Knicks, the New York Rangers and Madison Square Garden.)
Sell the team to big brother Charles. That keeps it "in the Family." And it will make us fans happy because Charles has more money than you could ever imagine.
For the love of God, Larry, please sell this team. If you are a true Tribe fan with the interests of us fans as your top priority, you will sell this team. Today. Please.
See more of Shawn's columns at SportsTerminal.com,
and feel free to e-mail him at shawng@sportsterminal.com!
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