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Long live Chief Wahoo!
by: Shawn Griffin from SportsTerminal.com
Pg 1 of 1
 



Recently, the Cleveland Indians made some changes to their uniforms. 

Many people out there were wondering if this meant the end of one of the most beloved mascots in sports (in my opinion) -- Chief Wahoo. A gaggle of kooks have been protesting against the Indians for Chief Wahoo, Florida State for the Seminoles, the Redskins in the NFL, and many other pro and college sports teams for their refusal to give in to their demands. This is the latest "cause du jour" of the Left. 

Thankfully, the Cleveland Indians organization didn't give in to this group of scraggly-haired thought police who patrols the shores of America with their billy clubs and jack boots. Larry Dolan and the Indians organization refused to buckle to this rising tide of vitriolic, anti-American politically correct horsecrap. For that, I say thank you. It's about time somebody stood up to this group and showed them for what they are rather than bowing to them and their worthless causes. 

How absurd is it, in the climate we live in today, to worry about something so petty as a sports team mascot or nickname? And why is it assumed that these nicknames and mascots are chosen in order to disparage a particular group of people? The funny thing is, if an owner wanted to call his team the "Whiteys," the same morons who are against Chief Wahoo and the Redskins would be protesting against the owner of that team for being a racist. You simply can't win with these people. They will not be satisfied until everything America stands for is torn down and gutted. 

I can't believe human energy is wasted on such a miniscule, ridiculous thing.

I decided to interview some other groups who are directly affected by team nicknames and mascots in order to find out if they are offended in any way. Here are my findings….

I started with America's pastime -- Major League Baseball. 

Minnesota Twins: I called the Twins Foundation -- an international membership organization and primary research information center on twins and other multiples. It serves twins, their families, the media, medical and social scientists and the general public through its publications. I spoke to Virginia Thompson, one half of an identical set of twins. She said that although many twins are not bothered by the fact that Minnesota goes by the nickname "Twins," she is. She said that she dreads baseball season, especially when the Twins lose. "I walk around, desperately praying that Minnesota won that day. If they lose, I feel as though all Twins fans are staring at me, with nothing but hatred in their eyes. It's just awful." Wow. 

Chicago White Sox and Boston Red Sox: I spoke to both white and red socks about this. They were proud to be a part of the team histories in Chicago and Boston. The way that only white and red socks are singled out didn't seem to bother most of the other colors in the sock population. However, blue socks were the exception. "Everybody loves the color blue," a blue sock told me. He went on. "Why there are only white and red socks and not blue, when it's a more popular color, is a national disgrace." Mr. Blue sock was hurt because he was NOT a team nickname, not because he WAS. Interesting. 

I moved on to the NFL.

New York Jets: Airplanes throughout the land told me they were very happy with their portrayal on the side of the N.Y. Jets helmet. They were somewhat offended that the Jets didn't throw the ball more often, but overall, not one told me of any bad feelings in the Jet community because of the nickname. The closest I got to a complaint was a comment from this Jet -- "I would prefer the name, 'aviation objects' over Jets. Aviation objects covers a wider range of us, including helicopters and slower moving aircraft. We must not forget them." How could we? 

Buffalo Bills: Men named Bill are not at all happy about the nickname Bills. I called the "Men Named Bill" support group, based in Madison, Wisconsin. I spoke to Bill Nelson. He said, "Why do they call themselves the Bills? I mean, why not the Buffalo 'Bobs' or the Buffalo 'Bens'? When the Bills lost four Super Bowls in a row, I started telling people my name was Phil. I couldn't stand to be known as Bill when they were losing. People would point at me and call me Bill and laugh. I couldn't take it anymore. We have a meeting set up with NFL Commissioner Paul Tagliabue to discuss this. Hopefully, the NFL will do something about it." He then thanked me for shining light on this serious subject. When I told him I didn't think it was serious, he verbally berated me in a profanity-laced tirade. 

The NBA.

Denver Nuggets: Chicken McNuggets are furious to be associated with the Denver Nuggets. One nugget told me, "Why can't they get ever win? When was the last time they were even in the playoffs?" He went on. "Everybody said when chicken tenders came out, that was the end of the chicken McNugget. Well, guess what? We are still here. We won't let the losing ways of the Denver Nuggets take us down, either." Very defiant -- those words best describe the attitude of the Nugget...

Miami Heat: Warm-weather cities have banded together to protest using the nickname "Heat." I spoke to Phoenix, who said, "Imagine the dread I face when attempting to explain the concept of dry heat to people. Now I have to answer for the exploits of Pat Riley and the Miami Heat." He also said, "Imagine the outcry from Chicago, Boston and Minnesota if there were teams called the 'snow' or the 'cold.'" Miami was a bit more positive about it. "It doesn't bother me too much. Phoenix and Houston called me and I joined up with them in this cause because they are dear friends, but just between us, I could care less." You gotta love Miami. 

Finally, the NHL.

St. Louis Blues: Unhappy people all over are upset that the term "Blues" is used to describe the NHL franchise in St. Louis. "This is a total degradation of the depressed people in the world," Alanis Morissette told me. "Just because we aren't happy, we don't need to see a bunch of hockey players skating around, hugging each other with smiling faces after scoring a goal. Every time that happens, I become happy. This is not good for me, or any of the unhappy people in this world." Well said, Mrs. Happy. Now go back to writing depressing songs about how badly you were treated in your last relationship.... 

Anaheim Mighty Ducks: The ducks were more concerned with why the word "Mighty" has to be used as an adjective to describe them. I called Daffy Duck. Retired and in relatively good health in Boca Raton, Florida, Daffy told me the following: "I used Daffy as a stage name. It was part of my act. But to use the word Mighty before Duck is to indirectly say that the word duck alone is not worthy. You don't see a 'Mighty' before the Eagles or the Falcons. Why is that? Are they considered mighty without question and plain old ducks are just a bunch of wimps?" Who knows, Daffy. 

Absurd, isn't it? I totally agree.


See more of Shawn's columns at SportsTerminal.com!


Other Columns By Shawn Griffin

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