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Leave the gun, take the cannolis by: Shawn Griffin from SportsTerminal.com	Pg 1 of 1

All my life I've been told that life isn't fair. When I flipped over my Batman motorcycle when I was five and cracked my head open, I sat there and cried and told my Mom that it wasn't fair that this happened to me and she told me life isn't always fair. When I was cut from the eighth grade basketball team because I couldn't go to my left (or shoot, pass or dribble, for that matter), my Dad told me that life isn't always fair. When the worst teacher in the history of the universe, Mrs. Frantz, took my Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue away from me at school, and I made a big stink about it and had to go to the principal's office, I told him it wasn't fair of her to take my Sports Illustrated away. The gutless wonder replied, "Shawn, life isn't always fair." (Speaking of teachers, the best portrayal of teachers ever was the Jim McAllister part played by Matthew Broderick in the movie "Election" -- it was a classic. All the way from the cheesy 1970s style hard rock band he "jammed" with to the outdated clothes he wore to his monotonous job every day…he had the role of a teacher nailed.) As I started to write this column, I realized that I am finally, for once, on the other side of the "Life isn't fair" argument. Next week, if the company I work for decides to can my sorry ass, I may find myself back on the wrong side, but right now, I am actually getting paid (not that much yet, but still, it is something) to write about sports and other crap that I find interesting. Yes, life isn't always fair, is it? Anyways...it's that time of the year again. A very special time. I like to call it "Godfather Time." That's right -- the piece of cinematic perfection based on the novel by Mario Puzzo and directed by Francis Ford Coppola is back. For some reason, the USA network, TNT, A&E, and some other cable stations decide to run the Godfather movies over and over during the holiday season. They have become as much of a holiday classic at the Griffin compound as "It's a Wonderful Life" and "Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer." If you are a red-blooded American male over the age of 12, and you haven't yet watched any of the Godfather movies, please refer to yourself as "Sally" from now on. If you have not watched the Godfather yet, DO NOT ready any further AFTER this paragraph. Scrounge together some change, get in your Pinto, drive up to the nearest Blockbuster, and ask the pimply faced young punk working the desk to get you the Godfather trilogy set. Go home and watch them all, one after the other. Call in sick to work if you have to. Tell your wife or girlfriend or anybody else that may break your concentration while you are watching the movie that you are not to be disturbed under any circumstances for nine hours. You must do this if you want to remain a member, in good standing, of the male race. Hurry! Go now! Okay, back to business for the rest of us. No matter how many times I watch this epic movie, I find another part that I missed in the 734 times I have already watched it previously. From the beginning of the film, when Connie Corleone weds bookie Carlo in an extravagant wedding, until the climactic end when Michael settles all family business, "The Godfather" illuminates the dichotomy of both the Mafia and the American Dream. No zoning out while watching this movie -- if you do, you will miss something. That something WILL be important, because masterpieces such as this one don't contain any scenes that do not add some type of value to the movie. Trust me on this fact. While watching it for the 735th time the other day, I was struck by the similarity between some of the main characters in the movie and some characters in the sports world. Well, actually, I wasn't, but after seeing this movie so many times my mind started to wander at various points and I figured -- what the hell, this isn't a bad idea for a column...let's compare some sports figures to some of the main characters in the movie...so WHAM! Here you go…. Here are the main characters of this 1972 classic and some of the sports figures who remind me of them. Don "Vito" Corleone The main man in the movie. Marlon Brando was put on this earth just for this role. How can you ever forget -- "I'm gonna make him an offer he can't refuse." OR "Someday, and that day may never come, I will call upon you to do a service for me. But until that day, accept this justice as a gift on my daughter's wedding day." This was one of the greatest acting jobs in the history of cinema. An absolute masterpiece. In the film, he heads one of New York's most powerful crime families not by threats or extortion, but by calling in favors. That's the beauty of his character -- he is a sympathetic figure even though he is the Godfather of the largest criminal enterprise in the country. Who would best fill the role of the "Don" in the world of sports? Joe Torre. The quiet one sits in the dugout and leads the Yankees to four World Series Championships in five years...not by ruling his team with an iron fist, but by his calm demeanor. Torre doesn't have to yell at his players or motivate them in any way. He is a sympathetic figure even though he manages one of the most despised franchises in sports - -the Yankees. He is the "Don" of Major League Baseball. Michael Corleone The son of the Don, Michael (played by a young Al Pacino) comes back from World War II a war hero and, after the assassination attempt on his father's life, decides to join the family business of organized crime. Michael takes over and rules with the cold, steely ruthlessness of a greed-filled business executive. Sometimes the stare of Michael is enough to scare people. He lived by the motto, "It's not personal, it's business." Jimmy Johnson came to Dallas in 1988 and, without shedding a tear, replaced a living legend in Tom Landry. Did he respect Landry? Of course, but getting rid of him was business, not personal…so Johnson let everybody else worry about the way Landry was treated and went about the business of building the Cowboys into World Champions. He didn't let the personal stuff get in the way of business. Just as the Corleone Family was lucky to have Michael, Dallas fans were lucky to have Jimmy. Fredo Corleone Fredo, affectionately called "Freddie" by his brothers, is the one Corleone son who didn't have too much between the ears. His famous line in the movie is when he tells Michael, "I'm not dumb. I'm smaaart!" You know when you have to tell people you're smart that you really are pretty dumb. He commits the cardinal sin of being disloyal to the Corleone Family. Michael says to Fredo, "You're my older brother...and I love you...but don't ever take sides, with anyone, against the family again. Ever." For that breach, Fredo is sent fishing whereupon he is murdered. Every time I see NFL referee Phil Luckett, I am reminded of poor dumb Fredo. This absolute moron does not belong in the NFL. First off, a couple years ago, he calls a TD in the final seconds for the Jets against the Seahawks, even though Vinny Testaverde's knee hits the ground about three yards before the goal line. Then, he screws the Steelers in an OT coin toss by not giving them the call even though tails was called and the coin came up tails. Just a couple weeks ago, he gets in the way of Joe Horn and trips the Saint WR, who had a clear path to the end zone. Instead of Horn catching the TD pass, the ball innocently fell to the ground with Luckett and Horn tangled up on the carpet. The Saints won anyways, but could you imagine how many fantasy football owners lost a game because of this bumbling fool? Tagliabue needs to sit Luckett down and tell him to get lost. I can just see the little worm right now..."C'mon, Commish, I'm not dumb. I'm smaaart!" Santino "Sonny" Corleone The hot-headed Corleone son played by James Caan, Sonny is murdered in a hail of bullets at a toll booth in one of the more memorable scenes from the movie. Sonny was the type of guy who shot first and then asked questions...he was not exactly a deliberative, calm guy. The Sicilian in him clearly showed through...he wore his emotions on his sleeve. Who reminds me of Sonny? Mike Ditka. Da coach was the type of guy who blew his stack in just about every game. If he was mad about something, the whole stadium knew it. Who will ever forget his sideline tirade against QB Jim Harbaugh at the Metrodome, spit flying through the air as Ditka berated the young QB for throwing an interception? Ditka shot from his artificial hip, and asked questions later, just as Santino did until he met his fate. Tom Hagen Tom Hagen, played by Robert Duval (has there ever been such a star-studded cast assembled in one movie? Brando, Pacino, Caan, Duval -- it's like the movie equivalent of an all-star team), is the consigliere of the Corleone Family. Tom Hagen was Vito's advisor, calmly dispensing advice and quietly taking care of most of the business matters affecting the Family. Before making any important decisions, the Don would ask for advice on the matter from Hagen. Just as Tom advised Vito, Don Zimmer, the Yankees bench coach, is there with Joe Torre, giving advice on how to handle certain game situations. While the Popeye look-alike does not necessarily have the cool, deliberative manner of Tom Hagen, he does fill the same role. Zimmer is the "consigliere" of the New York Yankees. Part Two will take a look at some of the other characters…. See more of Shawn's columns at SportsTerminal.com!

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