Bullz-eye.com - Guy's Portal to the Web

What kind of sports fan are you? by: Shawn Griffin from SportsTerminal.com	Pg 1 of 1

I love going to sporting events or watching games on TV. I simply cannot get enough of them. It's sort of like Michael Jackson and his nose. I am obsessed with sports. It borders on total insanity sometimes. Why am I telling you this? Sit back and let me explain. I went to the Duke-Iowa NCAA basketball game the other night. I really didn't care about either team, although I did root for Iowa because I am a Big Ten fan. I also rooted for Iowa because I was with what I term a "Type A" Iowa fan. This guy has all the characteristics of a fanatical sports fan. He straddles the line between utter madness, despair and total euphoria while watching Iowa play, whether in person or on television. Since I didn't care too much about the game, I could objectively monitor and analyze the actions of the fans in attendance, including that of my Type A friend. While at the game, I witnessed some behavior by certain fans that gave me an idea. Sports fans should be classified according to their degree of fanaticism -- simply Type A, B and C sports fans. While attending sporting events, we do things that are not even close to being socially acceptable. I will never forget my friend Tony eating blue cotton candy at a college basketball game we attended a couple years ago. He looked absolutely ridiculous, with the blue dye covering his entire mug. It was a riot. Would he have done that at a party or at a bar when he's trying to pick up honeys? I doubt it. But he was at the game, and to him that meant anything goes. This is a typical reaction from a "Type B" fan. He's not really into the game -- basically he's just there for the heck of it. A couple of his friends wanted to go to the game, he wasn't doing much that night, they asked him to go, so he went. That's all. It was no big deal to him. One time, as I was exiting the stadium after my team lost a football game in overtime, I yelled "Get a damn job!" at a homeless bum who was begging for change. (Advice for you homeless bums out there -- only beg if the home team wins the game, you will make more money -- trust me on this one.) Would I ever have considered yelling at this bum if I had not been so disappointed about the game? Well, yes, of course, but I wouldn't have actually done it. This is how Type A fans react after their team loses. It's sad, but true -- unfortunately. Let me explain the three classifications that I came up with -- Type A, Type B and Type C. Real original, huh? Oh well, it's my column, I can call it whatever the hell I want. Here are the characteristics of these three types of fans: 1. Type A Fans These are the absolute crazy fanatics. They usually attend games personally, but if they can't, their whole life revolves around the game. They usually attend games or watch them with other Type As, but if none are available they will not have a problem going to the game alone. If no other Type As are available to watch the game on television with, they prefer to watch the games alone, because Type Bs and Type Cs usually annoy them if their favorite team is not performing well. Type As tend to stay away from "Game Day" parties which involve their favorite team, unless the game is a sure win or not very important. Why? Because parties usually include a large number of non-Type As who would never understand their fanaticism. At least once in their lives, Type As have made complete fools of themselves in front of many other non-Type As at a "Game Day" party, and they don't want it to happen again, but know it may. Just the chance of it happening is enough to keep Type As away from "Game Day" parties. Half their wardrobe is team gear. They usually played sports in high school, weren't that great, but tried hard. They criticize their team often, not because they don't like them, but simply because they want their team to be the best they can be. Type As honestly believe that they could either coach, manage or run their favorite team just as well, but probably better, than the guys who get paid to do it. They use profanities when their team is losing or has lost, and it takes them at least one hour after the game to return to normal. If the game is a really important one, such as a playoff game, Type As will be totally inconsolable for at least 24 hours if their team happens to lose. On the other hand, if their team wins an important game, they are in a state of absolute delirium. While at a game, Type As will high-five complete strangers and hug other members of the same sex if the game is very important and their team does something good. They have cried more than once in their lives when their team lost an important game. They have broken at least one remote control, and have been involved in at least one physical confrontation with a Type A fan of a rival team. Type As should stay away from alcohol during the game, because alcohol tends to accentuate the emotions they feel. If another team beats Type A's favorite team, they don't forget it and root against that team for the rest of the season. Type As NEVER give credit to an opposing team if they beat their favorite team. There are a myriad of excuses readily available if Type A's team loses. The only reason the other team won was because of one, or a combination of, the following reasons: 1. Bad officiating. This is a personal favorite. Type A's favorite team would have won if those stupid officials wouldn't have blown so many calls. 2. Luck. The other team got lucky, that's the only reason they won the game...they aren't a better team, and to think differently means you are incredibly stupid. 3. Injuries. Type As will point out that their team had an inordinate amount of injuries (even if it's just a back-up long snapper) that contributed to the loss. Had they been at full strength, it would not have been close. 2. Type B Fans The simplest word to describe Type Bs? Moderates. Sometimes Type Bs tend to waver between Type A and Type B, but for the most part stick to Type B because it's easier. They are semi-fanatic, semi-casual fans. They usually have more than one favorite team in the same league, an absolute no-no to Type A fans. They love their team no matter what happens, think the coach is doing a good job and generally believe the players are trying hard all the time. They absolutely despise any criticism directed at one of their favorite teams, and they commonly mistake Type A's criticism of their favorite team with some type of disloyalty. Type Bs think that Type As are totally insane. They look down on them as feeble-minded losers who have no other interests besides sports (which is usually partially true). At "Game Day" parties in which they have to interact with Type As who are present, Type Bs enjoy getting under the skin of Type As by making positive comments about a player or coach who just screwed up somehow. This totally infuriates Type A and brings unusually high levels of amusement to Type Bs. Regarding attending sporting events, Type Bs rarely will travel more than 30 miles to attend a game. The only way they will is if a friend buys the tickets AND drives. Type Bs will rarely wear any gear with their favorite team on it. That is childish to them. To Type Bs, a good weekend does not necessarily include watching or attending a sporting event. They can just as easily go out for a bike ride at game time if the weather is nice. Type As sometimes hope for good weather if they live with a Type B just for this case. There is no recovery time needed for a type B. Win or lose, it doesn't mean that much to them, although they do like winning better. If their favorite team loses a playoff game, they will not need more than a few minutes to put the game behind them and look to whatever other sport is coming up. They don't swear or show very much emotion while their team is playing. The most common time for a Type B to jump on the Type A bandwagon is when the favorite team is winning. Then they will tell everybody what a "die-hard" they have always been, even though it's not true. 3. Type C "Fans" Type Cs are not sports fans. The only sporting events they watch are figure skating or the Super Bowl, but only if invited to a Super Bowl party. They think sports are a total waste of time. Attending a sporting event? Would not consider it unless forced to. Type Cs hold a particular disdain for the sport of football. They hate it. As most of you already know, I am not a politically correct person, therefore I can make the following statement -- Most Type Cs are women. Many of them marry or date Type A fans, but try hard to overlook it. Type Cs consider this a terrible flaw, but something that can be "fixed." Many times, Type Cs think they will teach Type A not to take sports so seriously. This rarely succeeds. (To all of you Type Cs out there, stop trying to change Type A. Let them have one thing in their lives in which you are not involved. They will love you for this. As a matter of fact, they will love you even more if you pretend you are a Type A fan -- but only during the game. After that, it's safe and recommended that you return to your Type C status.) As far as wearing team gear, Type Cs would only consider doing this on Halloween. Type Cs love game day parties because they can get together with other Type Cs and know that they are not the only ones out there who don't like sports, particularly football. This makes them feel normal, which, of course, they aren't according to Type A fans. Type C fans often mix Type A and Type B fans up -- to them, anybody who likes sports at all, and to any degree, is a fanatic. This is a common misconception among Type Cs. So there you have it. Remember this next time somebody breaks the remote over a game -- they are classic examples of Type A fans -- there is nothing you can do about it. Just let it go. See more of Shawn's columns at SportsTerminal.com!

Other Columns By Shawn Griffin

<<< Previous Article Next Article >>>

Bullz-Eye.com : Feedback - Link to Us - About B-E - FAQ - Advertise with Us