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Age of Empires III: The Asian Dynasties
The excellent “Age of Empires III” continues its expansion with this latest pack entitled “The Asian Dynasties.” As you may have already guessed, this pack allows players to lead one of three Asian civilizations (Japan, India or China) to try and take control of the East. As usual, each leader has his own unique strengths and weaknesses, which goes for the armies you will command as well. Also in this edition are 15 new “Asian Wonder” map styles, as well as “remixes” of favorite “Age of Empires” maps. The single player campaign really shines here, which is a good thing, as it was lacking a bit in the “Warchiefs” expansion pack. So, those who would rather play solo will find a lot to enjoy here with plenty of depth in each scenario. The bottom line is if you’re a fan of “Age of Empires III,” then this expansion pack is pretty much a no-brainer. ~Jason Thompson (11/12/07)
Age of Empires III: The War Chiefs
If you enjoyed the excellent “Age of Empires III,” then go ahead and shell out the cash for this expansion pack. More of the same good action and strategy are here, but this time the game is centered around Indian tribes already in the New World when the European explorers came to stake out new territory. That means players get to encounter Native American, Sioux, Iroqouis, and Aztec peoples. A two-chapter campaign mode is included, which explores Nathan and Chayton Black’s experiences in the American Revolution and Indian Wars. It’s a solid portion of the game and players will find plenty of battles to dig through here. All in all, there’s not a whole lot new added to the mix here, but this expansion keeps “Age of Empires III” going strongly without messing it up, and that’s more than you could ask of most expansion packs. ~Jason Thompson (10/26/06)
Age of Pirates: Caribbean Tales
Look, no one’s ever going to do the pirate sim better than Sid Meier. His classic game “Pirates!” (that was refitted and reissued not so long ago) was one of the best games ever to come out on the Commodore 64. “Age of Pirates Caribbean Tales” pretty much regurgitates the Meier formula by having the player pick a country of alliance, raid ports, blow up ships, visit the governor in town, and quest for booty. However, this game isn’t a fraction of the fun of “Pirates!” as it strives to be too much else. The plot is nonexistent, the game interface is a piece of crap, and what the hell is with all the bugs in this final product that causes so much crashing? There’s an online mode, but I didn’t try it due to the bugginess and general ennui the game incites. After reviewing that terrible “Pirates of the Caribbean” game not long ago, I was hoping for something better here. Forget it. As I said, stick with “Pirates!” and you’ll be a much happier person. (Caution: "Age of Pirates" comes equipped with Starforce copy protection, which is malware in disguise that can compromise your computer.) ~Jason Thompson (09/25/06)
Alien Syndrome
Despite a promise of revolution and an attractive price tag, anyone that bought a Nintendo Wii back in November had a sinking feeling that the system was just another Power Glove in disguise. While I’m not exactly prepared to go that far in my assessment of the Wii’s performance, it does look like gamers have had fewer and fewer options since its release at the end of last year. SEGA’s “remake” of the action-RPG “Alien Syndrome” doesn’t help the situation, either. The game looks about a decade old and plays like a crappier version of “Smash TV.” The enemies are generic, the SFX are horrible, and the gameplay is about as redundant as you would expect from a title ported over from the PSP. The story – told through a series of static storyboards as if someone were pitching the idea to a Hollywood executive – revolves around a Ripley-esque heroine who boards an abandoned spaceship to investigate when she’s suddenly pitted against an army of big, bad alien insects. That’s about it in terms of story, but to be honest, I didn’t stick around too long to find out if anything else happens. It’s almost as if SEGA is pulling a prank on the video game public, because I can’t imagine anyone wanting to play this game for more than ten minutes. ~Jason Zingale (08/06/07)
Amped 3
The third installment of Microsoft’s mildly popular extreme sports title carves a new direction in the snow by taking a “Tony Hawk Underground” approach with the story mode. The introduction of your character (wearing a pink bunny suit while gliding down a snow-capped mountain) is more than enough evidence as to what’s in store for you… and then you meet one of your boarding friends named Weiner Man and you know exactly where this game is headed. Featuring plenty of wacky characters and a “Jackass” brand of humor, “Amped 3” is determined to make you laugh while still offering a snowboarder’s paradise filled with swank moves and unbelievable environments. As one of the launch titles for the 360, 2KSport’s snowboarding title isn’t quite groundbreaking in the graphics department, but it looks good enough to rival recent releases on current-gen systems and should be on the must-buy list for any extreme sports enthusiast. ~Jason Zingale (01/08/06)
Battlestations: Midway
WWII buffs will no doubt wet their pants over the real-time strategy-based combat of Eidos’ latest title for the Xbox 360, but anyone not into the slow-going RTS genre will quickly find themselves drifting into a deep sleep. “Battlestations: Midway puts the player in control of his very own aircraft carrier as Henry Walker (no relation to the Texas Ranger), a hackneyed B-movie war film protagonist if there ever was one who’s just been promoted following the Japanese attack on Pearl Harbor. Unfortunately, while the game initially offers some unique action combat ranging from warplane dogfights to PT boat excursions, it soon becomes all about maintaining the well-oiled fleet of ships under your command. Furthermore, the combination of slowly paced missions and dreadfully long load times is more than enough to turn the average gamer away, let alone the fact that the game’s unimpressive graphics make it look like the title was originally planned for Xbox 1. Still, if there’s some good to be had out of “Midway,” it’s in the online multiplayer, which should have the Xbox Live airwaves filled with that oh-familiar cry of distress in no time: “God damn it, you sunk my battleship!” ~Jason Zingale (01/05/07)
Beijing 2008
Whoever’s bright idea it was to make a video game based on this year’s summer Olympics must have been smoking a giant bag of Pineapple Express. Aside from the fact that most Olympic sports don’t translate well to video games, the idea of button-mashing your way through a swimming competition sounds about as promising as running through a kennel filled with rabid Rotweillers. It’s not just that the game is bad, but that it’s so poorly designed that even the most patient gamer is bound to get frustrated. The button mapping is just plain stupid (how is anyone supposed to pound the hell out of the A and B buttons and still be able to reach the right trigger?), some of the games are downright impossible (Judo, anyone?), and the Power Bar system pretty much assures that you’ll be playing catch-up in any event involving running or swimming. The few games that you do perform well in are fun at first (but quickly grow old), while the rest are just downright frustrating – not because they’re particularly difficult, but because the control system makes it virtually impossible to succeed. Button mashing has never been less fun. ~Jason Zingale (07/15/08)
Bomberman: Act Zero
Unlike its predecessors, “Bomberman: Act Zero” is all about style over substance. And in dropping the cutesy cartoon act for a more mature approach, Konami has in effect bastardized an arcade classic that simply isn’t worth the price tag. Set in the distant future where humans are imprisoned as test subjects and trained to become soldiers (sounds a little like “Soldier,” no?), there isn’t much story to “Bomberman” other than what’s printed on the back of the box. Then again, there isn’t much to the game period. Guided by a computerized voice (sounding not unlike a female Stephen Hawking) from match to match, you have only one goal: destroy your opponent before they destroy you. It’s simple and fun, but not entirely rewarding. The load times are dreadfully long, and while online play proves to be more exciting than going head-to-head against a computer, there are only two game modes available; both of which are relatively the same. And if that isn’t enough, the game is actually retailing for $50 when it could have easily been trimmed down graphically and sold on Xbox Live for a fifth of the price. Shame on you, Konami. ~Jason Zingale (09/04/06)
Burger King Games
It may seem surprising that a trio of games you have to purchase at a fast food burger joint could collectively net an above average rating, but it’s true. In case you didn’t know, Burger King is now offering three games for the Xbox/Xbox 360 entitled “Sneak King,” “Pocketbike Racer,” and “Big Bumpin’.” In the fist, you play as the King himself, completing missions that require you to sneak up on people craving BK food and surprising them with things such as Whoppers, cups o’ BK Joe, Crossain’wiches and the like. It’s a hilarious send up on the whole stealth game genre and watching the King bust a move after a flourish is one of the funniest things you’ll see all year. “Pocketbike Racer” is a cool racing game on those tiny little motorcycles. There are five different courses with different ways to win and different grades of cycles to unlock and race with. The game features Brooke Burke for some reason. Last video game I played featuring her was the crappy “Trivial Pursuit Unhinged.” Luckily this game is much better. Lastly, “Big Bumpin’” features the King and crew on bumper cars battling it out in various games featuring power-ups, traps, and all sorts of other goodies. It’s the least satisfying of the three games, but still quite fun. So there you have it. A purchase of a combo meal and $3.99 will net you one of these titles. While supplies last! ~Jason Thompson (12/10/06)
Capcom Classics Collection
The retro gaming craze has never been bigger. You’d think it was the ‘80s all over again what with all the plug and play TV games and abundance of retro packages being released on the consoles. Following Midway and Atari’s lead, Capcom has jumped on the bandwagon with “Capcom Classics Collection Vol. 1.” If anything is clear from this package, it’s that Capcom created a lot of shooter-type games back in the day. “Legendary Wings,” “Bionic Commando,” “1942,” “Commando,” and “Mercs” are just a few of the old school shoot-em-ups appearing here. However, the best ones are the oddball “Pirate Ship Higemaru,” which was never released in the US and is a highly addictive “Pengo”-style of game, the classic “Ghosts ‘N Goblins”, and the futuristic shooter “Section Z.” There are too many variations on a game here, such as “1942,” “1943,” and “1943 KAI,” and tossing in three “Street Fighter” games seems a bit redundant, considering Capcom just released an anniversary package for that franchise not so long back. But the emulation is flawless here and proof positive that oft-times the old games with the simple premises are still some of the best. ~Jason Thompson (10/06/05)
Castlevania Judgment
Konami’s latest “Castlevania” title isn’t just the worst fighting game I’ve ever played; it’s one of the worst games period. A copycat of Nintendo’s own “Super Smash Bros.” series, “Castlevania Judgment” has you picking up various “sub-weapons” (like throwing daggers, holy water and stopwatches) to use against your opponent in addition to regular attacks. It’s the only positive element of the entire game, and by making each sub-weapon require mana-like energy called hearts, it provides additional depth to the gameplay. Unfortunately, the rest of “Castlevania Judgment” is a wreck. The fidgety camera makes it virtually impossible to tell how far your opponent is from you at times, while the graphics leave much to be desired. Additionally, the fighters are terribly unbalanced, which makes using the awkward controls (consisting of waggling the Wiimote to attack) even more difficult. A lot of people have criticized Konami’s decision to use the “Castlevania” series as a basis for a fighting game, but it’s actually a great idea. There are plenty of cool characters to fill a decent roster and it’s a little upsetting to see that they’ve been so poorly utilized. The series deserves much better than this, and hopefully, Konami won’t be so discouraged by their first effort to give the concept another shot in the future. ~Jason Zingale (12/04/08)
Castlevania: Portrait of Ruin
It’s been quite some time since a quality “Castlevania” game has been released. In fact, many would argue that the last great installment of the popular franchise dates as far back as the SNES, so it’s not at all surprising that the Nintendo DS is home to the most recent respectable “Castlevania” title in nearly a decade. After all, the power of Big N’s latest portable system falls somewhere between a glorified SNES and a low-end N64, and with “Portrait of Ruin,” the franchise returns to form as a classic 2D side-scroller. Not exactly a reinvention of the wheel (it’s more like a revisiting of the old one), “Portrait of Ruin” features an all-new story and the ability to switch between two characters – Jonathan Morris, unrightful heir of the legendary Vampire Killer whip, and Charlotte Aulin, a young magician with incredible power – or play as both side-to-side. Regrettably, while the new title does offer a fresh spin on a classic game, it’s not that much different. The story still revolves around Dracula’s castle, and the player is still forced to tear through levels upon levels of mind-numbing mediocrity. If every enemy wasn’t designed exactly the same way, “Portrait of Ruin” would have been a much better game. Most casual gamers won’t care, but those in the hardcore crowd may need more. ~Jason Zingale (12/28/06)
Celebrity Sports Showdown
When the press release for “Celebrity Sports Showdown” first arrived in my inbox, I couldn’t wait for the chance to skewer it as yet another soulless cash grab for the Nintendo Wii. After all, what exactly is the point of playing with these so-called “celebrities” when most people already have an army of Miis at their disposable? Sure, some of the playable characters do fit the description (Paul Pierce, Reggie Bush, Avril Lavigne and Fergie spring to mind), but the rest of the cast is made up of old school sports heroes like Kristi Yamaguchi, Sugar Ray Leonard and Mia Hamm, or country stars like LeAnn Rimes and Keith Urban. Most kids don’t even know who these people are, and they won’t care about who they’re playing as, either, because every celebrity handles the exact same way. Nevertheless, EA Freestyle has actually created a relatively fun party game with some excellent minigames including Hurdle Derby, Rapid Fire Archery, and Arena Dodgeball – by far the best of the bunch with three other friends. “Celebrity Sports Showdown” isn’t a great game, but it’s much better than you would expect, and the fact that you can pick it up for less than 30 bucks doesn’t hurt either. ~Jason Zingale (11/10/08)
Condemned: Criminal Origins
As one of the much shorter titles that came out of the 360 launch line-up, “Condemned” is not worth more than a rent, but it’s definitely one of the first must-play games of the holidays. One part survival horror and one part “CSI” rip-off, “Condemned” just might be the scariest game I’ve ever played – “Resident Evil” series included. I was barely through the opening half of the first level when I had to get up, turn on the lights, and take a good five-minute break. My heart was beating that fast. While it’s certainly less nerve-racking to play with the lights on, you simply won’t be experiencing the same game in the dark. And if the combined atmosphere of dark rooms and a shoddy flashlight wasn’t enough, you can expect a lot more heart attacks from fending off waves of crazies with lead pipes, fire axes, and just about anything else you can find while chasing down the murder suspects. ~Jason Zingale (12/02/05)
Conflict: Denied Ops
The guys over at Eidos are clearly fans of co-op gameplay. Mere months after the release of “Kane & Lynch” comes yet another first-person shooter that’s all about teamwork, but unlike the titular duo of that game, “Conflict: Denied Ops” is an absolute bore. You play as Lincoln Graves and Reggie Long, two CIA agents from the Special Activities Division who have been sent on a black ops mission to stop a third-world dictatorship from attaining nuclear weapons. No doubt inspired by the positive reaction to early “Kane & Lynch” trailers, “Conflict: Denied Ops” also features a bickering duo, but this time around, they haven’t cut any corners in stressing just how different these two guys really are. Graves is a white veteran whose weapon of choice is a sniper rifle, while Long is a black rookie who totes around a machine gun. The makings of comedy gold, right? You wish. The dialogue sucks (get ready to roll your eyes), the combat system is shit, and the graphics are seriously lacking that next-gen polish. And just in case that wasn’t problem enough, your partner (who you’ll also control in a single-player campaign) is more trouble than he’s worth. Unless you think chasing down a lost kid in a mall is cause for excitement, you may want to steer clear of “Conflict: Denied Ops.” ~Jason Zingale (02/26/08)
Dance Dance Revolution Supernova
Mommy, make it stop already. Does anyone else besides the Scissor Sisters not feel like dancing? I know I am. Yet here we have another sequel to the long-running “Dance Dance Revolution” franchise. Look out! This time you’ll get to shake it to David Bowie and Kelly Clarkson as well as all that usual J-pop junk that all starts sounding the same after a while – much like bad anime. You can hook up your EyeToy camera if you like, or even take the competition online and make a complete ass of yourself against people who have spent way too much time playing this game. Of course, many of these people are in better shape than I am. They’re not real gamers, mind you. There’s also a new mode that makes the player dance in various joints to truly succeed. It’s a lopsided career/campaign kinda thing that maybe or maybe not gives the whole series another breath of life to keep going. One of these days people will get tired of this and the “Karaoke Revolution” series and get back to some serious gaming. Until then, keep on dancing. ~Jason Thompson (11/07/06)
Dead or Alive Xtreme 2
Let’s start with the obvious, shall we? “Dead or Alive Xtreme 2” is bad. So bad, in fact, the game should have been given away as a free download on Xbox Live. Instead, it’s being sold for the full, next-gen price of $59.99 even though absolutely nothing about it is particularly next-gen. Sure, Team Ninja has once again perfected the secret art of jiggle physics, but they’ve failed miserably at introducing even the slightest bit of enjoyment from the title’s weak selection of mini-games. New additions like Pool Hopping and Butt Battle are relegated to impossible status, while the original volleyball minigame disappoints even more the second time around. Many games don’t even explain what exactly it is you need to do, and it doesn’t matter, since the game will have likely ended well before you’re given the chance to figure it out. Oh, and instead of inviting you to try again, the game just exits back out to the main menu where you’ll be forced to sit through lengthy loading times each and every time. There is one saving grace to “DOAX2”: the casino, which most players will undoubtedly spend a majority of their time in, winning money to spend on new swimsuits, accessories and such. But even that feels anticlimactic, which is a serious crime considering your company. ~Jason Zingale (11/25/06)
Def Jam Rapstar
Nothing against PaRappa the Rappa, but rap fans have never really had a music rhythm game to call their own. Though “DJ Hero” and the various karaoke series have featured rap and hip-hop songs in the past, it’s always been pretty minimal. Konami hopes to buck that trend with “Def Jam Rapstar,” a game targeted exclusively toward diehard fans of the genre. It works much in the same way as “SingStar,” earning points for singing the correct lyrics, performing in rhythm, and, in some cases, achieving an accurate pitch. But this is a T-rated game, so every track included is a radio-friendly version, which means that all of the explicit language has been bleeped out. You can still curse as much as you want without being penalized, but for those that don’t know the words, the giant gaps in the lyrics really messes with your rhythm. The song selection also leaves much to be desired, with some artists failing to be properly represented by their most popular work. And while the 40 tracks included feature just about everyone you’d expect to see in a rap karaoke game – 2Pac, 50 Cent, Busta Rhymes, Dr. Dre, Kayne West, Ludacris, Public Enemy, The Notorious B.I.G, etc. – there are two glaring omissions: Eminem and Jay-Z, whose absences are unforgiveable. Still, it does what it sets out to do pretty well, and the addition of a Freestyle Mode and the ability to create custom music videos is a nice touch. The real test will be how Konami builds on it for future installments. ~Jason Zingale (10/15/10)
Dungeon Seige II: Deluxe Edition
The PC video game market is no different from the music or DVD market. Eventually, all that money you originally spent on a game will eventually be reissued in some sort of “deluxe” version, so you can go out and buy it all over again just for some silly extras. Of course, if you didn’t buy the game the first time around, the reissued version can be a joy. At any rate, here’s "Dungeon Siege II” repackaged with the original game, the “Broken World Expansion Pack” and some bonus crap that include six printable portraits of Eva (wow), a foldout map of the land of Aranna (great), a making-of video, a short story called “Bound Together,” and some game wallpaper and concept art. If that’s worth extra money, it’s up to you. Still, you get the RPG “Game of the Year” for 2005 if you don’t have it already. For what it’s worth, the game itself is a pretty good time and right up the alley for those who like to kill baddies in dank dungeons and fantastical worlds. It’s just questionable if the bonuses here are really worth the “deluxe” treatment. ~Jason Thompson (12/03/06)
EA Sports Active
The Nintendo Wii has already proven that it’s a magnet for cash-grabbing fads, so it’s no surprise that when one of them involved sports (or in this case, exercise), Electronic Arts would jump on the gravy train. While it may seem out of character for EA to take so long to do so, however, their freshman foray into the fitness genre is a real winner. “Wii Fit” may have been the first exercise game on the market, but “EA Sports Active” is the first one that actually feels like a success. Though the ability to customize your own workouts is a nice addition, the pre-planned 30-Day Challenge will more than meet the needs of most people because it supplies a unique workout for each day. From cardio like running and boxing to basic exercises like bicep curls, lunges and squats, a single session of “EA Sports Active” will have you sweating more than a week’s worth of “Wii Fit.” Granted, there are two new accessories that you’ll have to find room to store (a leg strap that tracks lower body movement and a resistance band for upper body exercises), but unlike the Wii Balance Board, both actually feel like they’re contributing to your workout. If there’s one criticism to be made, it’s that some of the included sports activities (namely tennis, volleyball and baseball) don’t cater to left-handed players, but it hardly ruins the final product. Smartly blending the interactivity of “Wii Sports” with the strict workout regiment of “Wii Fit,” “EA Sports Active” truly is the personal trainer in a box that the company is claiming it to be. It’s still not better than going to a gym, but it’s pretty close. ~Jason Zingale (05/31/09)
EA Playground
Taking a cue from the massive success of “Wii Sports” (would it be so popular if it wasn’t free?), gaming juggernaut Electronic Arts has entered into the minigame race with a collection of schoolyard-inspired games designed solely for the 10 and under crowd. Don’t get me wrong. Playing a round of tetherball or dodgeball using the intuitive Wiimote control system is satisfying the first time around, but once you recognize the lack of depth in the experience, you’ll understand why this title isn’t made for just anyone. The five other games – including paper racers (a paper airplane flyer), slot car racing (RC-operated micro machines), wall ball (or handball, as it’s more commonly known), dart shootout and kicks (a sort of soccer-meets-volleyball) – aren’t nearly as exciting, but kids will enjoy the reward of collecting stickers that comes with defeating each opponent. Super stickers, which give in-game bonuses to specific sports, can also be purchased from a pompous little kid known as the Sticker King using marbles you earn by completing dares or finding around the schoolyard, but even if you do collect them all, the single player story will still only take you about three hours to finish. ~Jason Zingale (10/31/07)
Elebits
As the last official launch title for the Nintendo Wii, “Elebits” had gamers positively excited about its quirky potential; especially after walking away with the Best in Show award at this year’s Tokyo Game Show. Regrettably, “Elebits” is a major disappointment. A great idea that doesn’t quite make for a great game, Konami’s first crack at the Big N’s latest console is nothing more than a fancy tech demo for the Wiimote. Disguised as a sort of glorified game of hide-and-seek, “Elebits” tells the story of a young boy who is forced to take matters into his own hands when his city experiences a sudden blackout. Taking control of his scientist parents’ Capture Gun, the nameless boy must go around collecting hundreds of the cute electricity-producing creatures for which the game is titled in order to restore light to his town. Using the Wiimote to push, pull, lift, throw, smash and interact with everything in the environment, you’ll search high and low for these little buggers as they can be found hiding in just about every place imaginable. And unless you thoroughly enjoy pushing the same button for hours on end, “Elebits” becomes incredibly boring within only a matter of minutes. The imagination is certainly there, and I’ve got to hand it to Konami for creating such a unique experience, but there’s simply no challenge to picking up a bunch of objects and zapping alien-like Oompa Loompas over and over and over and over and over again. ~Jason Zingale (12/30/06)
ER: The Game
“ER: The Game” puts you directly in the day-to-day hustle and bustle of a hospital emergency room. After graduating from med school with high marks, you’ve been placed at County General Hospital as a fresh intern, monitored daily by Dr. John Carter (Noah Wyle), Dr. Susan Lewis (Sherry Stringfield) and Dr. Gregory Pratt (Mekhi Phifer). Much in the style of games like “The Sims” and “Theme Hospital,” “ER: The Game” allows the user to create their own unique doctor and control their success in the hospital through various skills and relationships. The problem with “ER: The Game,” is that it isn’t a game at all. Games are meant to be fun, and “ER” certainly isn’t any fun. Most of your time is spent waiting for long load times and walking in the wrong direction. The unpleasant game interface is mostly to blame, because once the programmers have finished including every single detail on the screen with maps, shortcuts, and other gameplay options, there is no where else to actually click. If you’re looking to play a game like the aforementioned titles, go ahead and do just that. Even the latest “Sims” expansion has to be better than this disaster. ~Jason Zingale (06/01/05)
Fable: The Lost Chapters
When “Fable” debuted on the Xbox in 2004, the attractive gameplay mechanics and innovative storyline won the hearts of gamers everywhere, but the short single-player mode was ultimately a major letdown. Still, with the tremendous success of Peter Molyneux’s choose-your-own-adventure RPG came a version for the PC, and with it plenty of brand new content including extra weapons and new quests. “The Lost Chapters” is now available for the original Xbox as well (as part of Microsoft’s Platinum Hits collection), but if you already own the game, there’s no sense in dropping another twenty bucks when you could be saving your money for something much better. If you haven’t had the chance to experience “Fable,” though, this would be money wisely spent, especially considering that owners of the 360 can also play this title thanks to the convenience of backwards compatibility. ~Jason Zingale (11/28/05)
Flight Simulator X
Yes, this latest edition of “Flight Simulator” is jam packed with everything that has made it the top sim of its type through the years with its hardcore fans. Tons of different kinds of planes to fly, with more realism and detail than ever before. Luckily there are in-game tutorials to help the novice along, so one of those bible-sized instructions manuals are a thing of the past. Unfortunately, if you don’t have a flight stick style of controller, you might find the whole thing a bit tedious and aggravating as the keyboard and/or “regular” joystick controls are either too touchy or not responsive enough. But there’s plenty to dig here if you are an old fan of the series. The casual and curious would do better by merely staying away from this behemoth. Did I mention the installation takes forever? Go ahead and feel free to order out pizza and eat the whole thing while the game is installing. More work than fun. ~Jason Thompson (10/26/06)
Flight Simulator X: Acceleration
For those already growing bored with the things to do on “Flight Simulator X,” fear not. Here is the “Acceleration Expansion Pack” designed to give armchair pilots more hours of pleasure shooting around the skies. Twenty new missions are included in this pack, featuring rescue ops and test flying fighter jets. Three new aircraft -- the P51-D Mustang, the EH-101 helicopter, and the F/A-18A Hornet -- are also available to try out. There’s even an online mode that allows players to compete and chat. Too bad then, that you still need a pretty damn good system to run this thing on, not to mention the installation troubles that many users have had when trying to get the game to work. A patch may be in serious order here. But if this series is your thing, give it a shot. ~Jason Thompson (11/12/07)
Food Network: Cook or Be Cooked
With the number of cooking games flooding the market, it was only a matter of time before Food Network got in on the fun. Unfortunately, “Cook or Be Cooked” isn’t fun at all, but rather a pretty lifeless cooking sim that only serves to remind you how much better the real thing is. Hosted by Food Network bigwigs Mory Thomas and Susie Fogelson, “Cook or Be Cooked” tests your ability to make 12 different dishes, including basics like eggs and bacon, pancakes and quesadillas, as well as more sophisticated offerings like pan seared T-bone steak and grilled ahi tuna. Once you’re in the kitchen, you’ll do everything from the prep work to the cooking itself, and when you’ve finished the dish, you’re judged on a variety of categories like temperature, technique and the ability to multitask. Though it might be mildly entertaining for people that aren’t very competent in the kitchen, the lack of variety in gameplay and the small selection of recipes makes “Cook or Be Cooked” the kind of game you play for an hour and then put away. You’d be better off using that money to buy a real cookbook instead. ~Jason Zingale (11/13/09)
Guitar Hero: Aerosmith
There’s something terribly wrong when most of the best songs on a band-specific “Guitar Hero” aren’t from the band at all, but rather from other bands that supposedly inspired them. That’s exactly the case with “Guitar Hero: Aerosmith,” an experiment-gone-wrong that should be the death kiss to any other crazy ideas like this in the future. Seeing as how this format wouldn’t have even worked with The Beatles (arguably the greatest band in rock history), it’s amazing to think that one featuring Aerosmith ever made it past the pitching stage. Sure, Steven Tyler and gang have had quite a run (and you’ll experience their ride in the career mode), but when you think “Guitar Hero,” you don’t think Aerosmith, and that fact is made only more evident from the included set list. Greatest hits like “Crazy,” “Dude (Looks Like a Lady),” and “Janie’s Got a Gun” are omitted simply because they’re not great guitar songs, while the overall song selection is over 30 tracks shy of the usual count. Of the 41 tracks that are included, only 24 are actually performed by Aerosmith, and, after playing only a few of them in a row, it feels like you’ve been jamming to the same song over and over again. This is for diehard fans only (something I’m not, seeing as how my band name was Aeropiss), but even that might be pushing it. ~Jason Zingale (07/14/08)
Guitar Hero On Tour: Decades
You have to hand it to Activision. Not only did they manage to do the impossible by successfully porting the “Guitar Hero” series over to the Nintendo DS, but they’ve followed it up with a sequel that has just enough new features to prevent it from feeling like an overpriced expansion pack. For starters, players can now rock their way through Career Mode (which has you headlining themed venues where you can only play music from a certain decade) in one of three ways: on lead guitar, bass/rhythm guitar, or through single-player Guitar Duels. The latter plays out just like the multiplayer version, but instead of facing off against a friend, you’ll have to battle “Guitar Hero” rockers like Judy Nails and Axe Steel. Additionally, players can now share songs with one another as long as they own different versions of “On Tour,” which is great since it means that you’ll have a much larger selection of music to choose from without having to switch game cartridges. The 28-song set list is criminally short, and the “Decades” subtitle is a bit misleading since almost half of the tracks are from the last eight years, but this is still a great addition to a series that is at its best when it remains focused on its titular instrument. ~Jason Zingale (11/24/08)
Guitar Hero On Tour: Modern Hits
When Activision picked up the reigns to the beloved “Guitar Hero” franchise, gamers everywhere were worried, and for good reason. The company’s first crack at the series (“Guitar Hero III: Legends of Rock”) was far from perfect, but since then, each successive installment has gotten remarkably better. It was only normal to assume that the same would hold true for the handheld version of the game, but while “Guitar Hero: On Tour” proved that the series could work just as well on the Nintendo DS, the latest installment, “Guitar Hero On Tour: Modern Hits,” is a giant step back. Though the title of the game leads you to believe that you’ll be playing hit songs by modern bands, there are only a handful of tracks that could truly be considered “hits.” The rest of the set list is made up of songs by radio-friendly bands that aren’t necessarily bad, but aren’t really popular either. The mediocre soundtrack is made even worse by the updated format of Career Mode. Now, you not only have to play each song once, but then again as part of a new feature called Fan Request that gives the player a certain task (like earning a note streak, gaining a multiplayer, or using items in Duel Mode) to accomplish. It’s not much fun when you’re forced to play a song you don’t like, and to have to do so twice is just plain rude. Let’s hope Activision sees the error of their ways, because the “On Tour” series has too much potential to waste on such stupid ideas. ~Jason Zingale (06/18/09)
Gunstar Super Heroes
As the long-awaited sequel to the classic Sega Genesis title, “Gunstar Super Heroes” is a blast to play, especially for those craving for a dish of old school side-scroller action. First off, the graphics are pretty darn impressive for a Game Boy Advance title, with great detail and bright colors that will look especially gorgeous on Nintendo’s new Micro. Equally remarkable is the title’s gameplay, which incorporates the usual run, jump and shoot elements of the common side-scroller, but in a variety of levels that will keep the player guessing as to what will come next. The game is a bit on the short side (aren’t most Game Boy titles though?) and the average player will soar through this in a little under a weekend, but it still presents enough of a challenge to keep even the hardcore gamer happy. “Guitar Super Heroes” doesn’t have much replay value (aside from changing characters and increasing the difficulty level), but it’s still worth a quick look. ~Jason Zingale (01/18/06)
Hitman: Blood Money
It’s been quite some time now since Eidos’ “Hitman” franchise debuted on the current-gen consoles, and much like the latest “Tomb Raider” adventure, the new installment is a much-appreciated step-up. “Hitman: Blood Money” drops you back into the role of Agent 47, a contract killer for the ICA, but when fellow assassins begin dropping like flies (purportedly at the hands of a much bigger and more powerful agency), Agent 47 travels to America where he plans to make the killing of his career. Featuring stunning visuals and improved controls, “Blood Money” is like “Splinter Cell”-gone-bad, and is easily one of the best titles currently available on the Xbox 360. It’s also not a breeze to complete, either (unlike most games these days), and you’ll really have to devise the best option before making you move. Running and gunning ain’t going to get you anywhere in this game. Trust me. I died… a lot. ~Jason Zingale (06/07/06)
How to Train Your Dragon
Another 3D animated movie, another video game tie-in to go along with it. This time around it’s DreamWorks’ “How to Train Your Dragon.” A so-so movie deserves a so-so game, and Activision has pretty much nailed that quality right on the head with this title. Players get to control either Hiccup or Astrid as they train their dragons on the Island of Berk to prepare them for entry in various tournaments. Mostly, this game comes off as a weak cross between any of the “Monster Rancher” games and any two-player fighting game you’d care to name, though with no real excitement to speak of. When you’re not training and customizing your dragons, players are forced to go around the island in search of items to make recipes in their cookbooks or do other menial tasks that are part and parcel with games such as these. My five-year-old was interested for about 20 minutes and then decided that it was time for another round of “Toy Soldiers.” See, even the kids know the good games these days. ~Jason Thompson (04/13/10)
Iron Man 2
One of these days, video games based on movies will stop sucking. Either that, or developers will finally become wise and stop producing the things altogether. Sadly, “Iron Man 2” isn’t even based on the movie, instead having its story created from the ground up. You’d be forgiven for thinking this would actually give the game its own legs to stand on, but no. Instead what we have is a total mess, featuring some guy who doesn’t even sound like Robert Downey Jr. delivering some of the worst dialogue ever written for a game (somehow Don Cheadle and Samuel L. Jackson did come along for the ride). To top that off, the graphics look like something the PlayStation 2 could have handled and the controls are clunky at best. Fans of the comic book and movies deserve better, but they don’t even get average with this wreck. Downey Jr. was wise not to waste his talents on this epic failure. ~Jason Thompson (05/26/10)
Jaws: Unleashed
Have you ever wondered what it’d be like to swim through the deep blue sea as Jaws? Me neither, but Majesco Entertainment has decided to make a game based on the 1975 Steven Spielberg film anyways. In it, you assume the role of the great white shark, but instead of swimming around and eating people because, well, you’re a shark, the game finds poor old Jaws victim to an underwater oil drilling company whose equipment feedback has caused him to go into a feeding frenzy. Pretty cool, huh? Hardly. The game is fun for all of five minutes, and then you realize that these programming glitches and camera issues aren’t temporary, but rather the catalyst for what is to become a giant headache. Or how about blindly gliding through the water hoping to accidentally arrive at your next objective? Wee! This is fun! Wait, there’s more? I can collect license plates by eating them? Radical! Then again, maybe not. ~Jason Zingale (07/10/06)
Kameo: Elements of Power
Far and wide the worst title to launch alongside the Xbox 360, “Kameo” has little to offer the average gamer. Rather, the game seems fashioned for a much younger (and possibly female) gaming crowd that you would expect to see huddled around a Nintendo handheld playing the latest Pokemon game. Placing you in the role of Kameo, a magical elf whose family has just been kidnapped, most of the game is spent tracking them down – with the help of Elemental Warriors that you can morph into and control. This, of course, means that you spend almost no time at all as the actual elf, but instead work your way through a monotonous supply of puzzles, enemies and final bosses as the Warrior best suited for each individual task. The gameplay manages to be quite enjoyable for the first hour or so, and the beautifully-rendered environments are an amazing accomplishment for game developer Rare, but “Kameo” quickly loses steam only a few levels into the story. Securing new Elemental Warriors helps to keep the game feeling fresh longer than it should, but the title’s relatively short campaign mode and repetitive gameplay is hardly worth the fifty bucks or a slot on your GameFly queue. ~Jason Zingale (12/23/05)
Karaoke Revolution Presents: American Idol Encore 2
It’s hard to imagine that a product as half-baked as “American Idol Encore 2” would even stand a chance against some of the more impressive karaoke games on the market, but you shouldn’t underestimate the power of a great soundtrack. While titles like “SingStar” and “Lips” are visually superior, not to mention feature more sophisticated gameplay, the second installment of Konami’s “Karaoke Revolution” spin-off has the best collection of songs, and sometimes, that matters more than anything else. Featuring a wide array of classic hits from disco to modern pop and rock, the soundtrack is eclectic and accessible to almost any range of singer. Better yet, you can change the level at which the game judges you, so those who can’t carry a tune can still walk away a winner, while those looking for a little more challenge will find Simon Cowell can be just as demanding in digital form. Unfortunately, that’s where the game’s strengths end. The presentation is sloppy, the gameplay is a little too simplistic (even for the Wii), and the judge commentary gets old real quick. Fans of the popular series will likely embrace “American Idol Encore 2” simply because it has the name in the title, but for everyone else, it’s probably worth renting before making any big decisions. The song list may be great, but what’s the point of singing them when the game does very little to make it fun? ~Jason Zingale (01/01/09)
Kirby Super Star Ultra
Kirby’s latest adventure may look familiar to those who’ve been a fan of the pink puffball since his days as a rookie for Team Nintendo, but don’t write it off as a simple case of déjà vu. In an attempt to bring Kirby’s most popular title to a new generation of gamers, “Kirby Super Star Ultra” is little more than a remake of the SNES title of the same name. Featuring the same five levels and introducing three new touch-controlled minigames, the handheld version may be the perfect sampling of what makes playing as Kirby so fun and unique, but it’s ultimately too short to be considered a complete game. Though inhaling enemies and then copying their abilities results in some clever get-ups for our cute hero, the difficulty level has been set ridiculously low. The same goes for the included minigames, like Kirby Card Swipe and Kirby on the Draw. Only the fast-paced, tap-happy Snack Tracks provides any real challenge, and it’s even more fun with multiple human players. Nevertheless, most gamers will still finish the title in a matter of hours, and though we’re certain Kirby is perfectly fine with table scraps, his fans will be expecting a little more. ~Jason Zingale (09/26/08)
Left Behind: Eternal Forces
Say what you will, but Christian-based video games have never fared too well. It’s more of a niche market compared to any other niche out there you’d care to name. “Left Behind: Eternal Forces” is another such game. Based on the best-selling book (a copy of which is also included with the game), the object here is to convert people over into believers of God so they can all gang up on the Antichrist and get off the godforsaken planet. You’ll be using prayer and worship to kick some ass when not recruiting the faithless. The graphics are pretty terrible and the AI is hardly intuitive enough to get things done. Many times the people you’re trying to command will just mill about in a daze. It doesn’t matter that this game is “from the developer of the first 3D Madden Football game” or that the AP claims “it’s perfect content for a video game.” The end result is just a bland, poorly executed title that should be…wait for it…left behind. Zing! ~Jason Thompson (12/03/06)
The Legend of Zelda: Spirit Tracks
It’s only been two years since the release of “Legend of Zelda: Phantom Hourglass,” so it’s a little surprising to see another game come out for the Nintendo DS so soon. You won’t find any fans complaining about the quick turnaround, though, because “Spirit Tracks” is even better than the last outing. In Link’s newest handheld adventure, Princess Zelda is double-crossed by one of her closest confidants with the intent of using her body as a vessel to resurrect the evil Demon King. The catch, however, is that Zelda’s spirit is still very much alive, and for the first time in a “Legend of Zelda” game, the princess joins Link on an adventure to restore the Spirit Tracks that imprison the Demon King and return her spirit to her body. With the ability to take control of Phantoms, Zelda can now help defeat enemies and solve puzzles that Link wouldn’t be able to do on his own. It’s just a small part of the gameplay, but it really helps to keep things fresh, especially when everything else feels so familiar. Though Link has since traded in his boat for a train, traveling around Hyrule is virtually the same, while controlling his movement with the stylus continues to be a royal pain in the ass. (I mean, really, there’s a D-pad on the system – why not use it?) Despite some minor quibbles, though, “Spirit Tracks” is actually a pretty solid experience. It might seem a bit short for a “Legend of Zelda” title, but it serves as a nice distraction while fans patiently wait for the next console version to arrive. ~Jason Zingale (12/09/09)
LEGO Batman: Gotham City Games
It’s no big secret that “LEGO Batman: Gotham City Games” has been created for the sole purpose of moving more units of the console version during the holiday season, but if Warner Bros. and TT Games are going to charge for a mediocre collection of minigames, the least they could have done is made them more memorable. With 16 minigames in all (four of which are alternate versions of the same game), you’d expect to find at least a few great ones among the pack. Unfortunately, most of them are only fun to play once (which you’ll do in the game’s paper-thin Story Mode), while others are just so poorly executed (i.e. all three versions of bowling) that it’s amazing they even made the final cut. Only Riddler’s Maze demands multiple visits, and that’s because it’s the one game that actually provides a challenge. The addition of unlockable wallpapers and concept art adds some value to the overall package, but not much, making "Gotham City Games" a strictly fan-only affair. ~Jason Zingale (12/23/08)
Lips
The fact that it’s taken this long for Microsoft to release a competitor to Sony’s popular “SingStar” franchise is ridiculous, but now that it’s here, the celebration is a little bittersweet. Karaoke games are always fun at first, but they tend to get boring real fast, and that’s the biggest problem behind “Lips.” With the exception of fun minigames such as Time Bomb, Kiss and Vocal Fighters, the game is designed like every other karaoke title before it. Players are judged based on their ability to sing the correct lyrics, pitch and (for the first time) vibrato, and are rewarded medals for succeeding. “Lips” further enhances the experience by including two wireless, motion-sensitive microphones in the package that players not only sing into, but also use to activate a Star Power-like score multiplier called Star Steam. The 40-song soundtrack (which is unlocked in its entirety the minute you pop the disc into your console) includes at least one song from every genre of the past 30 years, but it hurts the overall product more than it helps it. Who is this game supposed to be targeted towards if there isn’t some kind of theme behind the song selection? Of the 40 tracks included, there weren’t even ten that I’d want to play again. Microsoft is hoping to curb this kind of reaction by allowing users to upload music from their personal collections, but even that strategy falls flat because there are no lyrics to accompany them. It’s nice to see a karaoke game finally released for the Xbox 360, but while it offers great fun for groups, the lack of online play coupled with a mediocre soundtrack makes this a must-buy for diehard karaokers only. ~Jason Zingale (12/15/08)
Lips: Number One Hits
Microsoft’s first attempt at a mainstream karaoke game was certainly promising, but instead of trying to build on that with a revamped sophomore effort, “Lips: Number One Hits” comes off as nothing more than a superfluous expansion pack. Though they’ve added a couple of new features – including Avatar integration with unlockable rewards and an in-game leaderboard – it’s simply not a substantial enough improvement to warrant a brand new standalone title. To make matters worse, the set list is a random concoction of music from around the world that includes songs that most people have never even heard. Why not follow the example set by Sony’s “SingStar” series by making certain tracks region specific? That would prevent crappy songs like Bob Sinclair’s “Love Generation,” DJ Ötzi’s “Hey Baby,” or Sugababes’ “Push the Button” from making the final cut, while still leaving room for a few number one hits that actually belong. Diehard fans of the first “Lips” will probably enjoy the sequel regardless of the hit-and-miss set list, but casual players would be better off just putting together their own mixtape from the ever-growing collection of DLC. ~Jason Zingale (10/20/09)
Mad Tracks
If you were as disappointed as I was with the party game flop that was “Fuzion Frenzy 2,” then you may be more than pleasantly surprised with “Mad Tracks.” This title successfully combines “Micro Machine”-like races with other mini games, such as darts, foosball and golf in which you participate by driving your vehicle around various playfields. There are the expected power-up items throughout, and at 800 MS points it’s a steal if you like games like “Mario Kart” and its copycats. The racing games are the most enjoyable, but darts is flat out hilarious, as is the game where everyone tries to knock each other off a dining room table. Getting frozen into an ice cube and being shoved off the edge of furniture has never been so much fun. This is a great online multiplayer title, and the single player game is fun as well. Downloadable content featuring more tracks is planned for the future, so this game will be getting more mileage after its initial launch. ~Jason Thompson (06/05/07)
Madden NFL Football
If there’s one thing you can always count on for the launch of a new game system, it’s that Electronic Arts will be there like bees to honey with at least one major sports title in tow. That doesn’t necessarily mean it will be any good, or that it will even resemble a finished product as evidenced during the whole Xbox 360 debacle, but that hasn’t stopped them in the past. The generically named “Madden NFL Football” for the Nintendo 3DS is at least playable, but it’s a far cry from the quality we’ve come to expect from EA’s flagship sports franchise. This is about as barebones as you get, with only three game modes to choose from (Season, Quick Match and Practice) and absolutely no online multiplayer or any other standout features. The option to play a more arcade-style 5v5 in addition to the traditional 11v11 is probably the game’s only saving grace, because not even the 3D adds much to the experience. In fact, it’s almost nonexistent (that is, when it’s even working properly), and you’ll likely just revert back to 2D after a few minutes. “Madden NFL Football” has all the markings of a game that was rushed to completion in order to meet the release date of the 3DS, and though diehard fans of the series will still be tempted to pick it up, they’d be better off waiting for the inevitable 2012 edition instead. ~Jason Zingale (03/29/11)
Major League Baseball 2K8
As an American sports fan and avid gamer, you’d think I’d be a little more excited about 2K Sports’ latest next-gen baseball title. After all, it is our national pastime, and with the baseball season lasting two-thirds of the year, you’re pretty much shit out of luck if you’re not a fan. Consider me one of the very few who fall into this category, but even though I’ve had bad experiences in the past, “MLB 2K8” doesn’t quite suck like I expected it to. This year, 2K Sports has really gone the distance by revamping the game engine and piling on an assortment of new features. Some of these features are homeruns (like the return of Inside Edge, which allows the player to purchase scouting reports on opponents), while others are a little more questionable (do we really need the option to play as minor league teams?). Still, even the sheer awesomeness of something like Total Pitch Control – a three-step process that emulates the motion of throwing a baseball – comes with its share of cons. Some critics would like you to believe the game’s biggest issues lie within the choppy frame rate and subpar graphics, but it simply isn’t so. True, you’ll probably have some issues with the clunky outfield controls (which will in turn lead to some blowouts during the beginning of your season), but the player models are crisp and, well, who doesn’t love how their jerseys blow in the wind? Unfortunately, it means exactly jack squat if you’re not a fan of the sport, and even if you are, it’s not like there’s a better option on the market. Until 2K Sports’ exclusivity agreement runs out in 2012, this is the only place you’ll be able to experience real major league baseball. Just be happy they didn’t release a dud. ~Jason Zingale (03/10/08)
Magnetica
Thanks to the massive success of “Brain Age” and the undying popularity of handheld puzzle games like “Tetris” and “Meteos,” the Nintendo DS has fast become the system to have for those looking to give their thumbs, and their minds, a much-needed workout. Following in the tradition of color-coded puzzle titles, “Magnetica” bursts onto the scene with a completely unique experience that relies solely on your skill with a stylus. Based on the popular arcade hit, “Puzzle Loop,” “Magnetica” is quite simple: as a line of marbles roll down a twisted track towards an endpoint, the player must shoot other like-colored marbles in order to make them explode. Connecting three marbles of the same color does the trick, but you’ll have to work quick and sharp. Featuring 99 levels in Challenge Mode, another 60 missions in Quest Mode, and a Wi-Fi-capable Versus Mode where you can play head-to-head with a friend, “Magnetica” is a frantic and exciting game for all fans of the puzzle genre. The main problem with the title, however, is that while fun to play, “Magnetica” feels like it should have been packaged as part of a compilation. The action is fast and furious from the opening minutes, but after just a couple hours of play, it quickly loses its appeal. Stick with “Tetris” for now. There’s a reason the game’s been around for more than twenty years. ~Jason Zingale (06/16/06)
Midway Arcade Treasures 3
For this third installment of the favorite series, Midway has decided to create a themed package of retro racing arcade classics. It’s just too bad that so many of these aren’t that fun when taken out of their arcade racing consoles and brought home. And besides, what the hell is going to beat “Burnout” these days, anyway? For my money, “Hydro Thunder” is the most enjoyable of the lot here. Old Dreamcast fans will be happy to know that the “San Francisco Rush” games here are clones from that system. However, there’s just too many boring picks all around here. “Badlands” is pretty much just like “Off Road Thunder,” except with weapons, and if that’s not enough, “Super Off Road” is here as well and just like “Off Road Thunder,” except with trucks. “Race Drivin’” was never a good game at all, and is completely klutzy with the PS2 controllers, and for some reason, “S.T.U.N. Runner” runs a lot faster that it ever did in the arcade. At only eight games total, “Midway Arcade Treasures” is rather paltry and a sure signal that the company should just stick to a nice mix ‘n match collection like the previous two packages. ~Jason Thompson (10/06/05)
Mini Ninjas
Games like “Mini Ninjas” may be targeted towards kids, but that doesn’t mean they have to be dumbed down for them as well. That might seem a little harsh on Eidos Interactive’s cutesy adventure title, but although the game shows promise in its stylish character design and charming quirkiness, it fails to hold your attention due to a rather tedious hack-and-slash formula. As Hiro, the last ninja anyone would expect to save the world, you embark on a journey across the countryside to stop the Evil Samurai Warlord from his plan of world domination, fighting off his magical army of soldiers and saving your ninja friends along the way. There’s actually quite a lot to like about “Mini Ninjas” when you first start the game – from spell casting to the ability to use your hat both as a shield and a floatation device – but that eventually wears off when you discover that there’s not much else to do other than fight the same generic group of samurai baddies every couple of minutes. The tedious button mashing is made a little less aggravating with the option to play as Hiro’s kidnapped friends (once you’ve saved them, of course), but it still feels like a chore no matter who you’re controlling. Obviously, kids will enjoy it more than adults, but no matter what you’re age, “Mini Ninjas” isn’t even worth the budget price. ~Jason Zingale (09/19/09)
MLB Power Pros 2008
If you have a job, a girlfriend or a term paper due, you should probably stay as far away from “MLB Power Pros 2008” as possible. This game demands your time and dedication, and with its multiple playing modes, you’ll be happy to hand it over, job/girlfriend/term paper be damned. Exhibition Mode is a tricked out version of the “Wii Sports” baseball game, where you can play as your favorite team in a big league park (you can even adjust the weather), or participate in Home Run Derby. Success Mode has players start at the AA level and try to work their way up (this reviewer never got to AAA), while the MLB Life Mode adds hobbies, cars, houses and diamond rings into the mix, along with the occasional demotion to AAA if you can’t keep your average up. You can even be a GM and make trades in order to improve your team and advance to the World Series. It’s a blast to play, but those with little patience for the role-playing side of it – the Success Mode is almost nothing but role-playing – may find the daily grind of deciding whether to rest versus working out to be a chore. Definitely not for casual gamers, but baseball fans of all stripes will find much to love here. ~David Medsker (09/05/08)
Monopoly
You have to try pretty damn hard to ruin one of the most popular board games of all time. Or in the case of Electronic Arts’ budget “Monopoly” title, not try at all. That’s the only explanation for this empty shell of a game – a digital version so much like its cardboard counterpart that you might as well as just play the game as it was originally conceived. No one buys “Monopoly” for the Xbox 360 so they can invite friends to come over and play. They buy it because no one they know enjoys how long it takes to finish an average game. Unfortunately, EA’s version fails to remedy either of those problems. As obvious as it may seem to include, there’s no online multiplayer available. Furthermore, you can’t even skip computer-controlled players’ turns, making a game of “Monopoly” on the Xbox 360 feel even longer than it usually does. Sure, The Richest mode (a unique spin on the game that’s targeted towards those with short attention spans) is a welcome addition to the overall package, but the fact that everything happens so randomly makes it more of a gimmick than anything else. Add to that some pretty stubborn AI and a lackluster collection of boards, and you’re looking at one of the worst releases of the year. ~Jason Zingale (11/01/08)
NASCAR Kart Racing
When it comes to racing games, there are quite a few good ones to choose from. Kart racing, on the other hand, is a completely different story. Many have tried to replicate the success of Nintendo’s “Mario Kart” franchise in the past, but to no avail. The latest in that long line of wannabes is EA Freestyle’s “NASCAR Kart Racing,” and though it does very little to make use of its exclusive license, the game does come the closest to capturing the essence of the popular kart racer. That’s probably because it’s essentially just a shameless clone with NASCAR drivers behind the wheel instead of guys like Yoshi and Donkey Kong. Everything you love about “Mario Kart” has been brought over in some form, from quick starts and power slides to power-ups that even mimic those from the series. Gas cans give you the same boost as mushrooms, bottle rockets work like red turtle shells, and oil slicks spin you out like bananas. In fact, the only original element of the game is the In the Zone feature, where you work with your teammate to fill your boost meter by driving just behind or in front of him. This actually becomes more important than collecting power-ups, because if you can master slingshot boosting, there’s no stopping you. Unfortunately, it’s also the reason “NASCAR Kart Racing” will never replace “Mario Kart.” It’s a little too easy for fans of the genre, and though motorsport enthusiasts will appreciate the option to play as their favorite drivers, it simply isn’t as memorable. ~Jason Zingale (02/20/09)
NBA Live 07
After a disappointing debut on the Xbox 360 last fall, sports gaming giant Electronic Arts promised fans of the “NBA Live” franchise that a much-needed overhaul was on the way. One year later and not much has changed. The new free throw system is absolutely horrendous (and impossible to master), you're restricted to just passing when you’re being double-teamed (even if you really want to draw a foul), pressing simple lay-up or dunk buttons result in ridiculous, over-the-top moves (that typically result in missing easy shots), and players can’t even pass the ball mid-shoot. The player models also don’t move as fluid as they probably should and you’ll never actually know if you’ve successfully rebounded the ball until a) you get scored on, or b) the point-of-view flips to show that the ball is in your possession. The graphics have been greatly improved and several new features have been added – like the addition of Dynasty Mode and All-Star Weekend – but all of the same gameplay issues remain. What you get is a game that looks great, but ultimately still plays like shit – a noticeable trend in basketball titles since the heyday of their creation – and while other EA sports franchises like “Madden,” “FIFA,” “NHL” and “Tiger Woods” continue to improve with each new installment, “NBA Live” only seems to get worse. Oh, except for the sweat. The sweat looks great. ~Jason Zingale (10/16/05)
NFL Head Coach
In a blatant attempt at reenergizing their “Madden” franchise, EA Sports has introduced a brand new series tailor-made for that small niche of fantasy football enthusiasts, but unfortunately, even the most rabid fans are sure to be disappointed. You play as the Assistant Coach of the Super Bowl champion Pittsburgh Steelers, and now that the season is over, you have first dibs on the coaching job of your choice. The game begins with a quick (and incredibly limited) character creation before launching you in to the real business, including interviewing for new additions to your coaching staff, re-signing players and delegating trades with other teams. Regrettably, “NFL Head Coach” feels more like a desk job than an extracurricular activity, and after sitting through your umpteenth office hour (where you’re supposed to prepare for meetings, draw new game plays, etc.) you’ll just want to fast-forward to the season opener; though even that takes a while to do thanks to the many in-game load screens. Of course, game day is an even more miserable experience. Like “Madden,” you’re in control of calling all the plays, but you don’t even get to take part in the action. Why did they even bother to make this game when “Madden” offers a perfectly suitable simulation experience… with actual gameplay? ~Jason Zingale (07/12/06)
NHL 2K8
I’ll be the first to admit that, with the exception of the absolute basics, I don’t know a damn thing about hockey. Sure, I’ve watched it on TV, seen a game in real life, and even played a variation on the street, but ask me anything about the sport that isn’t about skating, shooting and fighting and, well, you get the picture. It probably doesn’t help that my last video hockey experience was on the SNES, because the changes made to this year’s edition of 2K Sports’ NHL series are certainly worth discussing. And of what I do understand, the changes are for the better – including the addition of ProStick, a new gameplay mechanic that allows players to control their stick using the right analog. Using this new method, players can now handle the puck better, make defensive plays, and even battle for face-offs with the quick flick of the thumb. Of course, while you’re getting used to the freedom of moving the puck, you’ll also have to learn a completely different control scheme. Shooting and passing assignments have moved to the left and right bumper buttons, and though this proves to be difficult at first, it really is for the better, lending faster and smoother gameplay that results in a well-oiled arcade experience. Perhaps that’s why I enjoyed “NHL 2K8” so much, because although the game features all the depth you’d want in a top-of-the-line hockey simulation, it still offers the fast-and-furious arcade experience that anyone can pick up and play. ~Jason Zingale (09/20/07)
Pac-Man Championship Edition
Yes, this game was ridiculously shrouded and hyped as being “history making” before its official release, fueling speculation that something huge was coming for Xbox gamers everywhere. Hey, even I had my doubts when the big secret was revealed. But I caved, paid my 800 MS Points and have had the best time ever with the Pac-Man series since Ms. Pac-Man came along – and that’s truly saying something for a new Pac-Man game. In this edition, there are six new modes, two timed at five minutes each and the others at 10 minutes. The big catch to all of them is that the mazes are constantly changing as you play the game in real time. Each mode has its own variation, and each is a blast to play. The new graphics are shiny and fun, and the unobtrusive background music adds the right amount of tension. It gets insanely fast and furious, and most of all it is more addictive than it has any right to be. Bottom line: if you’ve had doubts about this title, just drop them and buy this ASAP. This is the true sequel that Mr. and Ms. Pac-Man have needed all these years. ~Jason Thompson (06/05/07)
Personal Trainer: Math
As the second installment in Nintendo’s new line of educational handheld titles, “Personal Trainer: Math” might as well be called “Brain Age: Math Edition,” because it follows the same formula of the popular series. It even has its very own Japanese professor (in this case, arithmetic guru Hideo Kageyama) who encourages you to participate in daily exams that test your speed and accuracy on everything from flash cards to adding and subtracting. Unfortunately, while the “Brain Age” games actually gave players a reason to come back every day, “Personal Trainer: Math” just doesn’t have enough substance to warrant repeat visits. For starters, you have to play on the same difficulty several times before moving up a level (a major annoyance if you’re already setting records on your first try), and more importantly, it doesn’t actually teach you anything. Instead, it’s meant to enhance the speed at which you solve problems, which may help if you’re a mathelete, but not if you’re looking for a digital tutor. The addition of a 16-player competition mode is nice since it only requires one copy to work, but it’s far from the game’s saving grace. ~Jason Zingale (01/15/09)
Peter Jackson's King Kong
Despite its amazing graphics and sometimes enjoyable gameplay, “Peter Jackson’s King Kong” is a serious exercise in patience. While many that pick up this game are probably more excited about controlling Kong than they are Adrian Brody, you’ll spend a good majority playing as the latter character. This entails the following: kill monsters, burn bushes to expose pathways, open doors, rinse and repeat. Occasionally, you’ll be given the task to find the levers needed to open the doors while you listen to Naomi Watts and Jack Black harass you in the background, but this doesn’t make the game any more difficult, or more exciting. When you do get to play as Kong, it’s fun as hell, but far too short to make a real impact on the overall experience. In fact, so little happens as you make your way from point A to B that the player is actually forced to sit in a boat for nearly five minutes while listening to the other characters talk; and this comes at the beginning of the game when you’re still not exactly sure what you’re supposed to be doing. ~Jason Zingale (12/11/05)
Pinball Hall of Fame: The Williams Edition
Gen X pinballers, take note: your favorite machines have just made their home video debut. Before they quit the business in 1999, Williams were the best pinball machine designers period, and this collection of ten machines released between 1970 and 1990 is as bulletproof a collection as you’re likely to find. Nearly every cutting edge game Williams made – Black Knight, Gorgar, Firepower, Pin*Bot, Sorcerer and Taxi, to name a few – is here, and the gameplay is remarkably lifelike. The machines have two main visual modes, one that zooms in on the ball when it is towards the top of the machine and another that emulates the player’s standard view in front of an actual machine. The former view is helpful when trying to increase the score multiplier, but watch out if the ball comes flying down towards the bottom flippers. Sadly, there is no online option, and Jive Time’s frustration factor far outweighs its retro cool factor (we would much rather have seen High Speed here in its place), but for a pinball fan, there is far too much to love here to be disappointed with its minor shortcomings. With any luck, Crave will follow this with a Bally edition, complete with The Addams Family, Creature from the Black Lagoon, Attack from Mars, and Twilight Zone. Just sayin’. ~David Medsker (04/28/08)
Rhythm Heaven
It’s easy to see why Nintendo chose “Rhythm Heaven” to release in conjunction with the latest iteration of their popular handheld console. An early contender for Game of the Year, “Rhythm Heaven” is a fun and maddeningly addictive blend of “Elite Beat Agents” and “WarioWare” consisting of over 30 different minigames and even more unlockable extras. The game has players tapping and flicking their way through ten stages of rhythmic challenges, with each stage consisting of four minigames and a final remix level that incorporates everything you’ve just played into a fast-paced mash-up. Games are unlocked one at a time (which is sure to anger those with no patience), but if you are having trouble on a certain challenge, you’ll eventually be able to skip it after so many tries. And don’t think you won’t be tempted, because unlike “WarioWare,” there are several minigames that are actually quite difficult. Even worse, if there’s a particular beat that you can’t seem to nail down, not only will you have to complete it once, but you’ll have to do it again in that stage’s remix level. Still, practice really does make perfect when it comes to “Rhythm Heaven,” and while there are times that you’ll want to throw your DS against the wall, a majority of the experience is a blast thanks to the integration of music into the gameplay (something EA’s “Zubo” failed to do) and the large variety of challenges to choose from. This isn’t your average minigame collection, but then again, what more would you expect from the game tasked with ushering in the next generation of the DS? ~Jason Zingale (04/15/09)
Rock Revolution
Konami was making music games long before “Guitar Hero” and “Rock Band” became household names, so why does their first foray into the rhythm game genre feel so dated? Take your pick. There is no character creation system or vocal parts, the set list is skewed almost exclusively to a certain audience, and of the songs included, not a single track is an original recording. To make matters worse, the interface is an absolute mess. Notes awkwardly stream down the left side of the screen, while the Audience Meter (which reflects the strength of your performance) sits in the top right corner, making it virtually impossible to gauge whether or not you’re in trouble of failing a song. “Rock Revolution” isn’t a complete washout, though. The different types of challenges make career mode slightly more interesting than just having to complete songs, with Poison Notes (where you must achieve a specific score while avoiding blacked-out “poison” notes) ranking among the best. There are even a few challenges for the hardcore crowd, including one (Band Practice) that has you playing an entire song without note markers, and another (Studio Recording) where you must play it without any markers or errors. Nevertheless, “Rock Revolution” is inferior to its competitors in almost every way, and until Konami can catch up, they have no business messing around in a genre that’s already beginning to get a little crowded. ~Jason Zingale (11/22/08)
Saw
Looking to join the ranks of other survival horror favorites, "Saw" makes its way on to the Xbox 360 and the PlayStation 3. While doing a decent job of creating dark and suspenseful environments, it lacks in so many other areas, chief among them the fact that the puzzles tend to be overly simple, which is sad, since this is one of the strong points of the movie franchise. Instead, you spend most of your time running around attempting to avoid booby traps like a morbid version of "Pitfall." The combat system is horribly clunky and seems like a distant afterthought – from development to release, it's been awhile since I've seen something this poorly executed on next-gen consoles. While this might fail to capture any fans of the movies, it will probably be coveted by achievement whores. I highly recommend you don't buy this title even if you're a fan of the franchise, due to the lack of replay value and overall difficulty. Rent this if you absolutely must play it. ~Rich DeWester (10/19/09)
Scene It? Box Office Smash!
It’s been a year since “Scene It? Lights, Camera, Action!” debuted on the Xbox 360. For some reason, it’s taken this long to finally produce some more content for the game. Thankfully we now have the excellent “Box Office Smash!” (which can also be purchased with four Big Button controllers if you never got the original game) that features hundreds of new questions, clips, and games to satisfy your movie trivia jones. What’s more, the game can finally be taken online and played with anyone, anywhere, which is undoubtedly this game’s biggest attraction. Unlike the first game, however, players are not docked points for wrong answers after the first round. Strange. But on the other hand, players can also create a custom game to their liking. It’s still tons of fun and easily one of the best party games out there on any console, period. ~Jason Thompson (12/01/08)
Scene It? Lights, Camera, Action
Designed for the film buff in all of us, the DVD board game “Scene It” has become increasingly popular during the last few years, spawning several sequels and themed expansion packs that help keep the questions fresh and challenging. Microsoft, knowing a good thing when it sees one, snatched up the rights to the movie trivia game and transported it to the Xbox 360 – complete with a visual makeover and four big button controllers that make the party experience even more fun than before. The game itself is a little different from its TV counterpart. Instead of rolling dice and answering questions based on where you land, a game show host doing a bad Fred Willard impersonation carts you around a studio lot to play different puzzles (21 in all) and rack up points. Every puzzle is different – from answering questions based on movie clips to unscrambling still scenes – and while repetition is inevitable, the game’s pool of nearly 2,000 questions ensures that you can play a few rounds in one night without that ever happening. The $60 price tag may sound a bit high, but considering you’re also getting four controllers in the package, it's actually a pretty sweet deal. ~Jason Zingale (11/18/07)
Scrabble
Electronic Arts has been making the most of its deal with Hasbro over the last year with console versions of popular board games, so it was only a matter of time before a pocket edition of “Scrabble” made its debut on the Nintendo DS. Granted, it took a little longer than expected, but fans of the word game will be pleased to discover that it’s EA’s best adaptation yet. Featuring two different modes of play (Classic and Speed) and an all-new, Scrabble-inspired card game called Slam, there’s plenty of value packed into the little cartridge. The addition of multiplayer is obviously the game’s strongest feature (especially after EA screwed the pooch with “Monopoly” and “Trivial Pursuit”), but they’ve also included adjustable levels of AI to ensure a good challenge for beginners and veterans alike. And if you’re still having trouble, there’s even an in-game dictionary and a training mode designed to help increase your vocabulary and teach different scoring strategies. Some people have complained about various gameplay issues, including letters dropping into random spaces on the board, but my experience couldn’t have been better. In fact, I was so concerned about these supposed glitches that it actually took me surprise when none of them occurred. This is Scrabble in its purest form, and though it doesn’t have as many bells and whistles as the digital versions of its fellow board games, that’s probably for the best. ~Jason Zingale (04/09/09)
Sid Meier's Railroads!
For those people who enjoy trains but don’t want a headache of a sim that involves worrying about everything else in the world that goes along with running them, then “Sid Meier’s Railroads!” is the game for you. Players get to set up trains and train systems in a variety of scenarios without having to worry too much about the whole economic hoo-ha that lies underneath. Just get your choo-choos going where they need to go, and it’s a pretty smooth ride. The in-game tutorial is nice, to the point, and not hard to understand, which is always a plus when it comes to sims. Players can go the solo route (and can even choose to employ a few computer opponents, or none at all), or take it online and have a go. Though, it seems like any multiplayer would be better suited for a LAN experience (which “Railroads!” also supports) than a full-blown universal competition. But what the hell, it’s all good. It’s kind of like how “Sim Theme Park” was a lot easier to dive into and enjoy than the “Holy shit, I have to do everything?” experience of “Roller Coaster Tycoon.” ~Jason Thompson (11/07/06)
Silent Hill: Homecoming
When it comes to survival horror games, you might as well include a nightlight and a stress ball with my copy, because I can never handle the level of tension that results from traversing through pitch-dark locales with monsters lurking around every corner. "Silent Hill: Homecoming" involves a little more than running around underground mental hospitals fending off nightmarish freaks and chasing after a kid with some serious psychological problems, but you wouldn’t know it from the first few hours of the game. Things do pick up eventually as protagonist Alex Shepherd investigates the connection between his hometown of Shepherd Glen and the eerie Silent Hill, but whether or not you have the patience (or the courage) to make it that far is a whole another topic. Though the game’s combat system is simple enough, it’s never quite as efficient as you’d expect. As soon as you’re surrounded by multiple enemies, attempting to switch between weapons and gulping health drinks proves fruitless, while the save points are spread so far apart that you’ll eventually get sick of playing the same section over and over, only to be killed by some ultra-cheap attack that forces you to do it again. The lack of seamless loading also makes exploration a bit of a chore and the shoddy flashlight you’re equipped with is one of the most useless items in video game history, but as long as you can get past some of the more annoying flaws early on, it shouldn't prevent you from enjoying the ride. ~Jason Zingale (10/16/08)
SimCity DS
We’ve all played some variation of “SimCity” before, but the latest addition offers two distinct features previously unavailable to fans of the popular series: portability and interactivity. What is essentially a port of the 1999 PC classic “SimCity 3000,” the DS-exclusive title places you once again in the role of the Mayor, tasked with running your very own city (or one of eight default cities) by laying down landscapes, erecting landmarks, and even surviving the odd natural disaster or monster attack. In fact, with the exception that you can now carry your city with you wherever you go, the biggest change to the game is how you deal with such an attack. With the use of the DS microphone and stylus, you’ll blow out fires and fend off Godzilla wannabes not like you’re the Mayor, but rather God himself. It’s truly an overpowering experiencing, but isn’t that what the SimCity games have always been about? ~Jason Zingale (07/08/07)
The Sims 2
The PC-friendly sequel to Will Wright’s mega-hit franchise has been out almost a year now, and, in true Electronic Arts fashion, a console version has just been unleashed. Unfortunately, there really isn’t anything different from the previous versions of the game, apart from a new cooking feature and a misleadingly titled “Story Mode.” It still takes you way too long to pee (I counted almost ten minutes once) and disturbingly quick to get a full night’s rest (I went to bed at 11 p.m. and woke up at 3:00 a.m. totally refreshed). If you’re a diehard fan of the series, this is a no-brainer, but you’re much better off picking up the more enjoyable PC version and its inevitable onslaught of expansions. ~Jason Zingale (11/05/05)
SingStar Queen
If there’s one thing that the “Rock Band” and “Guitar Hero” games have been desperately missing, it’s a little bit of stadium glam-rock courtesy of Queen. Though “Guitar Hero” actually featured one of the band’s more radio-friendly hits (“Killer Queen”) in the very first installment of the popular rhythm game, and even more recently released a downloadable song pack, that’s still a pretty weak response to arguably one of the greatest rock bands of the last 30 years. Thankfully, Sony recognized the glaring omission of popular songs like “Bohemian Rhapsody,” “Under Pressure,” “We Will Rock You” and “You’re My Best Friend” and decided that Queen deserved their very own game. Granted, it isn’t quite as spectacular as “Guitar Hero Metallica” or the upcoming “The Beatles: Rock Band,” but for those looking to embrace their inner Freddy Mercury, there’s no format more appropriate than the karaoke stylings of "SingStar." You better be one hell of a singer, though, because Mercury is hard to emulate. Still, with 25 chart-topping hits (each with an accompanying music video) and all the usual game modes, “SingStar Queen” is sure to entertain even the band’s most tone-deaf fans. ~Jason Zingale (07/31/09)
Smarty Pants
Piggybacking the recent release of “Scene It? Lights, Camera, Action” on the Xbox 360, Electronic Arts’ “Smarty Pants” brings the trivia game experience to the family friendly Wii at a budget price. Including categories like Games, Entertainment, Sports, Fashion, Art, Places & People, Science and Books, the title is like a virtual Trivial Pursuit – minus the impossible questions and cool pie pieces. You can also play on your own in Solo Mode (which is really just a glorified practice session), or with friends and family. The Family Mode isn’t quite as fun, as you’ll simply try to answer a set number of questions in a given time limit, but Friends Mode offers a game show-like experience where you spin a wheel, buzz in to answer questions, and even use collectible cards strategically to make questions harder for opponents or narrow down answers for yourself. With three different game modes to choose from, age-appropriate questions, and over 20,000 questions at your disposal, “Smarty Pants” isn’t just surprisingly fun – it’ll make you smarter and improve your cognitive abilities. True, the questions are repeated far more often than you’d expect from such a large pool, but because they’re asked at such a break-neck pace, you’ll hardly find time to stop and notice. ~Jason Zingale (12/26/07)
Sonic Riders
Ugh. It’s Sonic’s 15th Anniversary this year, so who knows how many more of his games gamers will be slogging through. After the drudgery that was “Shadow the Hedgehog,” you wouldn’t think that boredom could be equaled, and you’d be wrong. Here, Sonic and the entire set of characters from Sonic’s world are all lined up to compete in some giant grand prix. You race on hover boards. You can pull off pointless Tony Hawk style tricks that you get graded on. Oh yeah, and you collect rings. Lots and lots of shiny rings. You’d think Sonic would be well-suited to a racing experience, and you’d be wrong again. The game looks good, and the controls are responsive enough. But in the end it’s the same old Sonic in yet another new wrapper. Definitely one for the kids, and possibly worth one night’s rental for everyone else. There’s far better racing to be had out there. ~Jason Thompson (04/07/06)
Space Giraffe
It’s been a while in the making, but Jeff Minter’s new psychedelic blaster is finally here on Xbox Live Arcade. Minter, if you don’t know, is a hero in video game designer history books, having created such classics as “Attack of the Mutant Camels” and “Gridrunner.” “Space Giraffe” is a bit like “Tempest,” but not really, as the player can collect powerups and jump off the playing field with them, allowing him to blast objects that have crept to the edge of the board. This, of course, is in addition to the classic smart bomb, which blows up everything real good. There are 100 levels, and you’ll get the best wow! factor playing it at night or in a dark room for maximum visual effect. The typical assortment of bizarre Minter-approved animals are in tow, and the techno soundtrack is ginchy-sweet, too. All in all, a fine purchase for 400 MS points, if you’re into Minter or games like “Tempest.” ~Jason Thompson (08/27/07)
Stronghold Legends
Another day, another RTS. PC gamers can’t seem to get enough of these things, so there winds up being a glut of them, much like FPS games flood the console market. Still, “Stronghold Legends” gets the job done. This time around the player gets to choose a character from one of three legends - King Arthur, Siegfried of Germany, or Count Vlad Dracul. Ah, those vampires. The kids really seem to dig them. There are 26 missions and three campaigns in total, and that means plenty of gametime in addition to the multiplayer modes. Suffice it to say that if you’re into these types of games, then “Stronghold Legends” is worthy of your time with nice visuals, a good interface, and an easy-to-follow in-game tutorial to get you up and running. It may all feel vaguely familiar because it is, but there’s nothing wrong with playing it safe and making a game that will shift some units.~Jason Thompson (12/03/06)
Super Dragon Ball Z
One would think that a new game integrating the talent of “Street Fighter II” producer Noritaka Funamizu with the legendary “Dragon Ball Z” franchise would equal unparalleled awesomeness, but alas, that is not the case with the latest PS2 fighter, “Super Dragon Ball Z.” Not unlike the gazillion other “DBZ” titles that have congested the genre over the past five years, “Super DBZ” puts you in the role of any one of 18 playable characters (including minor personalities like Chi-Chi and the never-before-featured Mecha Frieza) on your journey to collect all seven Dragon Balls. Insert joke here. Of course, it doesn’t take very long to do so (about 30 minutes by my count), and though there’s plenty of unlockable content along the way, the single-player campaign quickly becomes monotonous. Multiplayer isn’t much better, and because the control system shadows that of the classic “Street Fighter II” series, it’s almost too easy to perform lightning-quick combos on your opponent - so much so that it’s actually possible to defeat your enemy without them countering even once. Is it really that bad? No, but it’s bad enough, and for now that’s all that matters. ~Jason Zingale (07/28/06)
Super Mario All-Stars
It’s hard to believe that it’s been 25 years since the Italian plumber known as Mario won the hearts of gamers across the world in his first of many Goomba-stomping, mushroom-chomping adventures. In that time, he’s become an international icon, appearing in some of the best games ever made and serving as Nintendo’s official mascot. The importance certainly hasn’t been lost on the Big N, as they’ve decided to celebrate the occasion by releasing a special commemorative edition of “Super Mario All-Stars” for the Wii. The collection is essentially a port of the SNES cartridge containing “Super Mario Bros.,” “Super Mario Bros.: The Lost Levels,” “Super Mario Bros. 2,” and “Super Mario Bros. 3,” complete with enhanced graphics, updated sound and the ability to save your progress. Some might argue that the absence of “Super Mario World” (which was included for a limited time on the SNES version) is a deal-breaker, while others may have already purchased the games on the Virtual Console, but at $30, it’s definitely the bargain that Nintendo intended. It would have been nice if the games were given another graphic overhaul, but at least they’ve included a little extra value with a CD featuring the main theme for all ten “Super Mario” games and a booklet tracking the history of the series. It’s not much, but most longtime fans won’t be able to resist. ~Jason Zingale (12/17/10)
Top Spin 3
The latest installment in 2K Sports’ semi-popular tennis series may seem tailor-made for the Nintendo Wii, but after struggling just to win a match for the umpteenth time, you’ll likely fall back to “Wii Sports” like comfort food after a bad breakup. “Top Spin 3” is a failure when it comes to creating an enjoyable experience, and though it claims to have “easy pick up and play” controls, that’s simply not the case. Not only is the learning curve harder than usual, but all ten in-game tutorials are absolute musts if you hope to learn the basics. That’s not exactly what you’d call pick up and play, but then again, it’s also not the only issue plaguing the game. Citing “complete Wii functionality” on the back of the box, left-handed players will be surprised to discover that they've been completely forgotten about. Designed only with right-handed players in mind, lefties could theoretically play the game using their dominant hand, but it would be near-impossible to master. Of course, when the controls are already wonky to begin with, it’s hard to imagine anyone being able to master the game. Add to that some ugly, last-gen graphics and only a handful of licensed players, and you’re looking at one of the most unattractive sports releases of the year. ~Jason Zingale (07/04/08)
Transformers
“Transformers: The Game” isn’t one of the worst movie tie-ins ever made, nor is it a bad offering for a usually dull summer season. But the negatives far outweigh the positives in what is essentially a lifeless button masher designed for those who do judge a book by its cover. “Transformers” puts the gamer in control of choosing between protecting the Earth as the Autobots, or destroying it as the evil Decepticons. No matter which side you choose, you can be sure of one thing: you’re gonna look positively awesome while doing it. And shiny. Very, very shiny. Unfortunately, that’s where the fun stops, because while fighting off the hordes of shape-shifting alien robots yields amazing visuals and mild entertainment, that’s all there is to it. Simply drive to whatever location you’re pointed towards on the map, transform into giant robot form, fight off some minions, battle a boss and then repeat. That’s right, you spend half of the time driving around town in vehicle form, and while watching them transform is just as glorious as seeing it up on the big screen, the controls behind the wheel are frustrating as hell. It’s like you’re driving in the rain, where even the slightest turn causes the whole car to go slip-sliding to the other side of the road. It’ll have you pressing the eject button in no time. ~Jason Zingale (07/17/07)
Trivial Pursuit
Following the disastrous release of “Monopoly,” Electronic Arts was bound to have a difficult time convincing people that they didn’t ruin “Trivial Pursuit” as well. After all, if they can screw up one popular board game, what’s to say they won’t do it again? Thankfully, that isn’t quite the case here, because while “Trivial Pursuit” is plagued by some of the same problems as its predecessor, it also fixes a few other issues as well. For starters, the ability to download additional question packs increases replay value right out of the box, while the new game modes prevent “Trivial Pursuit” from turning into an all-night soiree. Those actually smart enough to play Classic Mode will find an almost identical experience to the board version, but the real improvement is the inclusion of the single-player Clear the Board mode and the multiplayer Facts & Friends mode. The latter serves as an excellent party game where all of the players share a single piece, score points for every question correctly answered, and use bonuses to steal pies and more. Nevertheless, any game that doesn’t feature online play is a failure in my mind, and even more so with a title like “Trivial Pursuit.” It’s the only reason most people would even consider owning the game in the first place, and though EA’s latest attempt certainly isn’t as bad as its last, “Trivial Pursuit” is still strictly for fans only. ~Jason Zingale (03/25/09)
True Swing Golf
When it comes to playing golf, or even watching it on TV, you can bet that you won’t find me standing anywhere near the action, but stick me in front of a golf video game (like “Golden Tee” or “Tiger Woods”) and I’ll be hooked for hours. This philosophy rings only truer with Nintendo’s latest sports title, “True Swing Golf,” a highly addictive golf outing for the DS that gives the player even more control over his swing. Offering two different game modes (single player career and wireless multiplayer match play) and player customizability, the golf title’s biggest asset is its utilization of the system’s touch screen. The days of perfecting power meters are no more; instead, you’ll have to rely on a steady hand and a quick flip of the wrist (while using your stylus) to send your ball up the fairway. You can even slice, hook, and add spin to your ball by hitting it in specific regions - skills you’ll have to practice if you want to compete in the later rounds of the game’s championship mode. This is virtual golf at its best, and I simply can't get enough. ~Jason Zingale (03/07/06)
UEFA Champions League: 2006-2007
What? It’s been more than three months since Electronics Arts last released a soccer game for the Xbox 360? Well then, by all means, bring on the next half-assed title right away. We wouldn’t want to play the same soccer game for too long, even if “FIFA 07” is the closest thing to perfection since the sport entered the next-gen. Instead, let’s trade in this version of the game and use the 10 bucks we get towards the far superior one. Despite the fact that “UEFA Champions League” uses the same exact game engine as its predecessor, the tournament-centric title feels a lot more sluggish and unfinished. Character models aren’t as rich, players jog rather than run, and yes, there’s even a card-based challenge for all you fantasy freaks. Ye gods, what did we soccer fans do to deserve such treatment? Sure, it’s the most popular sport in the world, but that doesn’t mean we need a new version of the damn game every time a different event takes place. What’s next, the “Gold Cup” edition featuring all of our “favorite” M.L.S. and Mexican teams? Let’s hope not. But if U.S. soccer ever does catch on, I wouldn’t put it past them. ~Jason Zingale (04/01/07)
UEFA Euro 2008
With the Euro 2008 tournament just around the corner, it isn’t very surprising that EA would want to take full advantage, but while the company’s latest soccer title serves as a nice appetizer of what we should expect to see in “FIFA 09,” it’s simply not worth the full price. The gameplay is pretty similar to that of last year’s installment, and while there was plenty to admire about the changes that were made, it also resulted in some pretty low scoring games. Thankfully, EA hasn’t just repackaged “FIFA 08” under a new title with fewer teams, but they’ve also added some very interesting game modes that should at least keep you occupied until the new season being. Among the best is Captain Your Country, which allows you (and up to three friends) to compete cooperatively to win games, but against one another for the captaincy. Using real-time player ratings that change based on performance, it’s essentially a glorified version of Be a Pro, but with actual depth. Also included is a take on the Challenge Mode called Story of Qualifying, which allows you to recreate and rewrite history by playing out famous scenarios, and an online competition (EURO Online Knockout Draw) that pits gamers from other countries against one another in a 16-team elimination tournament. All of the points you earn while connected to Live will also go towards your country of choice in a month-long community competition called Battle of Nations, but unless you have an interest in the future of European national teams, “UEFA Euro 2008” probably isn’t for you. ~Jason Zingale (05/30/08)
Virtua Tennis 2009
When “Virtua Tennis 3” was released back in 2007, it didn’t exactly feel like a next-gen game. Sure, it featured everything fans loved about the previous installments, but that was the problem – it came across more like a retread than an improvement. The fine folks at Sega have had two years to remedy the situation, but it doesn’t look like they put that time to very good use. For all intents and purposes, “Virtua Tennis 2009” plays exactly like its predecessor. The load screens are still unbearably long, the ranking system is hopelessly flawed, and at one point, a glitch occurred that replaced my character with someone completely different. The pick-up-and-play controls remain the series’ biggest strength, but when you’re beating guys so effortlessly that you might as well be playing with one hand tied behind your back, the fun doesn’t last for long. Part of the problem is the aforementioned ranking system, which only advances you two places for every match you win. It’s a long road to the top, and unless you’re a diehard tennis fan who doesn’t mind the monotony, you’ll likely give up before ever reaching pro status. It’s a fitting arrangement when you consider British superstar Tim Henman (notorious for having never won a Grand Slam) is your in-game trainer, but while “Virtua Tennis 2009” is a great excuse to bat around the ball with a friend, it’s hardly worth the $60 price tag. ~Jason Zingale (07/03/09)
Wallace & Gromit's Grand Adventures: Fright of the Bumblebees
Aardman Animation’s “Wallace & Gromit” short films have never failed to entertain, but with Telltale Games’ release of the new episodic series, “Wallace & Gromit’s Grand Adventures,” you can’t help but feel like the cheese-loving Brit and his dependable mutt were made for the point-and-click adventure genre. The first episode, titled “Fright of the Bumblebees,” finds Wallace and Gromit struggling to get their new honey business off the ground so that they can pay back some long-running debts. When Wallace’s plan to mass produce pollinate to feed his hive of worker bees has an unexpected consequence, however, he must team up with Gromit to save West Wallaby Street from an insect invasion. Split up into four acts, “Fright of the Bumblebees” puts you in control of both Wallace and Gromit as you take turns solving various puzzles. Though an inconsistent frame rate leads to random occurrences of choppy animation, the game looks, sounds and plays exactly like it should. Some might have more trouble with the puzzles than others, but even if you are a point-and-click veteran, the game should still take a few hours to complete. That may not sound like much considering the steep price (800 Microsoft Points), but “Fright of the Bumblebees” is a cracking investment for fans of both the titular characters and classic adventure games. ~Jason Zingale (05/31/09)
You Don't Know Jack
It’s been more than a decade since Jellyvision released the last full installment of its trivia party game, “You Don’t Know Jack,” and while other titles like “Scene It?” have helped fill the void in its absence, the game’s long-awaited return only reminds us why it never should have left. Hosted once again by Cookie Masterson, the new edition packs the series’ trademark humor and zany, pop culture-inspired questions into 73 unique episodes that you can play with the computer or three friends locally and online. Each episode is comprised of 10 questions – eight multiple-choice Shorties, one DisOrDat, and a final round Jack Attack – and allows everyone to submit an answer, with each player earning or losing points based on speed and, more importantly, whether they got the question right. You can also still “screw” your fellow competitors by forcing them to answer a question, and there’s a new addition to the game called the Wrong Answer of the Day that actually rewards you for purposely answering a specific question incorrectly. It might not seem fair to people who are used to more traditional trivia games, but then again, there’s nothing traditional about “You Don’t Know Jack,” as witnessed by the goofy opening numbers and quirky faux commercials that play in the background. Welcome back “Jack,” you’ve been sorely missed. ~Jason Zingale (02/17/11)
Zubo
It’s hard to imagine a game like “Zubo” being released on a system other than the Nintendo DS, because without its touch screen capabilities, it loses any edge it might have over other kid-friendly titles. “Zubo” doesn’t have an incredibly deep story – something about saving the world of Zubalon from the evil Big Head and his army of Zubo clones – but the real charm of the game can be found in its unique gameplay and colorful cast of characters, who look like the lovechildren of LEGOs and Boom Blox. Of course, don’t let yourself be tricked by the seemingly wide variety of Zubos too choose from. There may be 55 different ones to befriend and fight alongside, but they ultimately fall into one of three categories. Additionally, while you can reconfigure your team of three Zubos at any time, the latest recruit is almost always better than your weakest link, prompting countless roster changes throughout the course of the game. The combat in “Zubo” is more exciting than the traditional RPG, with moves being executed in the same way you would play a note in “Guitar Hero,” but it’s far from the rhythm-based experience that it promises. Sure, there’s both music and tapping involved, but neither seem to go hand-in-hand like they’re supposed to. Thankfully, “Zubo” still manages to be a pretty solid RPG that, despite failing to win over the older crowd, is guaranteed to please younger gamers looking for something with a little more bite than “Pokémon.” ~Jason Zingale (03/30/09)