Texas Ranger, Cuban drug lord. Cuban drug lord, Texas Ranger. Sure, Cordell Walker possesses a roundhouse kick that could send Tony back to the Bay of Pigs, but the scrappy Tony has stared down far scarier things than someone’s right leg (ahem, chainsaw), and he sure as heck isn’t afraid of law enforcement. But don’t assume Tony has an edge because of his “little friend.” After all, Cord Walker once shot down a plane by pointing his finger at it and yelling, “Bang!"
Chuck Norris, "Walker Texas Ranger"
C’mon, he’s a Texas Ranger! What else do you need? Well, for those unfamiliar with Cordell Walker's exploits, perhaps a bit more detail is required. Raised by a Native American named Ray Firewalker, Walker served in the USMC – in the, ahem, Special Forces – during Vietnam, then returned to Texas to become a lawman. He’s always good for a tussle, usually finishing the proceedings (and his opponent) with his trademark roundhouse kick. There’s also an unsubstantiated report that his tears cure cancer, but the boys at the lab are still double-checking their findings on that bit.
Definitive badass moment:
When he deploys his aforementioned roundhouse kick, a moment which is invariably shown at least twice in rapid succession just to emphasize its badassedness.
Classic badass line: "You have the right…” (He kicks the suspect) “…to remain silent.”
Occupation: Texas Ranger, of course
Strengths: Marine Special Forces training, a mean roundhouse kick
Weaknesses: Not everyone subscribes to his strict moral code
Al Pacino, "Scarface"
What do you say about the most profane gangster in the history of profane gangsters? Local drug lord Frank Lopez secured a green card for a young punk named Tony Montana in exchange for killing one of his fellow Cuban refugees, and the Miami cocaine trade would never be the same. Tony’s rise to prominence was swift, thanks to his strict adherence to the tenets of success (“…when you get the money, then you get the power. Then when you get the power, then you get the women”), and there is no one in his crew that is too good to kill, which keeps his people honest. Sure, not everyone appreciates his brash style of management, but when the chips are down, Tony can always rely on his “little friend,” a combination M16 and grenade launcher.
Definitive badass moment: When Tony watches emotionlessly while his associate Angel is dismembered with a chainsaw during a drug deal gone wrong.
Classic badass line: “I kill a communist for fun, but for a green card, I gonna carve him up real nice.”
Occupation: Drug lord
Strengths: Blindly ambitious, will do whatever it takes to win
Weaknesses: She don’t lie, she don’t lie, she don’t lie…cocaine