It's that time of year again
12/19/2002
Codding Home / Sports Channel / Bullz-Eye Home
To commemorate the holiday season last year, I... well, I guess I plagiarized Clement C. Moore's classic poem, "'Twas the Night Before Christmas," by giving it a distinct sports flavor. I wanted to share my love for the holidays, I wanted to give my readers a gift just from me, and I wanted to make my own contribution to the spirit of the season.
But basically, I needed to write a column and, as many have learned in high school and college, plagiarism makes a tough job much, much easier.
Just ask nearly every popular rapper who's made millions by "sampling" from other artists.
Much to my surprise, though, last year's version of "'Twas the Week Before Christmas" was actually a modest success, judging by the heaps of fan e-mail I received... okay, so there were five messages, but that was five more than I expected.
Mostly, I only hear from you guys when I piss you off or make a mistake.
Anyway, this year I figured I'd chime in with another holiday classic from Bullz-Eye.com. It's not an original but I hope you enjoy it because I put a lot of time and effort into it.
Okay, so I put time and effort into it. The amount of both is up for debate.
Either way, here's hoping you have a fantastic holiday with your family and friends, be safe and please, if you get stuck watching the Hawaii Bowl between Tulane and the Rainbow Warriors on Christmas Day, just turn it off.
It's not worth it.
*************
'Twas just days before Christmas and to many sports fans,
The bowl games were chosen by the letters B,C and S,
But the NFL playoff picture still was a mess.
Charlie Hustle was nestled all snug in his bed,
While visions of reinstatement danced in his head.
And Terrell, with his pom-poms and trusty Sharpie,
Was determined to show just how obnoxious he could be.
When from Montreal there arose quite a fuss,
Because Omar Minaya had some trades to discuss.
While much of the talk involved Vazquez and Colon,
Vlad's availability still is not known.
Jeff Kent's now in Houston, Jim Thome's in Philly,
But Ed Wade will soon realize that contract's quite silly.
So are the Lakers, who've lost more than they've won,
Perhaps the downfall in LA has finally begun.
And in the North Pole, Santa wonders aloud,
"Which AFC teams will make their fans proud?"
The East race is tight, the West is the same,
He looks at the standings and lists the contenders by name:
"There's Oakland, there's Pittsburgh and the 'Phins from Miami!
And the Titans, the Patriots and the Colts up in Indy!
These final two weeks will be interesting indeed,
Except for the Browns, who can't hold a lead."
St. Nick also pulls for Houston's Yao Ming,
With Cuttino and Franchise, they could win the whole thing.
Of course, they'd have to get past Dirk, Nash and the Mavs,
While the Nuggets and Bulls fight for LeBron with the Cavs.
After Santa's big day, he plans to watch all the bowls,
He likes the Sooners over the Huskies, but he can't stand the 'Noles.
And with the Buckeyes from Columbus getting thirteen,
Santa called his bookie and wagered some green.
Clarett is a monster, the Buckeyes defense is scary,
And trading Cooper for Tressel makes this holiday merry.
Coop couldn't beat UM throughout his forgettable career,
But Tressel's owned the Wolverines for the past two years.
Just a little farther south down I-71,
Cincinnati fans aren't having much fun.
The Bengals are 1-13 and Griffey's a bust,
But they'll get the Heisman winner, much to Carson's disgust.
And then there's the Rams, who've already dropped eight,
The play of Marc Bulger has sparked much debate.
The Eagles, meanwhile, lost their leader McNabb,
But no worries because Koy and A.J. have been fab.
We saw Tyson, New England and the Rally Monkey in '02,
But now it's nearly time for '03 to debut.
So you'll hear Santa call from his sleigh after dinner,
"Merry Christmas to all, and may you root for a winner."
Questions/comments? Send
all e-mails to jcodding@bullz-eye.com.