These rules weren't made to be broken
11/21/2001
Codding Home / Sports Channel / Bullz-Eye Home
Stand back, everybody... there's a new bully on the playground.
The Cleveland Browns.
We've been waiting patiently for this day for more than a decade, not merely since 1995 when Art Modell vacated the Erie Shores for the warmth of a new stadium in Baltimore. As Browns fans, we've been waiting for a winner since the late-1980s, a team that could smack the league's greats in the mouth, step over them on the way to the end zone and then come back for seconds. The Cleveland teams that played at the old Municipal Stadium in the 1980s were like that. The Bernie Kosar-led Browns bulldozed their way to the AFC Championship game in both 1987 and 1988 before falling victim to John Elway and the Denver Broncos. They were feared. They were respected.
And now, they're back.
But it's not necessarily the Browns' 6-4 record that signals a football rebirth in C-Town. It's not quarterback Tim Couch's emergence. It's not the aggressive attitude head coach Butch Davis has instilled in his young players, and it's not even the current Browns sweeping the season series with the former Browns and defending Super Bowl champion Baltimore Ravens. All of that's great, and it certainly signifies a marked improvement over last year's 3-13 embarrassment and 1999's 2-14 debauchery.
Instead, we know the 2001 Cleveland Browns are for real because we're reading about unregistered firearms and late-night drug busts in the sports section of the local newspapers again. Our players' names are showing up on police reports across the Midwest. And unlike the past two years, we see stories about our team on SportsCenter now, not for how poorly they're playing on the field but for how poorly they're making decisions off the field.
Ah, it's great to be a fan, ain't it?
Just one day after notching the biggest win in the expansion Browns' history -- a 27-17 victory in Baltimore -- Cleveland defensive back Lamar Chapman and FB/TE Mike Sellers were pulled over around 10:35 Monday night when police noticed Sellers' pickup truck swerving in and out of traffic on W 25th St. in Cleveland. Inside the truck, the arresting officer found some marijuana and what later was determined to be traces of cocaine on a dollar bill.
Nice.
Just about four hours later, rookie defensive lineman Gerard Warren, Cleveland's first pick in the 2001 draft, was arrested in Pittsburgh for having an unlicensed pistol in his car after officers originally noticed someone in Warren's Chevy Suburban smoking what looked to be a joint.
Oh yeah, we're big time now, baby!
I mean, not only are we battling for a playoff invitation in the wide-open AFC Central... not only have we beaten the defending champs twice this year... not only have we allowed the third-lowest point total in the AFC this season... we've also got potheads, coke sniffers and an aspiring marksman! If that's not a recipe for success, then I don't know what is... . Look out.
This scenario is really getting old. When will these dumbass athletes figure it out? It all seems relatively simple to me:
YOU CAN'T DO DRUGS. No pot, no blow, no crack, no ecstasy. Nothing. And just a word of advice: It's best to keep your bongs, pipes and joints at home when you go out at night.
YOU CAN'T KEEP UNREGISTERED GUNS IN YOUR CAR. You're really not supposed to have unregistered guns at all, guys, but at least keep them out of your friggin' cars. Oh yeah, it's still illegal if you have them in your SUV... .
YOU CAN'T GET LOADED AT A BAR ALL NIGHT AND THEN DRIVE YOUR CAR HOME. Not even if you've got cruise control.
YOU CAN'T BEAT UP WOMEN. Period. Not if she won't dance with you at a club... not even if she refuses to go home with you to have your next illegitimate kid. A lot of you seem to have a problem with this one... I'm looking in your general direction, Lawrence Phillips. And I see you hiding back there, Anthony Mason.
Doesn't seem very difficult, does it?
So why do people like Baltimore RB Jamal Lewis just not get it? The guy's already out for the year with a torn knee ligament, and then we find out he's also been suspended by the league for violating the substance abuse policy for the second time in his two-year career. While it's true he won't miss any games during his suspension because he's already inactive, Lewis will not be able to utilize team trainers and facilities for four weeks while he continues rehabbing his torn-up knee.
Or how about Ohio State quarterback Steve Bellisari? He was arrested last week for drunk driving after blowing a 0.22, more than twice the Ohio legal blood-alcohol limit of 0.10. OSU head coach Jim Tressel immediately suspended Bellisari "indefinitely." Only later did we find out "indefinitely" is apparently slang for "one week"... Belli-Sorry -- as many Buckeyes fans prefer to call him -- was back on the team this past Monday. Way to unleash the iron fist, Jimmy boy.
And then there's L.A. Clippers forward Lamar Odom, who was suspended this year after testing positive for marijuana for the second time in his three-year career. Of course, after getting slapped on the wrist last season for smoking pot, Odom said it was a stupid mistake and he promised his teammates, coaches and fans he'd never do it again. When he broke that promise this year, he tearfully admitted at a press conference that he'd "experimented" with the drug and now he had to face the consequences.
Hey, Lamar -- smoking dope once is experimentation. Anything beyond that is recreation. Incidentally, I find it hard to believe he's only smoked pot twice... and both times he was caught by the league. Amazing.
Look, I'm not going to sit here and deliver some sugary "Don't do drugs" mantra to these athletes or to you readers. Personally, I could care less if Jamal Lewis likes to fill up the bong with his buddies after a hard day rehabbing his knee.
What bothers me, though, is these guys know the rules and they know if they break those rules, they pay. But they still can't put the pipe or the bottle down. Guys like Sellers, Odom and Bellisari put themselves into situations that, somewhere down the road, only lead to disappointment and failure. Have as many beers as you want, Greg. Just don't get into your car afterwards and go driving down a crowded street. Smoke as much pot as you want, Lamar. Just don't try telling your fans that you're only "experimenting." That's a load of crap.
The bottom line here is these guys make a ton of money and they live the lives we as sports fans have dreamt about since we were five years old. And watching them screw up again... and again... and again... and again is unbearable. If you want to get high, fine. Just do it on your own time. Wait until your career is over and then snort yourself a line of coke that stretches from here to Cambodia.
Until then, you get paid a lot of money to do a job and we pay a lot of money to see you do that job. Hold up your end of the deal or get the hell off the field.
Oh yeah... and go Browns!
In the Bullz-Eye
New England QB Tom Brady. Even though Drew Bledsoe is finally healthy, Patriots head coach Bill Belichick has publicly said Brady will be the starter for the rest of the season unless, in Belichick's own words, "something unforeseen happens." After starting the season 0-2 with Bledsoe behind center, the Pats have gone 5-3 with Brady running the show, making Belichick's decision seemingly an easy one. But with the kind of money Bledsoe's making and the respect he has from New England fans and the front office, Brady knows one or two big mistakes would have him on the pine in an instant.