An early request
10/10/2001
Codding Home / Sports Channel / Bullz-Eye Home
Dear Santa,
You owe me. And it's time to pay up.
See, every year when I was growing up, I'd sit down at my little desk in the winter months, crayon or pencil in hand, blank piece of paper in front of me, and I'd write a letter to you. Sure, the main purpose of those letters was to outline my annual Christmas wish list, but I'd always ask you how Mrs. Claus, Rudolph and the elves were all doing first. Every year. I was a polite little kid.
I was also a good kid because my mom told me you rewarded the children on your "nice" list with plenty of Christmas loot every December. So I didn't talk back to my parents. And I didn't break stuff in the house. I never ignored my chores and I never swore.
Okay, so I did all that stuff, but I always cut down on the talking back, the destruction and the swearing near the end of the year. Because I wanted to impress you.
I wanted to impress you, Santa, because I wanted to find everything from my list, every last item, waiting for me under the tree Christmas morning. Not that I was greedy or anything. I wasn't. I just wanted to be properly rewarded for a full year of good behavior.
Well, a couple months of good behavior, anyway.
So every year, I'd send you a Christmas list that included things like baseball cards and action figures and video games and Matchbox cars and candy and footballs and books and even the occasional pet. Just your typical wish list.
But no matter how good I was throughout the year, you never completely came through for me. Sure, I got my fair share of goodies every Christmas, but I never got a dog, all my Star Wars action figures are MIA and I'm still waiting for that autographed Babe Ruth baseball. What gives?
But this year, you can make up for all those disappointments. You can reaffirm my faith in you, Santa, by giving me just one Christmas gift. Now, I know you're getting this letter a little earlier than you're used to, but I was sort of hoping I could beat the annual rush. Besides, my gift really can't wait.
All I want from you this year, Santa, is 11 wins. That's it, just 11 wins for the Cleveland Indians. Growing up, I would send you lists with 10, 15, sometimes 20 different items. But this year, I'm only asking for one thing: 11 wins.
Well, I guess technically that could be considered 11 things... .
Anyway, as you probably know the baseball playoffs are underway and after taking a year off, the Cleveland Indians are one of the eight participating teams. They're facing the Seattle Mariners, though, a team that won 116 games this season, so it's going to be a tough series. But if they can somehow pull off three wins against Seattle, then four in the ALCS and four more in the World Series, the Indians will be world champions for the first time since 1948. Add that up, and that's a mere 11 wins in 19 games. How hard could that possibly be for you to pull off? Eleven wins and eight losses. That's only a .578 winning percentage. And actually, the Indians made things even easier for you by winning the first game of the series 5-0 on Tuesday.
So, in reality, all I want for Christmas is 10 wins in 18 games.
Sounds pretty simple, right? You could get me out of the way by early November, then you've got nearly two months to focus on everyone else in the world. Plus, since this isn't something that needs to be built or bought -- unless you follow the George Steinbrenner methodology, of course -- you won't have any labor costs. I can't imagine how much the elves charge you per hour.
Just 11 wins. That's it. It's not even a dozen.
For a team that's won nearly 59% of their regular-season games since 1995, asking them to win 10 of their next 18 games doesn't seem like much. Surely, you can help out here. You're Santa. You made reindeer fly, for crying out loud, and you deliver gifts to every single child in the entire world in one friggin' night. You can do this. It's a cakewalk.
You see, I'm just so tired of seeing Joe Torre get doused with champagne in October, and if I have to watch Derek Jeter hoisting the World Series trophy again this season I may take some batting practice on my television. I can't stand the Braves -- in fact, every time I see Andruw Jones on TV, I don't think about his All-Star play in centerfield. I think about his All-Star play at the Gold Club. As for the Mariners, don't you think 116 wins is enough for one season? I do.
Just once, I want to see Bob Wickman on the mound when the final out of the World Series is made, not Mariano Rivera. Why can't Jim Thome hold that beautiful trophy above his head during a locker room celebration? Can we have just one "World Champions" flag flying high at Jacobs Field? One tickertape parade in the streets of downtown Cleveland?
That's all we want.
And as Cleveland fans, we should definitely be on your "nice" list, Santa. We treated Albert Belle like royalty and welcomed John Rocker this year with applause and understanding. We lived with Art Modell for decades and we've watched the Cavs lose religiously for all these years. We did it all with no championship rings in any sport since 1964, and we didn't complain. Not much, anyway.
Come on. We deserve something for all this suffering.
So all I want for Christmas this year is 11 wins. Eleven wins and all those mornings of disappointments would be forgotten. After all the cookies and beer I gave you throughout the years, it's time to give something back.
Just 11 wins... . We got 10 wins and 25 outs in 1997, but never have the final two outs of a baseball game been so hard to come by.
I know, with the World Series is scheduled to dip into the first week of November, this would be an early gift, but what's one month in the grand scheme of things? Just open that big red bag of yours a little earlier this year and pull out the one gift that would make an entire city's Christmas a merry one. One gift that would warm up a frigid fall in Northeast Ohio. One gift and I'd never ask you for anything else. Ever.
Of course, if you can't make that happen I wouldn't mind a Porsche Boxster and a date with Jennifer Aniston either. Eleven wins, or the car and the date. Either way, I'm happy.
Thanks,
Jamey
PS: How are Mrs. Claus, Rudolph and the elves doing anyway?
In the Bullz-Eye
Detroit Lions QB Charlie Batch. After being benched for Ty Detmer earlier this season, the Lions are giving Batch another chance to start thanks to some unbelievably poor play in two games from Detmer. In limited duty, Batch really hasn't had a bad season, throwing for 389 yards in three halves of action, but he's also tossed three picks and has no touchdown passes. Meanwhile, the Lions currently sit at 0-3 and have managed to score only 20 points in those three losses, the lowest total in football. Head coach Marty Mornhinweg may be willing to give his fourth-year QB a second chance this season, but you've got to think Batch may be seeing the last of his Detroit playing days if he fails again.