CD Review of July 5th, 1961 by The Eastern Stars

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Buy your copy from Mental Monkey Records The Eastern Stars:
July 5th, 1961
no starno starno starno starno star Label: Mental Monkey Records
Released: 2006

Congratulations! You totally win! You've made the worst album I've ever heard! Wow! If this was an awards show, I'd give you time to thank those people that allowed you to suck this bad and I wouldn't even play music to get you off the stage. Actually, I'd play your own CD for you and make you cry and make you promise never to do this again.

Listen, I can get down w/ some "bad" music (i.e. the Shaggs, the Moldy Peaches, etc.) but this is just uncreative dribble that fuels old white right-wing neo conservative douchebags to pull funding from NPR.

Your record gives the world false hope that the US's economy must actually be doing quite well if people can afford to put out such crappy records and...

WAIT A MINUTE!!! THIS RECORD WAS MADE IN CANADA!!! I KNEW IT!!! THEY ARE TRYING TO TAKE OVER THE COUNTRY BY SENDING RECORDS LIKE THIS ACROSS OUR BORDER AND MAKE IT LOOK LIKE THIS KIND OF TREACHERY IS HAPPENING RIGHT HERE AT HOME!!!! ALERT YOUR CONGRESSMEN AND CONGRESSWOMEN!!! THIS RECORD BLOWS AND IS A THREAT TO HOMELAND SECURTIY!!! CODE RED!!! CODE RED!!!!

~Josh Preston