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In the cell phone age, we tend to forget about the importance of a land line. It
wasn't like today, when you can be out feeding llamas (is it llamas or llami?
Never mind) at your aunt's house and the chick with the wooden teeth you met at
Joe's Feed Bag can call you on your cell and make plans for that evening. Nope.
It wasn't like that at all. You had to be home eating leftovers, playing Atari
2600 and waiting for the phone to ring. If nothing else, Blondie put into words
the anxiety of possibly getting laid.
From their early Buddy Holly-sounding beginnings to full-blown coke binges at
Studio 54, Blondie has been a consistent band for longer than any of us can
remember. And not “consistent” in a demeaning way, but “consistent” like Reese’s
Peanut Butter Cups: you know what you're going to get. The chocolate and peanut
butter goodness is their real attitude and substance. It's still amazing how
Blondie played their brand of “disco” and pissed off the punk nerds that were
busy comparing hairdos and piercings while standing in line to get into CBGBs.
Unlike most of the pioneering bands that tore shit up at Hilly's hole on the
Lower East Side, Blondie actually used their anti-establishment roots to break
into the mainstream when no one was looking. And they've stayed there for nearly
30 years.
So let's just get it out in the open: Deborah Harry is a MILF and there's no
reason that even if you're not into Blondie, you can't just let the videos on
the DVD portion of our program roll with different music in the stereo.
Particularly the video for "The Hardest Part," where Debbie (is it okay if I
call you Debbie?) is brunette and the video is shot on what looks like the
borrowed set for DJ Jazzy Jeff & the Fresh Prince’s “Parents Just Don't
Understand.” Super hot. But this video and all of the other videos beg the
question: why the hell did the drummer get so much face time? And the rest of
the band, for that matter? It's as confusing now as it must have been then, when
these were (barely) in rotation.
Oh yeah, Greatest Hits: Sound & Vision is a CD and DVD. The CD covers
much of the same ground that their previous nine million greatest hits records
cover. Although, the tracks flow together better than most greatest-hits records
and, from a pure sonic perspective, it sounds incredible. There are a few
remixes and whatnot slid into the disc which, while they don't make you skip to
the next track, they don't necessarily hold your attention either. With that
said, let's get back to the videos.
Each and every video contains performance footage. It's too bad Blondie weren't
a band in their prime during the time of videos with story lines. Wouldn't that
have been great? It's totally easy to envision an insecure band living out their
nightmare that Debbie went solo (is it too soon for No Doubt comparisons?
Ouch.). The DVD could have benefited from a live performance or two. And check
this out: the video for "The Tide Is High" has a montage of their older videos
and a giant purple “Number 1” floats across the screen every time she says the
word “one,” a la “Sesame Street” – which is pretty damn funny whether you're
inebriated or sober.
The “standout” track on both the CD and the DVD is the mash-up song/video for
“Rapture Riders.” Yeah, it's a mash-up of Blondie's tune “Rapture” and the
Doors’ “Riders on the Storm.” It's pretty creepy on first listen/watch
but...well, it's creepy. Note to Jim Morrison fans: Don't say I didn't warn you.
Much like “Rapture Riders,” Blondie has always been the square peg to the
world's round hole, and they've never seemed to fit in comfortably; but that's
ultimately the beauty of this band.
~Josh Preston
joshp@bullz-eye.com
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