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For all the hype about the current retro-rock trend, I’ve noticed that while the
usual suspects – Franz Ferdinand, The Killers and Interpol, to name a few –
sound as if they are influenced by 80’s new wave, none of the music actually
sounds as if it came from the decade of bad neon fashion and Reagan’s “voodoo
economics.” This perspective changed when I heard Please Describe Yourself,
the debut album from Scotland’s Dogs Die In Hot Cars. (For those wondering about
the origin of the band’s name/public service announcement, the group was
inhaling helium balloons one day and it just sort of slipped out. They saw it in
print and thought it looked golden, and the rest is history.) Consisting of
eleven sunny songs – channeling the likes of XTC and the Talking Heads –
Please Describe Yourself is probably the best ‘80s album written since 1989.
Every song on the disc is both catchy and distinct, which is no small feat. The
band’s first single “I Love You ‘Cause I Have To” gets things off to a raucous
start and while it’s a great song, it’s not even one of the best tracks on the
disc. On “Modern Woman,” the group – much like Hot Hot Heat did on Make Up
The Breakdown – shows the rare ability to write both catchy verses and
choruses. The only thing that dates the album is the lyrics in the silly
celebrity-worship anthem “Celebrity Sanctum.” The humor is apparent, starting
with the line “I love Lucy / I love Lucy Liu / yes I love her twice as much as
you” and moving on with “now there’s Jolie / Angela Jolie / could you ever look
as good as she?” But in the end, the desperate character in the song realizes
what’s really important and just wants “someone who will come home.”
The upwardly cascading “Apples & Oranges” is the kind of song that, if you’re on
the verge of a good mood, will put you well over the top. This is true for most
of the disc – if you’re in a crap mood and want to stay in a crap mood,
Please Describe Yourself isn’t for you. The chorus on the album’s second
single, “Godhopping,” is somehow both difficult to make out and infectious, the
only clear words being “all the way to Bombay.” Arguably, the nod for the best
song on the disc goes to the slacker-anthem “Lounger,” written from the point of
view of an educated man not doing much with his education – the chorus goes “I
get up when I like / wear anything I like / don’t keep up with the cool / I make
up my own rules” culminating with a delicious vocalization on “I can lounge
about in my house ‘cause lounging about is…good.”
The silliness continues on “Paul Newman’s Eyes,” and you’ll soon be singing
along with the Irish-drinking-song-inspired chorus. “Pastimes & Lifestyles” is
another upbeat number with a cascading chorus that will put a smile on your face
and get your blood flowing. Even when they slow things down, as on “Glimpse At
The Good Life,” it still works. Despite its odd title and lyrics, “Who Shot The
Baby?” closes the album in the same spirit as the opener and, when it’s finally
over, you’ll need a pill to come down from the high you’ll be on.
Okay, I’ve raved about almost every track and the last thing I want to do is
oversell the disc and give you bloated expectations. But with its peppy, catchy
hooks and sunny disposition, Please Describe Yourself might be the
perfect summer album. Released last August, it belongs with the likes of Franz
Ferdinand’s debut and Modest Mouse’s
Good News For
People Who Like Bad News – it’s one of the best albums of 2004.
~John Paulsen
jpaulsen@bullz-eye.com
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