We knew that when we compiled our list of sexiest album covers, we were opening ourselves up to all sorts of debate. Truth be told, we were looking forward to it; after all, no matter how much research we did, there would be an album cover or two that would slip between the cracks, pardon the pun. That’s where we were hoping that you, faithful reader, would chime in. And chime in, you did.
Our mailbox was filled with all kinds of pictures – along with the daily deluge of porno spam – of album covers released all over the world, including a couple covers that were banned in the States. Some were smokin’ hot, some had potential, and one was outright disgusting. There is surely a psychological study in the making here. And so, without further ado, we present the readers’ poll of covers that we should have listed. And if we still haven't done this topic justice, drop us a line. Again.
Sex and the Seventies
Lifetime Achievement Award: The Ohio Players
We received twice as much mail on the Ohio Players as we did on every other artist combined. But the readers, much like the staff, could not come to a consensus on which cover was their favorite, which is why OP missed our top 10. Therefore, in recognition of the fine work they have done, we present a handful of our favorite covers, in chronological order. (You can find a gallery of the original Ohio Players album covers here.)
Two for the Ages
|Herb Alpert: Whipped Cream and Other Delights
Yowza. We’re more than slightly embarrassed that we missed this one, especially since we actually reviewed the album a while back. Sure, you can’t see anything, but there’s something about a girl covered by something other than clothing (see our #2 album, Henry Rollins’ Nice) that makes the imagination run wild.
|White Zombie: Supersexy Swingin’ Sounds!
Holy schnikes! When we first saw that someone had suggested a Rob Zombie cover, we expected some red-skinned beast woman with horns, but sporting a nice rack as well (our reference base for this logic was the cover for their Night Crawlers EP). Instead, we are treated to a blonde slice of hammock heaven. The best touch is the haircut; the fact that the cover girl has a demure, early ‘60s ‘do, as opposed to super-teased coke whore hair, makes it even sexier. Easily our favorite of the bunch.
Here's one we’d like to erase from our memory. Don’t say we didn’t warn you.
|Mom’s Apple Pie: Self-titled
In a word: ewwwwww. And that was our reaction before we took a closer look at the section of the pie where a slice was cut out. You can get a better look at it here, but let us just say it leaves nothing to the imagination, unlike every cover on our list. The cover was apparently banned within months, though we’re surprised it actually made it to the shelves at all.